i just came back from crazy rays. crazy rays is basically a huuuuuge junk lot, with junked, wrecked, salvaged etc cars just lying in rows and rows and rows. theres like thousands of cars over there, and basically what you do is you look for whatever part you want, take it out, and go and pay for it. ridiculous prices. and even then, i managed to waste my money. so i went there to get a hazard switch for my maxima. when the dude broke in, he didnt do any damage (besides a shattered window) to the wires and stuff, but when he ripped out the dashboard, he broke my hazard switch. so the car's turn signals wouldn't work. first i thought it was a short, but asking around, they said it might be the hazard switch. okay.

so i went to the junkyard to find a hazard switch, found one off a sentra in the first five mins. decided to keep lookin around, maybe some CD set was still in one of these cars right? well yea, all the CD systems were gone, but there were plenty of nice tape decks. so i took one out of a maxima, and then went on ahead to take off its windshield wipers too. my car's wipers are kinda messed up, so that if you close the hood of the car, they get stuck under them. so these wipers were a lil smaller, and they were off a nissan (not a maxima tho) so i said hey, whatever. i payed 36 bucks for the switch, two windshield wipers, and the nice tape deck, which also had like those sound manipulaters with all the lil switches and guages, kinda like what ull see at a studio o_0. GOOD PRICE? YEA! IF THEY WORKED!

its a junkyard. everything is as-is condition. no refunds, returns, etc. alhamdulillah the hazard switch worked perfectly, and i now have my turn signals again. but the tape deck doesnt work, i guess its broken. and the wipers are too small to hook into the motors. woohoo. i cudda got the switch in five bucks, but instead i used another 30, that cudda went to gas. i always look for lessons in things, you know something Allah wants to teach me. or maybe this is the Jazaa' of something i did earlier. but the only thing i cud get out of this was, "only get what you came for"?

yea, the summer is almost over, and i have no choice but to keep this car and fix it. i dont have the time, money, or energy to look for another one, and when the fall semester starts, we are going to NEED all 3 cars, running. so while i was figuring out how bad i wasted my 30 bucks, this brother who im real cool with and whos a mechanic, recently sold his shop though, came up and was like thats what you bought? im like mhm. i tell him the story, what it needs n wut not, and how im waiting for some guy to tell me his price to fix it up. i show him the inspection papers, and he had pretty much the same reaction i had. the guy who did the inspection overreacted like retard, and if i took it to someone else, they wudda passed that thing. so anyways, he was like, why dont YOU fix it? i was like, you wanna teach me? he goes, sure.

Ya Allah, please take care of all my affairs, ameen.

Inna ma'al 'Usri Yusraa.

As Salaamu Alaikum

just came back from the gym, played a lil ball. this is my second day of playing after like a month and a half of laying off my legs due to my ankle injury. man my legs are so weak now. two weeks of crutches and another month of just laying off of them really made them weak, so now when im playin, im puttin all this tension on them all of a sudden. so i feel like i ran a mile after one game. hows my ankle feel? its funny cuz my weak legs are bothering me more than my ankle.

so sunday (playoffs) is still in question. i was telling dude today that i probably wouldnt be able to play, cuz even though im moving normally, everthing is at like 70% speed. he said i was playin fine, but i know myself that i cant play at that level where i can help the team, take over, blow by someone, etc against a real defense.

honestly though, the ISB league isnt even that serious. its not something so important that im gonna risk myself gettin injured again just to play. if i feel good, ill play. if not, im not gonna risk anything. its just a summer league. but alhamdulillah im playin again. and inshaAllah, imma get back to my previous level and come back better.

may Allah give me a full recovery. Ameen.

salaamu alaikum

i dunno what the hype is about. i finally had to use our new ORECK vacuum cleaner, and im convinced that my sister, mom and dad are all delusional. this thing sucks. you cant even move it properly. u try to go straight up, it goes right. its like at random times, it grows a brain, or maybe its supposed to be "smart" and has some type of "sensors" (which I doubt cuz its so skinny and raggety looking that i wonder how it costs so much) but it goes in wierd directions. and its supposed to be lightweight? what good is that if you can't manuever it properly. ok im done with that. here is one of my posts on islamica reflecting my thoughts lately:

