assalaamu alaikum
inshaAllah, i will be leaving Bmore for NY tomorrow at 12:30PM. make duah that i have a safe trip there and back, and that my Hajj and Umrah is accepted by the mercy of Allah, ameen. i won't have my phone on me, and probably won't touch a computer for 3 weeks, so right now, i want to ask anybody and everybody who knows me, if i have done or said anything against you, please forgive me, as i have done for everybody, and Allah will reward you.
Jazaakumullahu Khairan.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Monday, December 26, 2005
'tis a sad day
assalaamu alaikum
i played ball today, came home, showered, and cut my hair. man, it was like parting with an old friend, cuz this was the first time that my hair got a little long without me getting dandruff, head getting all dry and itchy, and just being forced to cut it from frustration. it was nice hair. and long hair. i hadn't had long hair for a few years actually. and now its gone. back to the shape-up sized hair, just with no shape-up (i was lazy). but yeah, my intention of growing my hair out sunnah style is still on, but the reason i cut it was cuz i was going to have to cut it anyways for hajj. and since i'm about to travel, long journeys and the works, i don't need to make it worse by having long hair that's gonna get all dirty. so its gone.
my head is cold.
s-m-h
i played ball today, came home, showered, and cut my hair. man, it was like parting with an old friend, cuz this was the first time that my hair got a little long without me getting dandruff, head getting all dry and itchy, and just being forced to cut it from frustration. it was nice hair. and long hair. i hadn't had long hair for a few years actually. and now its gone. back to the shape-up sized hair, just with no shape-up (i was lazy). but yeah, my intention of growing my hair out sunnah style is still on, but the reason i cut it was cuz i was going to have to cut it anyways for hajj. and since i'm about to travel, long journeys and the works, i don't need to make it worse by having long hair that's gonna get all dirty. so its gone.
my head is cold.
s-m-h
Sunday, December 18, 2005
MARRIAGE post #1
SIKE...made ya look.
assalaamu alaikum
Imam Irfan mentioned something very interesting the other day, and it really scared me:
(paraphrased)
Imam Suyuti mentions that when the Prophets die, their miracles go up with them and are no more. for example, Musa AS's staff that he could throw down and turn it into a serpent; once he died, that miracle was also lifted up. when the Prophet Muhammad SAW died however, 2 miracles were left in this dunya after he departed, the first of which is obviously the Quran.
the second miracle has to do with the stoning of the Jamarat, the stone pillars that we pelt during hajj that represent the three places Shaitan came to Ibrahim AS. now for the servents of Allah who's Hajj is accepted, angels come down and take away the pebbles that they have thrown. that is why you are not supposed to pick up pebbles from the area of jamarat itself, because these are the pebbles that have been rejected.
and just think about it. if each and every one of the hujjaj throws around 49 pebbles into this same area, shouldn't there be mountains of pebbles piling up? even if before we didn't have the same number of people performing Hajj, say it wasn't in the millions, but still tens of thousands right? shouldn't the pebbles have started to pile up with all these people throwing them into the same place? but the saudi government has never had to do anything about this pile, because it simply never existed. until now. and thats the scary part. just recently, the saudi government has been required to remove the pebbles from the area of the jamarat, because the piles have begun to grow.
ya Allah, accept our Hajj and Umrah, and do not make us from those who's Hajj or Umrah has been rejected. Ameen ya rabbal Aalameen.
assalaamu alaikum
Imam Irfan mentioned something very interesting the other day, and it really scared me:
(paraphrased)
Imam Suyuti mentions that when the Prophets die, their miracles go up with them and are no more. for example, Musa AS's staff that he could throw down and turn it into a serpent; once he died, that miracle was also lifted up. when the Prophet Muhammad SAW died however, 2 miracles were left in this dunya after he departed, the first of which is obviously the Quran.
the second miracle has to do with the stoning of the Jamarat, the stone pillars that we pelt during hajj that represent the three places Shaitan came to Ibrahim AS. now for the servents of Allah who's Hajj is accepted, angels come down and take away the pebbles that they have thrown. that is why you are not supposed to pick up pebbles from the area of jamarat itself, because these are the pebbles that have been rejected.
and just think about it. if each and every one of the hujjaj throws around 49 pebbles into this same area, shouldn't there be mountains of pebbles piling up? even if before we didn't have the same number of people performing Hajj, say it wasn't in the millions, but still tens of thousands right? shouldn't the pebbles have started to pile up with all these people throwing them into the same place? but the saudi government has never had to do anything about this pile, because it simply never existed. until now. and thats the scary part. just recently, the saudi government has been required to remove the pebbles from the area of the jamarat, because the piles have begun to grow.
ya Allah, accept our Hajj and Umrah, and do not make us from those who's Hajj or Umrah has been rejected. Ameen ya rabbal Aalameen.
Friday, December 16, 2005
six feet deep
assalaamu alaikum
dr. iqbal passed away yesterday. inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi Raji'oon. he was in a coma for nearly a year and just recently woke up a few months ago, only to have a heart attack. may Allah make his sickness and suffering a means for his Forgiveness and grant him the highest of ranks in Jannah, Ameen. his family is awesome. his sons are all huffadh, 2 of them still studying their aalim course in buffalo, and one of them already a mufti in his twenties. he's my teacher and brother. we play football and basketball together. he would always be coming back and forth from the hospital, spending the entire day by his father's side and would only leave to come and teach us fiqh. inshaAllah, he will be one of the teachers in the Dar-ul-Uloom, may Allah bless him.
the janazah was today after jumu'ah. we went to the graveyard for the burial. there were so many people there, and not only from our community but from other communities in silver spring and laurel too. i was thinking about the concept of brotherhood, and how Allah could take into account the shere number of people attending a janazah to forgive His servants sins. when the Sahabah were asked about their fellow Muslim brothers, what would they say? "We know NOTHING about him but GOOD." really, how many of us can do this? and its such a big deal, because when a person dies, and people talk about him, Allah takes that into account as well.
i dunno, its always good to visit the graveyard and see the dirt that will become our bed very soon. the craziest thing is when you're actually inside the grave and helping prop the body up on its right side. sure, the 6 feet high walls of dirt that are surrounding you, the limp body (man dead weight is really heavy) draped in white sheets right next to you, the sides crumbling as dirt and mud fall into the hole as people try to get in and out have their affects, but what you won't notice until you are inside the grave is all the insects. there are so many insects, roaches, centi/milipedes, all those multi legged things you see on fear factor n stuff, they're crawling down there. waiting. just waiting for the body so they can feast on it. and you realize that that is what is going to happen to your body as well. you're gonna be eaten by tiny roaches in your grave. your mouth, ears, nose, hair, is going to decay and be food for the insects in the dirt.
"Every soul shall taste death."
check it out though. i got this problem every time i go to the graveyard, and its always clawing at the back of my mind. aren't we supposed to bury our own dead? aren't we supposed to bury the muslims? the muslims bury the muslims? if we are not even supposed to bury the muslims along with non muslims, should we let non muslims bury our dead?
...
then why do we let them use the machines to finish up what we started? after the body is placed into the hole, everybody is told to take 3 handfuls of dirt and throw it in, reading the ayah:
Minhaa Khalaqnakum, wa feeha nu'eedukum, wa minha nukhrijukum taaratan ukhra.
"From it We created you, and into it We shall return you, and from it We shall bring you out once again."
and then after that, they take shovels and start dropping down the dirt. it only lasts like 5 minutes tho before random uncles are like, "beta, leave it, they will do the rest." c'mon now. are you serious? we got like 100 heads over here! how long and how hard can it be to just finish the job? it seems so superficial to do a lil bit and then QUIT, and let the graveyard ppl come with the machines to finish it! whats that mean? we just wanted to feel good by thinking we were making a difference by scooping in a few shovelfuls of dirt?
i've felt this way ever since i followed a random janazah to the graveyard. it was still during my days in quran class. after prayer, my teacher told me to go to the graveyard with the janazah because there were only a handful of people going. literally, i could count them on a hand (and a half) if i wanted to. but anyways, we went to the graveyard, and after we put the body in, we started filling up the grave. after five minutes, the machine dudes came, but this handful of brothers i was with told him that they would do it themselves. it took a good 30 minutes of just shoveling dirt, but we did it. and wallahi, it feels so much more real and doing justice to the deceased by letting the muslims bury them. and its not hard or impossible. we did it with a few brothers. but when it comes to janazahs that have so many people, we can't take a few minutes and just finish the job instead of leaving it half done and giving up.
i dunno if i'm just making it unnecessarily hard on myself and others, but thats how i feel. i know that i would want to be buried by the people i knew and loved, and not some bobcat machine.
dr. iqbal passed away yesterday. inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi Raji'oon. he was in a coma for nearly a year and just recently woke up a few months ago, only to have a heart attack. may Allah make his sickness and suffering a means for his Forgiveness and grant him the highest of ranks in Jannah, Ameen. his family is awesome. his sons are all huffadh, 2 of them still studying their aalim course in buffalo, and one of them already a mufti in his twenties. he's my teacher and brother. we play football and basketball together. he would always be coming back and forth from the hospital, spending the entire day by his father's side and would only leave to come and teach us fiqh. inshaAllah, he will be one of the teachers in the Dar-ul-Uloom, may Allah bless him.
the janazah was today after jumu'ah. we went to the graveyard for the burial. there were so many people there, and not only from our community but from other communities in silver spring and laurel too. i was thinking about the concept of brotherhood, and how Allah could take into account the shere number of people attending a janazah to forgive His servants sins. when the Sahabah were asked about their fellow Muslim brothers, what would they say? "We know NOTHING about him but GOOD." really, how many of us can do this? and its such a big deal, because when a person dies, and people talk about him, Allah takes that into account as well.
i dunno, its always good to visit the graveyard and see the dirt that will become our bed very soon. the craziest thing is when you're actually inside the grave and helping prop the body up on its right side. sure, the 6 feet high walls of dirt that are surrounding you, the limp body (man dead weight is really heavy) draped in white sheets right next to you, the sides crumbling as dirt and mud fall into the hole as people try to get in and out have their affects, but what you won't notice until you are inside the grave is all the insects. there are so many insects, roaches, centi/milipedes, all those multi legged things you see on fear factor n stuff, they're crawling down there. waiting. just waiting for the body so they can feast on it. and you realize that that is what is going to happen to your body as well. you're gonna be eaten by tiny roaches in your grave. your mouth, ears, nose, hair, is going to decay and be food for the insects in the dirt.
