imma try to find the mp3 of this somewhere and link it.
فرشي التراب يضمني وهو غطائي
حولي الرمال تلفني بل من ورائي
واللحد يحكي ظلمة فيها ابتلائي
والنور خط كتابه أنسى لقائي
والأهل اين حنانهم باعوا وفائي
والصحب اين جموعهم تركوا اخائي
والمال اين هناءه صار ورائي
والاسم اين بريقه بين الثناءِ
هذي نهاية حالي فرشي الترابِ
والحب ودّع شوقه وبكى رثائي
والدمع جف مسيره بعد البكاء
والكون ضاق بوسعه ضاقت فضائي
فاللحد صار بجثتي أرضي سمائي
هذي نهاية حالي فرشي الترابِ
والخوف يملأ غربتي والحزن دائي
أرجو الثبات وإنه قسما دوائي
والرب أدعو مخلصا أنت رجائي
أبغي إلهي جنة فيها هنائي
Rough translation I found on the net (some of it doesn't make sense):
Dust is my bed, embraces me and it’s my cover now
The sand surrounds me even behind my back
And the grave tells a dankness of my affliction
And the brightness draws a line……………
Where is my family’s love? They sold my loyalty!
And where is my group of friends? They left my brotherhood!
Where is the bliss of money? It’s behind my back now
And my name (reputation) where is it shine between praises
This is my end and this is my bed
And love farewells its longing and my elegizing cried
And the tears went dry after crying
And the universe became narrow and so is my space
And the grave became my ground and sky
This is my end and this is my bed
Fear fills my estrangement and sadness is my illness
I expect firmness and I swear it’s my cure
And for Allah i pray faithfully, you are my hope
Allah! I desire heaven, to find bliss in it
And for Allah i pray faithfully, you are my hope
Allah! I desire heaven, to find bliss in it
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
no countdowns here
assalaamu alaikum
tonight was the 29th night (for some of us) and theres only at the most, 2 days left in ramadan. i was chilling with my boy earlier and i kept hearing him say, "finally, ramadan is almost over. i can't wait for eid man." i usually feel the same way. i did last year, and all the years before that. this ramadan is different. and you know whats funny is that while we were having our bootleg MSA meetings early on in the month, we had a lil discussion about how this ramadan was different from all the rest, or if it even was different at all. well at that time, i wasn't sure if it was different at all. i was just getting through each day and night one by one, and it didn't seem any different. but now i can honestly say that this is the first time where i REALLY do NOT want the month to end. i wish ramadan went on for the rest of the year. i wish it never stopped.
i wish taraweeh could go on for the rest of the year. i wish the rest of the months and every single day of the year could go by like a day of ramadan, drenched and surrounded by the recitation of Quran. i finished the Quran on the 25th night in annapolis, and the morning after, i was straight depressed. and just a few hours ago, we finished again at ISB, and i got that feeling again.
i could describe it as fear. fear of getting high off ramadan, and then hitting the low in the months following. i never really made ramadan or post-ramadan resolutions or any of that stuff, but this time... i dunno. i just wanna keep this up.
taraweeh man.
my arabic is garbage. but its 20 times better than last year, and recitation was the funnest thing in the world, cuz i was actually understanding it. my goal for next year (if i live that long) is to have arabic down, insha Allah. im gonna be studying it either way in the darul uloom, but i really wanna study it WELL. i wanna KNOW the language and be able to speak it, so basically that means that i wont be just "barely getting by" with my hour of studying a week or the way i usually procrastinate.
i got so much stuff to do and improve on. will i do it tho? i think bout all this stuff constantly, but i dont really act on it. today while i was waiting at the MVA for *4* hours, i was chillin in the car listening to Ghamdi's, Muhammad Jebril's, and Ajmy's khatm duah, and asked Allah to give me death right there if there was nothing good for me any more. basically, like if i was gonna slip up and become more worthless than i already am this following year, save me from it. and then i was thinking, i need to constantly make duah for Allah to make me die in a state of Islam, and the best state possible. almost like, oh Allah, if this state that i am in right now is the best state i will EVER be in, make me die in it. no i'm not wishing for death, but i'm juss saying that i'd rather die while i'm ahead rather than go backwards and die in an unfortunate situation.
Allahumma innaa na'oothu bika min 'AINIL LAA TUDMA'.
"Oh Allah, surely we seek refuge in You from the eye that doesn't tear."
* * * * * * * * *
oh, but i am looking forward to this sunday. tackle football, cedar lane park. i feel like merkin some cats. insha Allah.
tonight was the 29th night (for some of us) and theres only at the most, 2 days left in ramadan. i was chilling with my boy earlier and i kept hearing him say, "finally, ramadan is almost over. i can't wait for eid man." i usually feel the same way. i did last year, and all the years before that. this ramadan is different. and you know whats funny is that while we were having our bootleg MSA meetings early on in the month, we had a lil discussion about how this ramadan was different from all the rest, or if it even was different at all. well at that time, i wasn't sure if it was different at all. i was just getting through each day and night one by one, and it didn't seem any different. but now i can honestly say that this is the first time where i REALLY do NOT want the month to end. i wish ramadan went on for the rest of the year. i wish it never stopped.
i wish taraweeh could go on for the rest of the year. i wish the rest of the months and every single day of the year could go by like a day of ramadan, drenched and surrounded by the recitation of Quran. i finished the Quran on the 25th night in annapolis, and the morning after, i was straight depressed. and just a few hours ago, we finished again at ISB, and i got that feeling again.
i could describe it as fear. fear of getting high off ramadan, and then hitting the low in the months following. i never really made ramadan or post-ramadan resolutions or any of that stuff, but this time... i dunno. i just wanna keep this up.
taraweeh man.
my arabic is garbage. but its 20 times better than last year, and recitation was the funnest thing in the world, cuz i was actually understanding it. my goal for next year (if i live that long) is to have arabic down, insha Allah. im gonna be studying it either way in the darul uloom, but i really wanna study it WELL. i wanna KNOW the language and be able to speak it, so basically that means that i wont be just "barely getting by" with my hour of studying a week or the way i usually procrastinate.
i got so much stuff to do and improve on. will i do it tho? i think bout all this stuff constantly, but i dont really act on it. today while i was waiting at the MVA for *4* hours, i was chillin in the car listening to Ghamdi's, Muhammad Jebril's, and Ajmy's khatm duah, and asked Allah to give me death right there if there was nothing good for me any more. basically, like if i was gonna slip up and become more worthless than i already am this following year, save me from it. and then i was thinking, i need to constantly make duah for Allah to make me die in a state of Islam, and the best state possible. almost like, oh Allah, if this state that i am in right now is the best state i will EVER be in, make me die in it. no i'm not wishing for death, but i'm juss saying that i'd rather die while i'm ahead rather than go backwards and die in an unfortunate situation.
Allahumma innaa na'oothu bika min 'AINIL LAA TUDMA'.
"Oh Allah, surely we seek refuge in You from the eye that doesn't tear."
* * * * * * * * *
oh, but i am looking forward to this sunday. tackle football, cedar lane park. i feel like merkin some cats. insha Allah.
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