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alright, then can somebody please tell me

HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO RAISE YOUR KIDS!?

i mean, you can only do so much, and at the end, you just have to hope they have enough taqwa to make the right choices. but now theres children from "pious" families who don't give a crap about their religion, let alone practice. and then theres the brothers and sisters from completely non-muslim or culturafied households who are striving sincerely at such young ages? its scary to think that after everything you do for your child, they could end up either way? or is there something that these families are missing that the other ones are doing?

see i'm rambling, cuz i don't know exactly what i'm asking. but have you ever been at the masjid and you see the little kid who comes to the masjid with his father just out of love for the masjid? and you talk to him and he is just oveflowing with life and love for the sunnah? and you just wanna go up to his father and be like, how have you raised your kid?

wallahi i was thinking about this today in BIO class, where we were talking about recessive and dominant diseases. how would you feel if your child was born with a disease like that? and i got to thinking, what if they have an even greater disease? the disease of Nifaaq and hypocrisy?

aight ill stop now. may Allah give us all righteous offspring. ameen.

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Salaamu alaikum

heh, can't say its been uneventful lately. weddings, halaqas, tests, cars gettin broken into, etc. but right now, this is about the Khutbah i gave at Dar ul Taqwa. First of all, it was for the kids of the summer camp, so it wasn't like anything big. yea it was the first khutbah i've given, and i started losing my voice throughout the middle of it like a retard. but I did actually get through the whole thing and finish it off. Alhamdulillah.

i started writing it the night before and finished it in the morning of Friday. it was all a jumble of stuff, but alhamdulillah most of the stuff was just things on my mind that i wanted to say, so I didn't have to look at the paper at all until the very end. so now that ive gone and fixed it up so that its readable to the human eye, im gonna post it here. note: it LOOKS long, but it really didn't take that long when delivering. also, I didn't include the usual Duaa that you say during the Khutbah, and I didn't include the Duaas at the end. so here it is:

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Assalaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu

Allah SWT says in the Quran:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ اتَّقُواْ اللّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِ وَلاَ تَمُوتُنَّ إِلاَّ وَأَنتُم مُّسْلِمُونَ

“O you who believe! Fear Allah as He should be feared. And die not except in a state of Islam with complete submission to Allah.”

Today, I wanted to talk about a topic that is discussed many times and constantly. And although, Masha’Allah I don’t think that any of you over here will learn anything new from what I am going to say, it will serve as a reminder. And this reminder is first and foremost to myself, because this is something that I need to be reminded about constantly. This topic is Taqwa.

Now what is Taqwa? I’m sure that all of the brothers and sisters here already know what Taqwa is: fear of Allah. Or that is the basic definition used by most people. And then if we go deeper into the meaning of Taqwa, we all know that it is not just fear of Allah, but it is a state between fear and hope. Fear of Allah’s displeasure, and hope for His pleasure and His Mercy. To lean too far on either side, for us to simply fear, and leave out the hope part, or for us to become so hopeful that we leave out the fear part, is incorrect and can be very dangerous.

So now for one to say that Allah is Al-Ghafoor and Al-Raheem. At least 17 times a day, I would hope more, but at the least, 17 times a day, we read Surah Fatiha. And in the second Ayah of Surah Fatiha, we say Al-Rahmanir Raheem. The Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful. Now some people, Subhan Allah, they take this to such a level that they say Allah is the Most Merciful, so why would he ever punish me. I am not like most of the people out there, going out, drinking, partying. I’m just a regular Muslim doing my part, so why would Allah punish me? They feel content with their deeds and Akhirah. This is incorrect. Of course, Allah says he is Al-Ghafoor and Al-Raheem, but then do we forget the verse where Allah SWT says:

وَلَكِنَّ عَذَابَ اللَّهِ شَدِيدٌ

“But Surely, the Punishment of Allah is severe!”

How can we be so bold to say that Allah will never punish us? We have to go back and look at the attitude that the Companions had. The Companions of the Prophet SAW were the very people who were given a status unequaled by others in the Quran. Allah says about them:

رَّضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمْوَرَضُوا عَنْهُ

“Allah is pleased with them, and they are pleased with him.”