"Every soul shall taste death."
check it out though. i got this problem every time i go to the graveyard, and its always clawing at the back of my mind. aren't we supposed to bury our own dead? aren't we supposed to bury the muslims? the muslims bury the muslims? if we are not even supposed to bury the muslims along with non muslims, should we let non muslims bury our dead?
...
then why do we let them use the machines to finish up what we started? after the body is placed into the hole, everybody is told to take 3 handfuls of dirt and throw it in, reading the ayah:
Minhaa Khalaqnakum, wa feeha nu'eedukum, wa minha nukhrijukum taaratan ukhra.
"From it We created you, and into it We shall return you, and from it We shall bring you out once again."
and then after that, they take shovels and start dropping down the dirt. it only lasts like 5 minutes tho before random uncles are like, "beta, leave it, they will do the rest." c'mon now. are you serious? we got like 100 heads over here! how long and how hard can it be to just finish the job? it seems so superficial to do a lil bit and then QUIT, and let the graveyard ppl come with the machines to finish it! whats that mean? we just wanted to feel good by thinking we were making a difference by scooping in a few shovelfuls of dirt?
i've felt this way ever since i followed a random janazah to the graveyard. it was still during my days in quran class. after prayer, my teacher told me to go to the graveyard with the janazah because there were only a handful of people going. literally, i could count them on a hand (and a half) if i wanted to. but anyways, we went to the graveyard, and after we put the body in, we started filling up the grave. after five minutes, the machine dudes came, but this handful of brothers i was with told him that they would do it themselves. it took a good 30 minutes of just shoveling dirt, but we did it. and wallahi, it feels so much more real and doing justice to the deceased by letting the muslims bury them. and its not hard or impossible. we did it with a few brothers. but when it comes to janazahs that have so many people, we can't take a few minutes and just finish the job instead of leaving it half done and giving up.
i dunno if i'm just making it unnecessarily hard on myself and others, but thats how i feel. i know that i would want to be buried by the people i knew and loved, and not some bobcat machine.
back to the future
assalaamu alaikum
alhamdulillah, i'm done with finals. finally. the last few weeks i haven't been able to think. like my mind is just foggy for some reason, and i'm just waiting for the semester to be over so bad that it just numbs my brain. i couldn't even get as hyped as i should be about going to hajj. iA tho, i can start now.
my body felt so bogged down during the week, and today we played some serious ball for the first time in a good 3 weeks. my legs are shot. i was out of breath. sweating. bout to have a heart attack. the whole works. it felt so good. came home. hot shower. fresh clothes. and it feels like i just released a whole lotta pent up something. stress? maybe or maybe not, cuz i don't think i was stressed out. more like i was in the slums. lack of stress or activity. i hate having nothing to do and just sitting in the house. i gotta be busy. i feel the best after a long (somewhat) productive tiring day.
alhamdulillah, i'm done with finals. finally. the last few weeks i haven't been able to think. like my mind is just foggy for some reason, and i'm just waiting for the semester to be over so bad that it just numbs my brain. i couldn't even get as hyped as i should be about going to hajj. iA tho, i can start now.
my body felt so bogged down during the week, and today we played some serious ball for the first time in a good 3 weeks. my legs are shot. i was out of breath. sweating. bout to have a heart attack. the whole works. it felt so good. came home. hot shower. fresh clothes. and it feels like i just released a whole lotta pent up something. stress? maybe or maybe not, cuz i don't think i was stressed out. more like i was in the slums. lack of stress or activity. i hate having nothing to do and just sitting in the house. i gotta be busy. i feel the best after a long (somewhat) productive tiring day.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
all-nighters
after being super lazy for maybe a year now, i finally decided to go ahead and install photoshop again. so now those MIST pictures that are like 4 megs each can be easily cropped and resized for normal human viewing.
this was our MIST banner. a masterpiece that is no longer with us today. i believe it was flushed down the toilet or used to soak up a basement flood. (wussup iboo)
after some photoshopping:
this was our MIST banner. a masterpiece that is no longer with us today. i believe it was flushed down the toilet or used to soak up a basement flood. (wussup iboo)
after some photoshopping:
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
no countdowns here
assalaamu alaikum
tonight was the 29th night (for some of us) and theres only at the most, 2 days left in ramadan. i was chilling with my boy earlier and i kept hearing him say, "finally, ramadan is almost over. i can't wait for eid man." i usually feel the same way. i did last year, and all the years before that. this ramadan is different. and you know whats funny is that while we were having our bootleg MSA meetings early on in the month, we had a lil discussion about how this ramadan was different from all the rest, or if it even was different at all. well at that time, i wasn't sure if it was different at all. i was just getting through each day and night one by one, and it didn't seem any different. but now i can honestly say that this is the first time where i REALLY do NOT want the month to end. i wish ramadan went on for the rest of the year. i wish it never stopped.
i wish taraweeh could go on for the rest of the year. i wish the rest of the months and every single day of the year could go by like a day of ramadan, drenched and surrounded by the recitation of Quran. i finished the Quran on the 25th night in annapolis, and the morning after, i was straight depressed. and just a few hours ago, we finished again at ISB, and i got that feeling again.
i could describe it as fear. fear of getting high off ramadan, and then hitting the low in the months following. i never really made ramadan or post-ramadan resolutions or any of that stuff, but this time... i dunno. i just wanna keep this up.
taraweeh man.
my arabic is garbage. but its 20 times better than last year, and recitation was the funnest thing in the world, cuz i was actually understanding it. my goal for next year (if i live that long) is to have arabic down, insha Allah. im gonna be studying it either way in the darul uloom, but i really wanna study it WELL. i wanna KNOW the language and be able to speak it, so basically that means that i wont be just "barely getting by" with my hour of studying a week or the way i usually procrastinate.
i got so much stuff to do and improve on. will i do it tho? i think bout all this stuff constantly, but i dont really act on it. today while i was waiting at the MVA for *4* hours, i was chillin in the car listening to Ghamdi's, Muhammad Jebril's, and Ajmy's khatm duah, and asked Allah to give me death right there if there was nothing good for me any more. basically, like if i was gonna slip up and become more worthless than i already am this following year, save me from it. and then i was thinking, i need to constantly make duah for Allah to make me die in a state of Islam, and the best state possible. almost like, oh Allah, if this state that i am in right now is the best state i will EVER be in, make me die in it. no i'm not wishing for death, but i'm juss saying that i'd rather die while i'm ahead rather than go backwards and die in an unfortunate situation.
Allahumma innaa na'oothu bika min 'AINIL LAA TUDMA'.
"Oh Allah, surely we seek refuge in You from the eye that doesn't tear."
* * * * * * * * *
oh, but i am looking forward to this sunday. tackle football, cedar lane park. i feel like merkin some cats. insha Allah.
tonight was the 29th night (for some of us) and theres only at the most, 2 days left in ramadan. i was chilling with my boy earlier and i kept hearing him say, "finally, ramadan is almost over. i can't wait for eid man." i usually feel the same way. i did last year, and all the years before that. this ramadan is different. and you know whats funny is that while we were having our bootleg MSA meetings early on in the month, we had a lil discussion about how this ramadan was different from all the rest, or if it even was different at all. well at that time, i wasn't sure if it was different at all. i was just getting through each day and night one by one, and it didn't seem any different. but now i can honestly say that this is the first time where i REALLY do NOT want the month to end. i wish ramadan went on for the rest of the year. i wish it never stopped.
i wish taraweeh could go on for the rest of the year. i wish the rest of the months and every single day of the year could go by like a day of ramadan, drenched and surrounded by the recitation of Quran. i finished the Quran on the 25th night in annapolis, and the morning after, i was straight depressed. and just a few hours ago, we finished again at ISB, and i got that feeling again.
i could describe it as fear. fear of getting high off ramadan, and then hitting the low in the months following. i never really made ramadan or post-ramadan resolutions or any of that stuff, but this time... i dunno. i just wanna keep this up.
taraweeh man.
my arabic is garbage. but its 20 times better than last year, and recitation was the funnest thing in the world, cuz i was actually understanding it. my goal for next year (if i live that long) is to have arabic down, insha Allah. im gonna be studying it either way in the darul uloom, but i really wanna study it WELL. i wanna KNOW the language and be able to speak it, so basically that means that i wont be just "barely getting by" with my hour of studying a week or the way i usually procrastinate.
i got so much stuff to do and improve on. will i do it tho? i think bout all this stuff constantly, but i dont really act on it. today while i was waiting at the MVA for *4* hours, i was chillin in the car listening to Ghamdi's, Muhammad Jebril's, and Ajmy's khatm duah, and asked Allah to give me death right there if there was nothing good for me any more. basically, like if i was gonna slip up and become more worthless than i already am this following year, save me from it. and then i was thinking, i need to constantly make duah for Allah to make me die in a state of Islam, and the best state possible. almost like, oh Allah, if this state that i am in right now is the best state i will EVER be in, make me die in it. no i'm not wishing for death, but i'm juss saying that i'd rather die while i'm ahead rather than go backwards and die in an unfortunate situation.
Allahumma innaa na'oothu bika min 'AINIL LAA TUDMA'.
"Oh Allah, surely we seek refuge in You from the eye that doesn't tear."
* * * * * * * * *
oh, but i am looking forward to this sunday. tackle football, cedar lane park. i feel like merkin some cats. insha Allah.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
juss a lil bit
salaamu alaikum
gotta let out a big: WOOOOOOO (loud sighing "woo" o_0)
i. am. beat. yo.
we ended just now, 2:00AM man. its like coming back from a good hard game of ball. it feels good. but you're straight mopped.
gotta let out a big: WOOOOOOO (loud sighing "woo" o_0)
i. am. beat. yo.
we ended just now, 2:00AM man. its like coming back from a good hard game of ball. it feels good. but you're straight mopped.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
the green ranger
salaamu alaikum
http://thatvideosite.com/view/969.html
aw man i would put this up on islamica, but the site that its on has some haramish ads.
ahh the old school days of saturday morning cartoons... :faint:
http://thatvideosite.com/view/969.html
aw man i would put this up on islamica, but the site that its on has some haramish ads.
ahh the old school days of saturday morning cartoons... :faint:
Friday, October 21, 2005
oh so close...
salaamu alaikum
i think there was a topic on islamica about where you see yourself in 10 years. i dunno, but my initial response was: prolly be dead. i dunno, is it just me, or does anybody else get the feeling that theyre gonna die real young? i do. the other day i was so tired when i was driving, i almost got into a nasty car accident, but alhamdulillah Allah saved me, and my car. but after that i was thinking, you know, that coulda been IT. and i wudda died in Ramadan. how many close calls have i had? im thinking about it, and im like, every day, im dodging bullets. we all are. its so easy to die.
i was planning on going for Hajj this year, thinking hey, if i have the money, let me do it, fulfill my obligation, and be ready to "die". but now im not going, cuz i asked the shaykh about students who wanted to go to hajj (in the aalim program) and he was like nah, theyll miss too much. ALTHOUGH, now that i think about it, since i HAVE already somewhat studied Nahw and Sarf (sure its garbage but hey i did take the course) i might be allowed to kinda miss a lil bit since im "ahead" right? at least this first year. im starting late anyways tho. its starting after ramadan, and im not gonna come in until my semesters over. i dunno.
im gonna start rambling now.
past few weeks ive been thinkin bout this stuff a lot, dunno why tho. but the whole notion of living this life as a traveler seems so hard in todays society, where you're grounded to this dunya by so many things. all these shiny things we have, fancy homes and clothes and cars, just tie us down. it seems almost impossible to truly "live this life as a traveler".
but im beginning to think, sure its got to do with material things, but also nonmaterial things, like attitudes. sometimes we take things so seriously. little dents in our egoes or emotions, and we get hurt so bad. is it really gonna kill us? even if it does, it doesn't matter, we're just travelers. people get caught up in dramas to such an extent that it affects their health and its all they think or talk about. dude you're a traveler.
now that might sound like im holding an opinion that you shouldnt get attached to people in this life, and that feelings dont matter because in the end, everybodys gonna hurt you and you will only be truly happy in the afterlife, inshaAllah. the latter part may be true, but i dont doubt things like sincerity, brother/sisterhood (such a powerful thing), piety, being TRUE and REAL and all that good green stuff. im tellin you, that stuff is real. its not imaginary. and just because we one day come into contact with the "real world" where things are ugly and gritty, we forget all these things and say "i have never experienced any good."
middle path.
sure we're all gonna die. the Prophet SAW knew that better than anyone, and yet the amount of love and genuine compassion he showed towards mankind in general was nothing short of amazing. why spend hours upon hours of qiyam at night time until his heels would bleed, begging Allah to help and save this Ummah - THIS UMMAH, that means every single one of us, you and I - why would anybody do that if "lifes a [bleep] and then you die"?
...[more if it comes to me]
i think there was a topic on islamica about where you see yourself in 10 years. i dunno, but my initial response was: prolly be dead. i dunno, is it just me, or does anybody else get the feeling that theyre gonna die real young? i do. the other day i was so tired when i was driving, i almost got into a nasty car accident, but alhamdulillah Allah saved me, and my car. but after that i was thinking, you know, that coulda been IT. and i wudda died in Ramadan. how many close calls have i had? im thinking about it, and im like, every day, im dodging bullets. we all are. its so easy to die.
i was planning on going for Hajj this year, thinking hey, if i have the money, let me do it, fulfill my obligation, and be ready to "die". but now im not going, cuz i asked the shaykh about students who wanted to go to hajj (in the aalim program) and he was like nah, theyll miss too much. ALTHOUGH, now that i think about it, since i HAVE already somewhat studied Nahw and Sarf (sure its garbage but hey i did take the course) i might be allowed to kinda miss a lil bit since im "ahead" right? at least this first year. im starting late anyways tho. its starting after ramadan, and im not gonna come in until my semesters over. i dunno.
im gonna start rambling now.
past few weeks ive been thinkin bout this stuff a lot, dunno why tho. but the whole notion of living this life as a traveler seems so hard in todays society, where you're grounded to this dunya by so many things. all these shiny things we have, fancy homes and clothes and cars, just tie us down. it seems almost impossible to truly "live this life as a traveler".
but im beginning to think, sure its got to do with material things, but also nonmaterial things, like attitudes. sometimes we take things so seriously. little dents in our egoes or emotions, and we get hurt so bad. is it really gonna kill us? even if it does, it doesn't matter, we're just travelers. people get caught up in dramas to such an extent that it affects their health and its all they think or talk about. dude you're a traveler.
now that might sound like im holding an opinion that you shouldnt get attached to people in this life, and that feelings dont matter because in the end, everybodys gonna hurt you and you will only be truly happy in the afterlife, inshaAllah. the latter part may be true, but i dont doubt things like sincerity, brother/sisterhood (such a powerful thing), piety, being TRUE and REAL and all that good green stuff. im tellin you, that stuff is real. its not imaginary. and just because we one day come into contact with the "real world" where things are ugly and gritty, we forget all these things and say "i have never experienced any good."
middle path.
sure we're all gonna die. the Prophet SAW knew that better than anyone, and yet the amount of love and genuine compassion he showed towards mankind in general was nothing short of amazing. why spend hours upon hours of qiyam at night time until his heels would bleed, begging Allah to help and save this Ummah - THIS UMMAH, that means every single one of us, you and I - why would anybody do that if "lifes a [bleep] and then you die"?
...[more if it comes to me]
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
comedian
salaamu alaikum
so yesterday after coming back from the district court and receiving my penalty/fine/wutever, i went through a depression that lasted a few hours while i slept, went to school for class, but decided not to go and just sat on the computer for 2 hours bored as crap in K building. alhamdulillah tho, iftar time rolled thru, i came back to the masjid and played playground football with the hafidh school kids, and realizing that i hadn't reviewed for the day, ate iftar, took a shower, and crammed in the juz at the last second. then after taraweeh, i went to the gym and lost in a game of basketball (now wait and calm down, because obviously, ShakirSahab doesn't lose games of basketball, so one must understand the underlying notions that ShakirSahab actually let whoever he was playing win, and then everything fits in place again.)
but anyways, now that im not as blown as before, ill relate how it went. first of all, i should be a comedian, because i had the entire court room laughing (with me >_>) and im pretty sure i made the judge's - who was a pretty ok lady (dont wanna say "nice" cuz she did give me that point at the end) - day. im serious, she shoulda dropped the thing just for being funny.
so i go up and start talking. i had written something down the night before, but when i went up there, any coherency i had on paper was lost.
i was like look, i know i shouldn't have been speeding, but i was on 29, and it was completely empty, im driving my dad's car, and i was late for a class, so i didn't notice how fast i was going. she asks me:
* * *
you have a class at 9:00PM?
yea, and class at my local community center.
at 9:00??? what kind of class is this?
an arabic class.
oh really? when does it end though?
around 11.
oh ok (satisfied)
* * *
so then im like, see the thing is I NEVER SPEED, i just get caught at the worst times. everybody starts laughing. so does the judge. im thinking 'good'. so then im like LOOK, i KNOW that 29 is the LAST place i wanna speed, cuz thats where the cops camp out, i KNOW THAT, so i dont even think bout going over the speed limit on that highway, especially when its empty, its just that that day, i was late for a class and i was just trying to make it on time.
meanwhile theyre all having a pretty good laugh, and shes like, "oh so you never speed but you get caught at the worst times?" im like yea. at this point im thinking, man i gotta use everything i got. so i pull the "i was going with the flow of traffic" card, and everybody is laughing at my great excuses. im like whatever, no use stopping now. so then i tell her how my 18 months are gonna be over in 2 months, and she just simply says, "not any more". i was like barrrrrrrrrr. bastard lady.
so as a final resort, before she can issue a sentencing i pick up the citation and im like, YO, (i actually did say YO in the court room by accident while i was explaining how i never speed and am such a good driver) my name is MISSPELLED on the citation, so TECHNICALLY, i dont even know who this guy is!!!
shes like, oh really, how do you spell ur name. i tell her, she writes it down somewhere, and says, they got ur last name right right? "yes". its all good then.
then she asks bout my previous ticket, and im like i got none. and shes like yea you do. and i go i was not guilty for that. and shes like yea you were. i go no i wasnt. and she goes did you pay a fine? i say yes. and she says that if you paid, then you were found guilty, but were on probation.
and then she says so youre on your provisionals? yes.
you're under 18????? yes.
so you know your parents were supposed to be notified about this? yes.
do they know? yea.
where are they? uhh, at home?
so they know about the ticket? yeaa (wth does she want?)
what did they say? to come here
(audience laughs)
SMH, what the hell do my parents have to do with anything. anyways, that was it. in the end, she said shed bring the speed down to 64 and that makes it one point, and that i should be careful. i stepped away from the podium thing and half expected applause and was thinking about bowing, but i decided not to...
instead i walked into the middle of the room and yelled, "[bleep] THE POLICE NIGGGAAAA!!@!!!" then stole their donuts and ran away.