For Allah to say in his Book, Al-Quran, the absolute Truth, that he is pleased with a group of people is nothing to shrug off. It is a very big deal. During the second generation of Muslims, when the Sahabah started dying off, they were considered gems in the Ummah. If a group of people had the Sahabah on their side, it gave their position so much more weight. The Sahabah had a level of their own. And then even within themselves, there were ranks amongst them. The likes of Abu Bakr Al-Siddiq, Umar bin Khattab, Uthman bin Affan, and Ali ibn Abi Talib, (RA) along with the rest of the ten that were given the glad tidings of paradise in one sitting, had their own status. Imagine that, the Prophet (SAW) listing ten Companions, one by one by one, saying they will be in Jannah. And everything the Prophet (SAW) said, came from Allah, so they are getting a guarantee that they will be in the highest place in Jannah along with the Prophet SAW. And yet these same people, who knew that when they died, they were going to heaven, used to spend their entire nights in Tahajjud prayer, crying until their beards would drip with tears. These same people gave all of their wealth in the path of Allah. These same people use to fear that they were hypocrites.

Uthman bin Affan (RA), who was the third Khalifa of the Muslims, was murdered by the hypocrites of his time. The night before he was killed, he had a dream where he saw the Prophet SAW, sitting with Abu Bakr and Umar (RA), and he told him that tomorrow, you will break your fast with us. So that morning when he went out of the house, he was fasting. He has just received confirmation from the Prophet that he is going to be with him in Jannah. And this is the same person for whom the Prophet SAW said that “after today, Uthman can do no wrong.” And this is the same person for whom one day, when the Prophet SAW was reclining with his companions, just chilling, and some of his clothing had slipped and uncovered part of his leg, and Uthman walked into the gathering. The Prophet SAW immediately got up and fixed his clothing. The Companions asked why he did that. And he said, “Should I not be shy in front of the person whom even the Angels are shy of?” Even the Angels were shy to be in the presence of Uthman (RA). And this same person, when he was dying, what did he say?

“Laa ilaaha illa ant, Subhanaka, inni kuntu minath Thalimeen.”

“There is no god but You (Allah), Glory be to You, Surely I am from the wrongdoers.”

If Uthman (RA) considered himself, after all this, to be a Dhaalim, an oppressor, due to his fear and Taqwa, how can we, people who sin day in and day out and don’t even acknowledge our deeds, say that on the Day of Judgment, Allah will pardon our mistakes?

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Allah SWT says in the Quran:

قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَى أَنفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِن رَّحْمَةِ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ

Say: "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves! Despair not of the mercy of Allah, verily, Allah forgives all sins, Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”

This verse gives us tremendous hope. Allah is saying that those who have transgressed against themselves! And in another place he says,

[وَمَن يَعْمَلْ سُوءاً أَوْ يَظْلِمْ نَفْسَهُ ثُمَّ يَسْتَغْفِرِ اللَّهَ يَجِدِ اللَّهَ غَفُوراً رَّحِيماً ]

“And whoever does evil or wrongs himself but afterwards seeks Allah's forgiveness, he will find Allah Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful”

Allah is describing someone disobeying Him as doing Dhulm (Oppression) upon themselves, because that is the actuality of it. We are oppressing ourselves when we choose to disobey Allah, because no one else will feel the ramifications of our deeds on the Day of Judgment but ourselves. And yet Allah is saying that those who have transgressed against their own souls, or wrong their souls and commit evils, to the point where they think they have mountains of sins on their scales, “but afterwards seek Allah’s forgiveness, he will find Allah Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful.” And in the first Ayah, Allah says, “Do NOT despair in the mercy of Allah, Verily Allah is will forgive ALL sins, and he is Al-Ghafoor and Al-Raheem.” To despair in the hope of Allah’s forgiveness is only weakness of faith. And it is wrong to do so. Why? Because think about it. Allah is describing himself with His attributes as the Most Merciful of all, and the Most Forgiving of all. So when we say that Allah can never forgive me, we are actually limiting the mercy and attributes of Allah SWT! He is saying he will do something, and we are saying he cannot. That’s a very big deal! InshaAllah I will end with a Hadith of the Prophet SAW:

Imam Ahmad recorded that Anas bin Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah , say:

«وَالَّذِي نَفْسِي بِيَدِهِ لَوْ أَخْطَأْتُمْ حَتْى تَمْلَأَ خَطَايَاكُمْ مَا بَيْنَ السَّمَاءِ وَالْأَرْضِ، ثُمَّ اسْتَغْفَرْتُمُ اللهَ تَعَالَى لَغَفَرَ لَكُمْ، وَالَّذِي نَفْسُ مُحَمَّدٍبِيَدِهِ لَوْ لَمْ تُخْطِئُوا لَجَاءَ اللهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ بِقَوْمٍ يُخْطِئُونَ، ثُمَّ يَسْتَغْفِرُونَ اللهَ فَيَغْفِرُ لَهُم»

(By the One in Whose Hand is my soul, if you were to commit sin until your sins filled the space between heaven and earth, then you were to ask Allah for forgiveness, He would forgive you. By the One in Whose Hand is the soul of Muhammad, if you did not commit sin, Allah would bring other people who would commit sins and then ask Allah for forgiveness so that He could forgive them.)

hehe, i was chillin wit the imam after isha' prayer today, juss talkin bout when he's leaving for his trip and some questions and answers, and well, he mentioned the Usool exam. basically it was confirmation that I passed, kinda. He was like, "I would have never given you guys that exam if I had had time to prepare my own. I just took the south africa exam and gave it to you guys. it was too easy. over there they don't even teach qiyas, that is why there were no questions from qiyas. and you guys saw, it was the easiest test yet."

i'm thinking, ALHAMDULILLAH.

so I have to give a khutbah to the kids at the Dar ul Taqwa summer camp this friday. I'm still trying to decide what to do it on. i'll prolly use this thing to brainstorm, when i'm not feeling so lazy. oh yea, mechanic dude was trynna rip me off. im like o_0, how bout no buddy.

so i took my usool test today.

...

i dont think I failed as bad as last time. cuz this time, i actually understood the ibarah which i was answering, i just didn't go into detail. i finished the test in like an hour. the other two brothers took like 3 hours, prolly writing details after details about the masaa'ilah, their objections, and the objections' answers.

"Guess I'm just gonna have to write reallllly general statements. 'Aam. So that they cover everything, and I can't get anything "wrong". " ~ Me, before the test.

excerpt from sunnipath...

وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ فَلْيَسْتَجِيبُوا لِي وَلْيُؤْمِنُوا بِي لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْشُدُونَ (186)

"And when My servants ask you concerning Me, then surely I am close. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he cries unto Me[9]."

This verse is very unique because it is the only verse in the Qur'an where a person came to the Prophet (sa) and asked him a question about Allah (swt). Usually when such and event happened, the revelation would be sent instructing the Prophet (sa) to, "Say or Qul." However, this verse was sent because the people were enquiring about supplication, thus the response did not come through the Prophet (sa) but Allah (swt) answered them in the first person! Again, as the scholars have commented, this was done to show the special relationship between Allah and His servants. It is so close that He did not answer through the Prophet (sa), but answered it directly. Thus when one realizes this, there will be no further loneliness, because Allah is with His servants, listening to them and taking care of them.

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-unrelated- been feeling wierd lately.

arrogance is disgusting.

and I disgust myself sometimes.

I really think that this ankle injury was kind of Allah tugging at my leash, cuz these last couple of weeks it seemed like I was at the peak of my ball game, and was seriously beginning to become unstoppable, at least over at the ISB league. I'm still trying to draw the line between talking trash and becoming too cocky. And between being confident and aggressive, and arrogant in my game. I dunno, I guess its a learning process, and these injuries are for me to take a step back and analyze my situation and what not.

I just wrote like 4 other paragraphs but deleted them, cuz I'm trynna make these posts only useful thoughts, not stuff thats goin down.

its back

So after a few months, (maybe only 1 or 2 actually) this blog is back. InshaAllah, this time it won't be just me "indirectly" complaining bout how busy/tired/hard my days are and what not.

Or I will try my best.

walaikum assalaam