EDIT: i just posted this on islamica, lets see if i get rep points.....
so yesterday after coming back from the district court and receiving my penalty/fine/wutever, i went through a depression that lasted a few hours while i slept, went to school for class, but decided not to go and just sat on the computer for 2 hours bored as crap in K building. alhamdulillah tho, iftar time rolled thru, i came back to the masjid and played playground football with the hafidh school kids, and realizing that i hadn't reviewed for the day, ate iftar, took a shower, and crammed in the juz at the last second. then after taraweeh, i went to the gym and lost in a game of basketball (now wait and calm down, because obviously, ShakirSahab doesn't lose games of basketball, so one must understand the underlying notions that ShakirSahab actually let whoever he was playing win, and then everything fits in place again.)
but anyways, now that im not as blown as before, ill relate how it went. first of all, i should be a comedian, because i had the entire court room laughing (with me >_>) and im pretty sure i made the judge's - who was a pretty ok lady (dont wanna say "nice" cuz she did give me that point at the end) - day. im serious, she shoulda dropped the thing just for being funny.
so i go up and start talking. i had written something down the night before, but when i went up there, any coherency i had on paper was lost.
i was like look, i know i shouldn't have been speeding, but i was on 29, and it was completely empty, im driving my dad's car, and i was late for a class, so i didn't notice how fast i was going. she asks me:
* * *
you have a class at 9:00PM?
yea, and class at my local community center.
at 9:00??? what kind of class is this?
an arabic class.
oh really? when does it end though?
around 11.
oh ok (satisfied)
* * *
so then im like, see the thing is I NEVER SPEED, i just get caught at the worst times. everybody starts laughing. so does the judge. im thinking 'good'. so then im like LOOK, i KNOW that 29 is the LAST place i wanna speed, cuz thats where the cops camp out, i KNOW THAT, so i dont even think bout going over the speed limit on that highway, especially when its empty, its just that that day, i was late for a class and i was just trying to make it on time.
meanwhile theyre all having a pretty good laugh, and shes like, "oh so you never speed but you get caught at the worst times?" im like yea. at this point im thinking, man i gotta use everything i got. so i pull the "i was going with the flow of traffic" card, and everybody is laughing at my great excuses. im like whatever, no use stopping now. so then i tell her how my 18 months are gonna be over in 2 months, and she just simply says, "not any more". i was like barrrrrrrrrr. bastard lady.
so as a final resort, before she can issue a sentencing i pick up the citation and im like, YO, (i actually did say YO in the court room by accident while i was explaining how i never speed and am such a good driver) my name is MISSPELLED on the citation, so TECHNICALLY, i dont even know who this guy is!!!
shes like, oh really, how do you spell ur name. i tell her, she writes it down somewhere, and says, they got ur last name right right? "yes". its all good then.
then she asks bout my previous ticket, and im like i got none. and shes like yea you do. and i go i was not guilty for that. and shes like yea you were. i go no i wasnt. and she goes did you pay a fine? i say yes. and she says that if you paid, then you were found guilty, but were on probation.
and then she says so youre on your provisionals? yes.
you're under 18????? yes.
so you know your parents were supposed to be notified about this? yes.
do they know? yea.
where are they? uhh, at home?
so they know about the ticket? yeaa (wth does she want?)
what did they say? to come here
(audience laughs)
SMH, what the hell do my parents have to do with anything. anyways, that was it. in the end, she said shed bring the speed down to 64 and that makes it one point, and that i should be careful. i stepped away from the podium thing and half expected applause and was thinking about bowing, but i decided not to...
instead i walked into the middle of the room and yelled, "[bleep] THE POLICE NIGGGAAAA!!@!!!" then stole their donuts and ran away.
EDIT: i just posted this on islamica, lets see if i get rep points.....
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
cuz i'm young and i'm black and my hats real low...
salaamu alaikum
man one of these days imma run from the police, just so i can provoke them to DO SOMETHING while theyre on the job and getting paid besides sitting and chilling in their fancy crown vics and clocking people for going 2 miles over the speed limit. bastards. no really, they dont do anything but sit on the side of the highway and give ppl tickets. go stop violence, stop the drug traffic, do something else besides exploiting other ppl's misfortunes. SMH
yes, i just got back from the court house after a near accident and death experience (another story) trying to fight my ticket. FIRST OF ALL, they had my name wrong on the citation. i tried that card but the judge lady was like, well ur last name is correct, so its all good. nice excuse eh, not my fault the officer can't spell my friggin name. technically i dunno who the hell HAMMOND HAI is...
to make a long story short, even though i had the entire court room laughing at my pretty elaborate excuse for speeding, she didnt drop it. instead she took it down to 1 point. SOOOO, that means that my 18 months are gonna start over again!!! bastards.
and soon i got the court thing for the old geezer lady thats sueing me after half a year. 10,000 dollars, mashaAllah. you old rich lady, what do you need all that money for!?!??!?!?!??!? to give to your son so he can go to a fancy private school!?!??! maybe im wrong and shes not rich. either way, shes exploiting me. i wouldnt have sued her. cuz shes old.
lemme go play some killer instinct to vent this frustration.
lets go fulgore.
man one of these days imma run from the police, just so i can provoke them to DO SOMETHING while theyre on the job and getting paid besides sitting and chilling in their fancy crown vics and clocking people for going 2 miles over the speed limit. bastards. no really, they dont do anything but sit on the side of the highway and give ppl tickets. go stop violence, stop the drug traffic, do something else besides exploiting other ppl's misfortunes. SMH
yes, i just got back from the court house after a near accident and death experience (another story) trying to fight my ticket. FIRST OF ALL, they had my name wrong on the citation. i tried that card but the judge lady was like, well ur last name is correct, so its all good. nice excuse eh, not my fault the officer can't spell my friggin name. technically i dunno who the hell HAMMOND HAI is...
to make a long story short, even though i had the entire court room laughing at my pretty elaborate excuse for speeding, she didnt drop it. instead she took it down to 1 point. SOOOO, that means that my 18 months are gonna start over again!!! bastards.
and soon i got the court thing for the old geezer lady thats sueing me after half a year. 10,000 dollars, mashaAllah. you old rich lady, what do you need all that money for!?!??!?!?!??!? to give to your son so he can go to a fancy private school!?!??! maybe im wrong and shes not rich. either way, shes exploiting me. i wouldnt have sued her. cuz shes old.
lemme go play some killer instinct to vent this frustration.
lets go fulgore.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
reminiscing on the past times
salaamu alaikum
ahh today i went and beat killer instinct and super street fighter 2 on Super Nintendo. i used to play those games like a fiend. i swear, me and my boy would ditch taraweeh to come and play video games for hours n hours. good times.
that was back when i had enough sleep that i could wake up at 7 AM automatically and watch sonic or ronin warriors or something. man im laggin on sleep, and its bad. cuz its not the "no sleep in 3 days" type of thing, its the "too little sleep over the course of about 2 weeks now", and i know its hittin me now cuz the other day, while driving, i got spots in my vision. it looked like how when rain hits the windshield, cept there was no rain or water, and it didnt happen on my windshield, just random spots in my vision and then they disappeared. 3 of em. pop pop pop, and then gone.
and today, during taraweeh, all of a sudden i couldn't feel my legs. my entire lower body became "detached" and i was having an outer body experience. im serious, i could feel my (upper) body still while it was reading quran (im still reading while this whole bizarre thing is happening) and it feels like "I" am spinning slowly in circles, away from my body, and outside of it. then the fan came around towards my body and blew air at me, and i almost stumbled. i was like whoa man, lemme hurry up and go into ruku so i can feel my legs again.
never happened to me before in my life man. and now imma go and do my homework for tomorrow.
ahh today i went and beat killer instinct and super street fighter 2 on Super Nintendo. i used to play those games like a fiend. i swear, me and my boy would ditch taraweeh to come and play video games for hours n hours. good times.
that was back when i had enough sleep that i could wake up at 7 AM automatically and watch sonic or ronin warriors or something. man im laggin on sleep, and its bad. cuz its not the "no sleep in 3 days" type of thing, its the "too little sleep over the course of about 2 weeks now", and i know its hittin me now cuz the other day, while driving, i got spots in my vision. it looked like how when rain hits the windshield, cept there was no rain or water, and it didnt happen on my windshield, just random spots in my vision and then they disappeared. 3 of em. pop pop pop, and then gone.
and today, during taraweeh, all of a sudden i couldn't feel my legs. my entire lower body became "detached" and i was having an outer body experience. im serious, i could feel my (upper) body still while it was reading quran (im still reading while this whole bizarre thing is happening) and it feels like "I" am spinning slowly in circles, away from my body, and outside of it. then the fan came around towards my body and blew air at me, and i almost stumbled. i was like whoa man, lemme hurry up and go into ruku so i can feel my legs again.
never happened to me before in my life man. and now imma go and do my homework for tomorrow.
Friday, October 14, 2005
salaamu alaikum
man im so screwed today. thanks to a certain classmate of mine, yesterday i got no sleep, "studying" for our philo discussion today. ya right. just killed brain cells trynna argue with him. and this morning? no suhoor. why? first 100 cars at the shell on 40 today got free gas. starting at 5AM, i was waiting in line for an hour. suhoor time is over, and i drive out of there with 20 bucks of free gas. was it worth it? i dunno
i just woke up from about 45 minutes of sleep, which is the worst, and i dunno if i should be operating machinery. oh well, time to go ahead and try.
man im so screwed today. thanks to a certain classmate of mine, yesterday i got no sleep, "studying" for our philo discussion today. ya right. just killed brain cells trynna argue with him. and this morning? no suhoor. why? first 100 cars at the shell on 40 today got free gas. starting at 5AM, i was waiting in line for an hour. suhoor time is over, and i drive out of there with 20 bucks of free gas. was it worth it? i dunno
i just woke up from about 45 minutes of sleep, which is the worst, and i dunno if i should be operating machinery. oh well, time to go ahead and try.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
salaamu alaikum
my plan failed. :-(
i read pretty slow today, hoping that the same uncles that were talkin to me yesterday bout going too fast would get tired of standing the whole time and ask me to speed up a lil bit. after 4 rakahs i heard them talking in the back, saying SOMEthing about the length of the rakahs, but then they just said that it was a good pace. something something something. we only finished like maybe 10 minutes later than usual too. i guess thats just how its gonna be now. its cool with me, the only thing that semi-not-even-really bothers me is that they got me.
yup, they got me.
my plan failed. :-(
i read pretty slow today, hoping that the same uncles that were talkin to me yesterday bout going too fast would get tired of standing the whole time and ask me to speed up a lil bit. after 4 rakahs i heard them talking in the back, saying SOMEthing about the length of the rakahs, but then they just said that it was a good pace. something something something. we only finished like maybe 10 minutes later than usual too. i guess thats just how its gonna be now. its cool with me, the only thing that semi-not-even-really bothers me is that they got me.
yup, they got me.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
salaamu alaikum
so today after Taraweeh, some dude kinda "went off" on me in a milder sense tho, about how i should slow down my recitation and how im reading too fast and stuff. first of all, i try to read as fast as i can WITH ALL the tajweed rules INTACT. second of all, what am I supposed to do? they only give me 12 raka'at, and i gotta read the wholeJUZ and a HALF in those 12. the first 8 they give to the students of their sunday school, and they read random short surahs from random places, and then when theyre done, then i get to lead the remaining 12.
honestly, i dont care. if they want me to read slower, ILL READ SLOWER. the ONLY reason i try to read fast is for THEIR sake, because the Raka's are ridiculously long even with the speed im reciting at. if they want me to read slower, they better be prepared for some reallllllllly long raka's. when i told them this, they were like you don't even have to read a juz and a half! just read a QUARTER!? its not fard to finish the quran! thats just desi mentality.
after that i stopped talking and just gave them the stoneface. -_-
i remember they told me that last year when they first met me. i was like yo, im finishing the quran. no its not cuz i think its fard. but because its a goal for ME. it superglues my quran back together.
on a sidenote: im on a ramadan high.
so today after Taraweeh, some dude kinda "went off" on me in a milder sense tho, about how i should slow down my recitation and how im reading too fast and stuff. first of all, i try to read as fast as i can WITH ALL the tajweed rules INTACT. second of all, what am I supposed to do? they only give me 12 raka'at, and i gotta read the wholeJUZ and a HALF in those 12. the first 8 they give to the students of their sunday school, and they read random short surahs from random places, and then when theyre done, then i get to lead the remaining 12.
honestly, i dont care. if they want me to read slower, ILL READ SLOWER. the ONLY reason i try to read fast is for THEIR sake, because the Raka's are ridiculously long even with the speed im reciting at. if they want me to read slower, they better be prepared for some reallllllllly long raka's. when i told them this, they were like you don't even have to read a juz and a half! just read a QUARTER!? its not fard to finish the quran! thats just desi mentality.
after that i stopped talking and just gave them the stoneface. -_-
i remember they told me that last year when they first met me. i was like yo, im finishing the quran. no its not cuz i think its fard. but because its a goal for ME. it superglues my quran back together.
on a sidenote: im on a ramadan high.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
salaamu alaikum :D
ahh, always good and bad.
good news: i just got a whole rack of 50$ gas cards, so I won't have to worry bout paying for gas for a while.
bad news: the old lady involved in my accident from a while back finally decides she wants to sue me.
Ya Allah, please correct my affairs in the best of ways. Ameen.
ahh, always good and bad.
good news: i just got a whole rack of 50$ gas cards, so I won't have to worry bout paying for gas for a while.
bad news: the old lady involved in my accident from a while back finally decides she wants to sue me.
Ya Allah, please correct my affairs in the best of ways. Ameen.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Salaamu Alaikum
posted this on Islamica just now:
Assalaamu Alaikum
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
Al Hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Aalameen.
Islamicans, I need your help in refining this argument. Basically the other day in my philosophy class, the professor was talking about how God is associated with certain attributes, such as All-Good, All-Powerful, All-Knowing. And he was like, even if you could prove the existence of some diety out there, how would you prove that he has such qualities? Thing is, he uses Christianity as an example of ridiculous claims a lot, and sometimes he'll talk about Judaism, and it looks like he actually knows some stuff about both. But he has not mentioned Islam yet, and I'm beginning to think that he hasn't studied or looked into Islam yet. Either way, I wanted to form an argument about the existance of God along with His attributes by using the Quran:
Before I start, I just wanna say that these are numbered cuz thats the order. Until I establish each one, I would not go to the next one, because it would circle back to an earlier point. I'm sure everybody knew that.
1. First thing I would establish is that the Prophet Muhammad SAW was an unlettered man, and maybe throw in a bit about his character. But really establishing that he was no philosopher or anything like that; he could neither read nor write. I wouldn't go past this issue until it was established and agreed upon, and for that I'd need outside historical sources. Where would I find those?
2. The Arabs lived in an isolated society. They were not advanced in their thinking, but were sinking into ignorance and vice. Again, outside historical proofs would be needed so these things can be established. Basically establish the scenario in which Islam popped off.
3. The Quran: How it has been unchanged for 1400 years. How the Prophet could not have written it. How his companions could not have got together and written it. How the Muslims in later times could not have slowly completed it, adding things here and there. How it is memorized and preserved.
4. Because it is unchanged and original, then discuss its miracles such as the prophecies that have came true. The scientific facts it provides that have only recently been discovered. The challenge that it has issued and which still remains today.
Thus, ESTABLISHING the legitimacy of the Quran, and proving it could NOT have been written by Men. Now here, I'm kinda confused as to how to make the leap from "Not Man Made" to "Divinely Revealed by God". The line of logic I was planning on using was like this:
Everything that can be proved true or false in the Quran, (such as the prophecies, scientific facts) have been proven true, and none have been proven false. So as for the things that cannot be scientifically TESTED, like God being Allah, Allah being One, His Attributes, it would be unfair/unethical/dishonest (dunno the correct word that I'm trying to use) to say that these parts are FALSE based on mere POSSIBILITY. Because if everything else in the book is true, why say these parts are false without proof? (Makes sense in my head.)
SO THUS:
5. Since the Quran is true, the Quran claims that there is a God, and that God is Allah, and Allah has such and such attributes.
I asked a brother bout this logic and if it was flawed, and he said yes it was. I'm not sure how exactly, so maybe somebody can explain. InshaAllah, I'm hoping you guys can help me with a few things.
1. The argument. Flaws. Help me refine it. Anything at all.
2. The Proofs. HOW do I ESTABLISH beyond argument that the Prophet SAW was unlettered. And the Arabs lived in such a society. And that the Quran has been unchanged. I can't use religious proofs like the Hadith for the Prophet's life. I would need outside sources. Same for the Arab lifestyle. What's good Islamica?
WHATS GOOD!?!?!??
Oh, and try and keep it simple for me, please. I'm really pretty stupid, so if you decide to go Russell status on me, I'm gonna hafto skip your post.
Jazaakumullahu Khairan.
posted this on Islamica just now:
Assalaamu Alaikum
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
Al Hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Aalameen.
Islamicans, I need your help in refining this argument. Basically the other day in my philosophy class, the professor was talking about how God is associated with certain attributes, such as All-Good, All-Powerful, All-Knowing. And he was like, even if you could prove the existence of some diety out there, how would you prove that he has such qualities? Thing is, he uses Christianity as an example of ridiculous claims a lot, and sometimes he'll talk about Judaism, and it looks like he actually knows some stuff about both. But he has not mentioned Islam yet, and I'm beginning to think that he hasn't studied or looked into Islam yet. Either way, I wanted to form an argument about the existance of God along with His attributes by using the Quran:
Before I start, I just wanna say that these are numbered cuz thats the order. Until I establish each one, I would not go to the next one, because it would circle back to an earlier point. I'm sure everybody knew that.
1. First thing I would establish is that the Prophet Muhammad SAW was an unlettered man, and maybe throw in a bit about his character. But really establishing that he was no philosopher or anything like that; he could neither read nor write. I wouldn't go past this issue until it was established and agreed upon, and for that I'd need outside historical sources. Where would I find those?
2. The Arabs lived in an isolated society. They were not advanced in their thinking, but were sinking into ignorance and vice. Again, outside historical proofs would be needed so these things can be established. Basically establish the scenario in which Islam popped off.
3. The Quran: How it has been unchanged for 1400 years. How the Prophet could not have written it. How his companions could not have got together and written it. How the Muslims in later times could not have slowly completed it, adding things here and there. How it is memorized and preserved.
4. Because it is unchanged and original, then discuss its miracles such as the prophecies that have came true. The scientific facts it provides that have only recently been discovered. The challenge that it has issued and which still remains today.
Thus, ESTABLISHING the legitimacy of the Quran, and proving it could NOT have been written by Men. Now here, I'm kinda confused as to how to make the leap from "Not Man Made" to "Divinely Revealed by God". The line of logic I was planning on using was like this:
Everything that can be proved true or false in the Quran, (such as the prophecies, scientific facts) have been proven true, and none have been proven false. So as for the things that cannot be scientifically TESTED, like God being Allah, Allah being One, His Attributes, it would be unfair/unethical/dishonest (dunno the correct word that I'm trying to use) to say that these parts are FALSE based on mere POSSIBILITY. Because if everything else in the book is true, why say these parts are false without proof? (Makes sense in my head.)
SO THUS:
5. Since the Quran is true, the Quran claims that there is a God, and that God is Allah, and Allah has such and such attributes.
I asked a brother bout this logic and if it was flawed, and he said yes it was. I'm not sure how exactly, so maybe somebody can explain. InshaAllah, I'm hoping you guys can help me with a few things.
1. The argument. Flaws. Help me refine it. Anything at all.
2. The Proofs. HOW do I ESTABLISH beyond argument that the Prophet SAW was unlettered. And the Arabs lived in such a society. And that the Quran has been unchanged. I can't use religious proofs like the Hadith for the Prophet's life. I would need outside sources. Same for the Arab lifestyle. What's good Islamica?
WHATS GOOD!?!?!??
Oh, and try and keep it simple for me, please. I'm really pretty stupid, so if you decide to go Russell status on me, I'm gonna hafto skip your post.
Jazaakumullahu Khairan.
Monday, October 03, 2005
salaamu alaikum
so since the maxima broke down on me (transmission died) we had it towed from the highway where it left us stranded to some gas station. after finding out how much a new tranny plus labor would cost, (starting from a G and going up) we decided we wouldn't bother with it, and its going to the junk yard. so im like, hell no im not donating the speakers to a junkyard so some random fiend can go and pick em for 10 bones. so me and a friend go to the gas station to take out the nice, Pioneer, aftermarket speakers (which i never really got to use cuz i never installed a tape deck OR CD player after the first one got stolen). so ive opened up the door panel before to fix the busted window motor, so i know where the door speakers are. i take those out easily. almost there.
the ones in the back however, i have absolutely no idea how to take out. you can see them if you open the trunk - thats where the wires all all hooked up - but theyre screwed in from the top. and when you go from inside to somehow remove the top, its like impossible. it just wasnt happening. so my friend has the ingenius idea to "take out the back windshield" so we have more room to work with. so he unscrews some random screws n stuff, and then starts peeling away at the rubber lining surrounding the glass. he takes a flathead and tries to prop the windshield up. meanwhile, im still trynna figure out how to remove the top without using an axe or something. all i hear is BOOOM, like somebody juss busted a cap into the windshield, and this big piece of glass falls on me and the place im workin. i jump back, look up and theres a huge hole in the glass, and the rest of it is just splintering and getting ready to shatter. you can see the lines snake thru the wholllle thing, and you can hear the tiny cackles and cracking.
woohoo. whats done is done. i was actually thinking about maybe selling the car for parts, like you know, get 100 or 200 bucks off the vehicle, but now i was juss like whatever, this thing is junk. oh and we were getting raped by mosquitos this whole time too, and since the doors were open, im pretty sure they found a whole lot of new places to live. anyways, so he busts out his phone that has a slick lil recording camera thing, and records us taking screwdrivers and just busting thru the rest of the glass, then we proceed to rip apart the top thats denying us access to the speakers, while shards of glass are falling all over us and our hands are getting lil tiny cuts everywhere.
in the end, we did remove the speakers safely. alhamdulillah. :D
so since the maxima broke down on me (transmission died) we had it towed from the highway where it left us stranded to some gas station. after finding out how much a new tranny plus labor would cost, (starting from a G and going up) we decided we wouldn't bother with it, and its going to the junk yard. so im like, hell no im not donating the speakers to a junkyard so some random fiend can go and pick em for 10 bones. so me and a friend go to the gas station to take out the nice, Pioneer, aftermarket speakers (which i never really got to use cuz i never installed a tape deck OR CD player after the first one got stolen). so ive opened up the door panel before to fix the busted window motor, so i know where the door speakers are. i take those out easily. almost there.
the ones in the back however, i have absolutely no idea how to take out. you can see them if you open the trunk - thats where the wires all all hooked up - but theyre screwed in from the top. and when you go from inside to somehow remove the top, its like impossible. it just wasnt happening. so my friend has the ingenius idea to "take out the back windshield" so we have more room to work with. so he unscrews some random screws n stuff, and then starts peeling away at the rubber lining surrounding the glass. he takes a flathead and tries to prop the windshield up. meanwhile, im still trynna figure out how to remove the top without using an axe or something. all i hear is BOOOM, like somebody juss busted a cap into the windshield, and this big piece of glass falls on me and the place im workin. i jump back, look up and theres a huge hole in the glass, and the rest of it is just splintering and getting ready to shatter. you can see the lines snake thru the wholllle thing, and you can hear the tiny cackles and cracking.
woohoo. whats done is done. i was actually thinking about maybe selling the car for parts, like you know, get 100 or 200 bucks off the vehicle, but now i was juss like whatever, this thing is junk. oh and we were getting raped by mosquitos this whole time too, and since the doors were open, im pretty sure they found a whole lot of new places to live. anyways, so he busts out his phone that has a slick lil recording camera thing, and records us taking screwdrivers and just busting thru the rest of the glass, then we proceed to rip apart the top thats denying us access to the speakers, while shards of glass are falling all over us and our hands are getting lil tiny cuts everywhere.
in the end, we did remove the speakers safely. alhamdulillah. :D
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
salaamu alaikum
"pocket qurans are cool but how do you manage to carry it around so taht it doesnt suffer any disrespect? loosely being thrown around, etC? isnt it kinda hard? ive been wanting to bring a quraan with me to school but its semi risky i feel. "
i used to have the same dilemma. how to carry it around without disrespecting it? i was always taught to not even hold the quran like any other book, and hold it up to my chest with my right hand, just for respect. for pocket qurans tho, its all gravy if you got the upper shirt pockets, as long as you dont go in the bathroom n stuff, but i dont always rock shirts with pockets up there. i usually dont actually. so for me, its a matter of necessity. i havent been reviewing lately, at all, and ramadan is less than a week away. i dont put the quran in my bookbag cuz that thing gets thrown around, put on the ground, etc. not in my back pocket cuz id sit on it. i do put it in my regular side pocket, and i try to take as much care of it as possible.
an extreme example is the super glorified, glitterified, shrined Qurans that adorn the top of people's shelves, but theyre never taken down. never read through even once. They just collect dust. i think thats the greatest disrespect. you see a student of quran's Mus'haf, and you can tell how many juz they know. Because half the pages will be in perfect shape, and then when it gets near the end, the pages are ripped, half coming out, SWOLLEN. because these pages are sifted through everyday, all the time. they are read, all the time. the Quran is not just the book, but the words.
WALLAHI, i'm not any more attached to the quran than anybody else. and of all people, I should be. but i'm not. during the time of the sahaba, if you would walk through the streets at nighttime, the houses would be radiating with the recitation of Quran, during tahajjud hours. like the buzzing of bees. i remember a brother gave a small talk on how the sahaba would review their quran. they would have a set amount they would read every NIGHT, and finish every week. this is only how they would review. recitation was their passtime, their hobby. Imam Shafii read the quran like six times in a day JUST to find an ayah that was proof for Qiyas. these people lived the quran. and today, we can barely read a few ayat besides what we read in prayer without feeling tired.
yea, so i kinda went off on a tangent. it wasnt aimed at anybody but me though. i gotta say this stuff sometimes so i can get affected too. but back to the topic, i need this pocket quran to review. i keep it in my pocket, and even though thats not the best place, its better than me not reading at all. especially during ramadan.
ramadan: here comes the challenges i was talking about earlier. i cant refuse challenges. basically, a brother came up to me last night at isha, and told me to finish taraweeh in annapolis early. like the 21st or something. then come back to ISB, and do a late session taraweeh for the cats who are gonna be staying in I'tikaaf. last year, this one brother did that. his taraweeh would be after the main taraweeh ended, starting at like 11:00 and ending around 1 or 2. but he read 5 juz the first night. 3 the second. etc. finished in 10 days.
yall are prolly like why? basically, even though it isnt required, people wanna hear the entire quran during Ramadan. but they also wanna go masjid hopping and hear different ppl. different masajid go at different paces. so if they leave one night to go to a different place, and they come back, they might miss a small portion, because the two jama'ahs might be at different places. so they just wanna finish the quran, so then they can go around and go to any taraweeh they want. something like that. cept this is not gonna be in the beginning, but at the end. so its more for the ppl of i'tikaaf.
but dude asked me to do that. finish in annapolis, then come to ISB and do these late night sessions and finish again in a few days for the brothers in i'tikaaf. they will listen to an entire quran. they wont be up at night gossiping like little girls (it happens). and itll be a form of tahajjud. and itll only help me as well. i was like hey
i'm game.
i gotta talk to my teacher about it today so he can talk to the annapolis ppl and tell them when im finishing n stuff. but about challenges, theyre fun. occasionally, i like pushing myself. (not in school tho, god forbid 0_0) its the priceless feeling of adrenaline as youre scrambling to make ends meet, get ready, be ready, and make it thru, and then relaxing afterwards. the best time of the day during ramadan is RIGHT after you finish witr. like yessss, i actually made it thru THIS juz! its all easy from here. then the next morning youre worried bout that night.
haha, funny how i started this off as a comment to the previous post and it turned into this. i got class in 20 mins. so imma end this off riiiiight here.
walaikum assalaam
EDIT: i just read thru this, and i realize how incoherent this whole thing was. s-m-h.
"pocket qurans are cool but how do you manage to carry it around so taht it doesnt suffer any disrespect? loosely being thrown around, etC? isnt it kinda hard? ive been wanting to bring a quraan with me to school but its semi risky i feel. "
i used to have the same dilemma. how to carry it around without disrespecting it? i was always taught to not even hold the quran like any other book, and hold it up to my chest with my right hand, just for respect. for pocket qurans tho, its all gravy if you got the upper shirt pockets, as long as you dont go in the bathroom n stuff, but i dont always rock shirts with pockets up there. i usually dont actually. so for me, its a matter of necessity. i havent been reviewing lately, at all, and ramadan is less than a week away. i dont put the quran in my bookbag cuz that thing gets thrown around, put on the ground, etc. not in my back pocket cuz id sit on it. i do put it in my regular side pocket, and i try to take as much care of it as possible.
an extreme example is the super glorified, glitterified, shrined Qurans that adorn the top of people's shelves, but theyre never taken down. never read through even once. They just collect dust. i think thats the greatest disrespect. you see a student of quran's Mus'haf, and you can tell how many juz they know. Because half the pages will be in perfect shape, and then when it gets near the end, the pages are ripped, half coming out, SWOLLEN. because these pages are sifted through everyday, all the time. they are read, all the time. the Quran is not just the book, but the words.
WALLAHI, i'm not any more attached to the quran than anybody else. and of all people, I should be. but i'm not. during the time of the sahaba, if you would walk through the streets at nighttime, the houses would be radiating with the recitation of Quran, during tahajjud hours. like the buzzing of bees. i remember a brother gave a small talk on how the sahaba would review their quran. they would have a set amount they would read every NIGHT, and finish every week. this is only how they would review. recitation was their passtime, their hobby. Imam Shafii read the quran like six times in a day JUST to find an ayah that was proof for Qiyas. these people lived the quran. and today, we can barely read a few ayat besides what we read in prayer without feeling tired.
yea, so i kinda went off on a tangent. it wasnt aimed at anybody but me though. i gotta say this stuff sometimes so i can get affected too. but back to the topic, i need this pocket quran to review. i keep it in my pocket, and even though thats not the best place, its better than me not reading at all. especially during ramadan.
ramadan: here comes the challenges i was talking about earlier. i cant refuse challenges. basically, a brother came up to me last night at isha, and told me to finish taraweeh in annapolis early. like the 21st or something. then come back to ISB, and do a late session taraweeh for the cats who are gonna be staying in I'tikaaf. last year, this one brother did that. his taraweeh would be after the main taraweeh ended, starting at like 11:00 and ending around 1 or 2. but he read 5 juz the first night. 3 the second. etc. finished in 10 days.
yall are prolly like why? basically, even though it isnt required, people wanna hear the entire quran during Ramadan. but they also wanna go masjid hopping and hear different ppl. different masajid go at different paces. so if they leave one night to go to a different place, and they come back, they might miss a small portion, because the two jama'ahs might be at different places. so they just wanna finish the quran, so then they can go around and go to any taraweeh they want. something like that. cept this is not gonna be in the beginning, but at the end. so its more for the ppl of i'tikaaf.
but dude asked me to do that. finish in annapolis, then come to ISB and do these late night sessions and finish again in a few days for the brothers in i'tikaaf. they will listen to an entire quran. they wont be up at night gossiping like little girls (it happens). and itll be a form of tahajjud. and itll only help me as well. i was like hey
i'm game.
i gotta talk to my teacher about it today so he can talk to the annapolis ppl and tell them when im finishing n stuff. but about challenges, theyre fun. occasionally, i like pushing myself. (not in school tho, god forbid 0_0) its the priceless feeling of adrenaline as youre scrambling to make ends meet, get ready, be ready, and make it thru, and then relaxing afterwards. the best time of the day during ramadan is RIGHT after you finish witr. like yessss, i actually made it thru THIS juz! its all easy from here. then the next morning youre worried bout that night.
haha, funny how i started this off as a comment to the previous post and it turned into this. i got class in 20 mins. so imma end this off riiiiight here.
walaikum assalaam
EDIT: i just read thru this, and i realize how incoherent this whole thing was. s-m-h.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
salaamu alaikum
i was actually gonna come in here and post something real. about challenges that i got presented with today. but i dont feel it right now. it would only be half hearted. ive been staring at this screen for maybe half an hour already. completely lost my appetite for this.
i did get a pocket 15 liner (quran) today. but that wudda been part of the stuff i was going to talk about.
its whatever.
Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah.
i was actually gonna come in here and post something real. about challenges that i got presented with today. but i dont feel it right now. it would only be half hearted. ive been staring at this screen for maybe half an hour already. completely lost my appetite for this.
i did get a pocket 15 liner (quran) today. but that wudda been part of the stuff i was going to talk about.
its whatever.
Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
salaamu alaikum
ahh back from a full day of classes. today was interesting. walking out after my health class was done, some dudes sitting down with a bunch of his homies, sees me and hes like, "Yo's got the bin laden man, i want that!" im walkin past him and look at him like the bin laden? hes like yeah. im like grow it out and itll come son. itll come.
its the best tho when you find out that some of these ppl are muslim cuz when they see you, theyll stop and be like salaamu alaikum. and im like hey, mA. Walaikum assalaam.
greeting a fellow muslim is like a breath of fresh air.
"spread salaam amongst yourselves."
ahh back from a full day of classes. today was interesting. walking out after my health class was done, some dudes sitting down with a bunch of his homies, sees me and hes like, "Yo's got the bin laden man, i want that!" im walkin past him and look at him like the bin laden? hes like yeah. im like grow it out and itll come son. itll come.
its the best tho when you find out that some of these ppl are muslim cuz when they see you, theyll stop and be like salaamu alaikum. and im like hey, mA. Walaikum assalaam.
greeting a fellow muslim is like a breath of fresh air.
"spread salaam amongst yourselves."
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
salaamu alaikum
eating sheermal with coco roos cereal milk and it tastes good. i had my first two tests in health and i think i did pretty good on both, alhamdulillah. and psychology is getting more interesting, and is really easy. philosophy is starting next monday, and ive heard from a number of people that my professor is really easy. its physics thats killing me. first test is tomorrow, thursday. and if i were to take it right now this instant, i would get a big fat 0. yousaf, if i find you at the masjid today, prepare for some chai and biscuits, cuz you're gonna help me out. if i still dont do well, this is the first class ive contemplated dropping for later. and i really might have to. dropping the class has been a very real option for me for another reason too. and thats the fact that im not rushing college anymore, like i had planned before. originally, my plan was to straight overload all my semesters and get an AA by the summer, and then continue on and finish college as soon as possible, maybe another year and a half (this plan had absolutely no motive behind it, really.... >_> )
but now, thats off. not because i lost the interest, or because it was a phase and it burned out and passed over, but because something came knocking at my door. before, students would travel across entire countries on foot or horseback, just to attain a single hadith or ask a question. today we have mountains of knowledge at our finger tips, and easy and quick accessibility to traditional schools overseas, but we don't reach out and take it. myself included. i went to a madrassa, but i didnt go overseas to become an aalim. ive been talked to so many times by so many people, everybody with a different opinion on what i should do. but all of them agree and see this one thing in me, and that is me not living up to my potential and settling for something so much less. and for me, its like, "if only these people knew how incapable and STUPID i really am, they wouldn't bother me."
to not get into a rant, lets just say ive wasted a couple of years, which goes back to the reason why i wanted to overload and finish up college in 2 some years. but now ive got an oppurtunity. ISB is starting a full time aalim program at Al-Rahmah, taught by qualified teachers, the same syllabus used in South Africa, with the certificate/degree and everything. it started off with the hifdh school, and now its this. how far away do i live from ISB? about 30 seconds if i walk BACKWARDS. if i decided to let this oppurtunity pass me by, i would not just be guilty of not reaching out and grabbing this blessing Allah is bestowing upon the community, but it would almost be as if i were running away from it. My teacher always taught me to make this duah: Ya Allah, accept me for Your deen.
can i handle it? im pumped already. cant wait for the semester to be over.
YA ALLAH, PLEASE MAKE ME AMONG THOSE WHOM YOU CHOOSE TO LEARN THIS DEEN AND IMPLEMENT IT IN THEIR EVERYDAY LIVES...
Ameen!
eating sheermal with coco roos cereal milk and it tastes good. i had my first two tests in health and i think i did pretty good on both, alhamdulillah. and psychology is getting more interesting, and is really easy. philosophy is starting next monday, and ive heard from a number of people that my professor is really easy. its physics thats killing me. first test is tomorrow, thursday. and if i were to take it right now this instant, i would get a big fat 0. yousaf, if i find you at the masjid today, prepare for some chai and biscuits, cuz you're gonna help me out. if i still dont do well, this is the first class ive contemplated dropping for later. and i really might have to. dropping the class has been a very real option for me for another reason too. and thats the fact that im not rushing college anymore, like i had planned before. originally, my plan was to straight overload all my semesters and get an AA by the summer, and then continue on and finish college as soon as possible, maybe another year and a half (this plan had absolutely no motive behind it, really.... >_> )
but now, thats off. not because i lost the interest, or because it was a phase and it burned out and passed over, but because something came knocking at my door. before, students would travel across entire countries on foot or horseback, just to attain a single hadith or ask a question. today we have mountains of knowledge at our finger tips, and easy and quick accessibility to traditional schools overseas, but we don't reach out and take it. myself included. i went to a madrassa, but i didnt go overseas to become an aalim. ive been talked to so many times by so many people, everybody with a different opinion on what i should do. but all of them agree and see this one thing in me, and that is me not living up to my potential and settling for something so much less. and for me, its like, "if only these people knew how incapable and STUPID i really am, they wouldn't bother me."
to not get into a rant, lets just say ive wasted a couple of years, which goes back to the reason why i wanted to overload and finish up college in 2 some years. but now ive got an oppurtunity. ISB is starting a full time aalim program at Al-Rahmah, taught by qualified teachers, the same syllabus used in South Africa, with the certificate/degree and everything. it started off with the hifdh school, and now its this. how far away do i live from ISB? about 30 seconds if i walk BACKWARDS. if i decided to let this oppurtunity pass me by, i would not just be guilty of not reaching out and grabbing this blessing Allah is bestowing upon the community, but it would almost be as if i were running away from it. My teacher always taught me to make this duah: Ya Allah, accept me for Your deen.
can i handle it? im pumped already. cant wait for the semester to be over.
YA ALLAH, PLEASE MAKE ME AMONG THOSE WHOM YOU CHOOSE TO LEARN THIS DEEN AND IMPLEMENT IT IN THEIR EVERYDAY LIVES...
Ameen!
Sunday, September 11, 2005
salaamu alaikum
im back home, watching the ravens vs. colts game. theyre losing, and its annoying. boller just got hurt, and wright is doing his thing, boutta get us a touchdown iA. anyways, im sore as i dunno what. went to the mas-camp and played a good game of football. i matched up against hasan, and we were basically schooling each other all game long. being sore is a good feeling tho, i think. because you know that you're muscles broke down, and they're going to rebuild stronger. so it hurts, but its a good pain.
i performed at the camp. and it went well. i wasnt sure i was gonna make it back on time. because on saturday, i was booked at ISB to recite for the fundraiser, and they had asked me like 4 months ago, so there was absolutely no way i could cancel, and if i was gonna cancel anything, it would have been going to the camp. so i left early, got to ISB on time. chilled, ate, prayed Maghrib, recited, and then dipped and went back to the camp. i got there just in time for the entertainment session, where hasan and them did our little skit from MIST 03. meanwhile, i was finishing up my poem. i got up there and performed, and it went good. i started, and all of sudden i had all this energy in my voice. i might have been going too fast, i dunno, but i definitely had the flow down. also, i went and edited the entry where I posted the poem and made it the version that I recited at the camp.
(NEWS: STOVER JUST MISSED HIS THIRD FIELD GOAL OF THE GAME. 16 YEAR VETERAN MY FOOT!)
=====================
(paraphrased from the after fajr/dhuhr (bad memory) khatirah)
Imam Ahmed ibn Hanbal was sitting in a gathering with his students and a man came up to him and complained that they were not getting any rain, and the drought was severely trying the people. Imam Ahmed said, "istaghfirillah", Seek forgiveness from Allah. The man left.
Another man came up, and compained how he was very poor. Imam Ahmed said, "istaghfirillah", Seek forgiveness from Allah. The man left.
Another man came up, and said that his wife was barren and could not have children. Imam Ahmed said, "istaghfirillah", Seek forgiveness from Allah. And the man left. One of the students in the gathering who was listening to all this got up and asked the Imam, all three of these people came up to you asking you different questions. And for each you said, Make istighfaar? Don't you have anything else?
And so Imam Ahmed recited these verses:
يُرْسِلِ السَّمَاء عَلَيْكُم مِّدْرَارًا
'He will send rain to you in abundance;
وَيُمْدِدْكُمْ بِأَمْوَالٍوَبَنِينَ وَيَجْعَل لَّكُمْ جَنَّاتٍ وَيَجْعَل لَّكُمْ أَنْهَارًا
'And give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers.' "
Simply by seeking forgiveness from Allah, something the Prophet SAW used to do at LEAST 100 times a day, Allah promises all this.
May Allah make us among those who keep their tongues wet with the rememberence of Him. Ameen.
im back home, watching the ravens vs. colts game. theyre losing, and its annoying. boller just got hurt, and wright is doing his thing, boutta get us a touchdown iA. anyways, im sore as i dunno what. went to the mas-camp and played a good game of football. i matched up against hasan, and we were basically schooling each other all game long. being sore is a good feeling tho, i think. because you know that you're muscles broke down, and they're going to rebuild stronger. so it hurts, but its a good pain.
i performed at the camp. and it went well. i wasnt sure i was gonna make it back on time. because on saturday, i was booked at ISB to recite for the fundraiser, and they had asked me like 4 months ago, so there was absolutely no way i could cancel, and if i was gonna cancel anything, it would have been going to the camp. so i left early, got to ISB on time. chilled, ate, prayed Maghrib, recited, and then dipped and went back to the camp. i got there just in time for the entertainment session, where hasan and them did our little skit from MIST 03. meanwhile, i was finishing up my poem. i got up there and performed, and it went good. i started, and all of sudden i had all this energy in my voice. i might have been going too fast, i dunno, but i definitely had the flow down. also, i went and edited the entry where I posted the poem and made it the version that I recited at the camp.
(NEWS: STOVER JUST MISSED HIS THIRD FIELD GOAL OF THE GAME. 16 YEAR VETERAN MY FOOT!)
=====================
(paraphrased from the after fajr/dhuhr (bad memory) khatirah)
Imam Ahmed ibn Hanbal was sitting in a gathering with his students and a man came up to him and complained that they were not getting any rain, and the drought was severely trying the people. Imam Ahmed said, "istaghfirillah", Seek forgiveness from Allah. The man left.
Another man came up, and compained how he was very poor. Imam Ahmed said, "istaghfirillah", Seek forgiveness from Allah. The man left.
Another man came up, and said that his wife was barren and could not have children. Imam Ahmed said, "istaghfirillah", Seek forgiveness from Allah. And the man left. One of the students in the gathering who was listening to all this got up and asked the Imam, all three of these people came up to you asking you different questions. And for each you said, Make istighfaar? Don't you have anything else?
And so Imam Ahmed recited these verses:
فَقُلْتُ اسْتَغْفِرُوا رَبَّكُمْ إِنَّهُ كَانَ غَفَّارًا
"I said (to them): 'Ask forgiveness from your Lord; Verily, He is Oft-Forgiving;يُرْسِلِ السَّمَاء عَلَيْكُم مِّدْرَارًا
'He will send rain to you in abundance;
وَيُمْدِدْكُمْ بِأَمْوَالٍوَبَنِينَ وَيَجْعَل لَّكُمْ جَنَّاتٍ وَيَجْعَل لَّكُمْ أَنْهَارًا
'And give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers.' "
Simply by seeking forgiveness from Allah, something the Prophet SAW used to do at LEAST 100 times a day, Allah promises all this.
May Allah make us among those who keep their tongues wet with the rememberence of Him. Ameen.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
salaamu alaikum
so much. but for now, im trying to finish up a poem that I have to perform tomorrow at the mas-camp. i dont know why i said yes to this, but now its late night, and I have yet to finish up my poem....and it seems to keep getting longer and longer, and it doesn't want to finish. or i dont know how to finish.
here it is so far:
the mind is a terrible thing to waste
but most wait and waste their time
in supposed liesure, while we find
that most minds, and these minds both
continue to wither and die
spiritually, if not at the intellectual level
hearts like metal, only brief envy
for hearts that bubble, at the briefest,
slightest mention of their Lord
just a thin sheer sheet of silk wrapped around steel
one verse, and they're already bored
and whats worse, than a hard heart
that curses its own roots
that yearn for these divine verses
but he pines to break loose
and he dies, trynna sever ties
that cannot be severed
bonds that cannot be broken
lineage that cannot be better
because in the end
we all came from the same person
we from the same place
the same hood
so then why is it, that when the hood's real low
the fitted cap fit, fit to the absolute lowest
and your eyes won't show
without you having to lean back real slow
and it might hurt you so
because my back might break my pride
when I lean down to prostrate to the Divine
and when I say salaams to my brother
why does it gotta be with the thug mug
and the sweeping eyes
or from afar, the gaze of Hasad, the icy stares
break ice with more ice, now its only icy care
only numbs the pain, and you have yet to realize
see me through real eyes
because I'm just you're brother
bonds of blood
just a different father and mother
but my arrogance, refusal to see my sins
suck it up, give in, and give greetings to kin
its not hard
just impossible for the same reason
that it seems not possible
to wake up for a single prayer on time
but pray late, no sleep, cuz we were stuck online
the night before
missed congregation Salaat
so for this we vaguely hate ourselves for,
but the effort is too great
so we grate and grind our teeth for the next time
and we eat, sleep, live, and forget our meaning for being,
our meeting with the Benevolent Being
the next morning we do the same
shed no tears but show a little shame
with a sham of a frown made possible
by the tear in my gown or the brown stain
on my jeans, while we look in the mirror
and shave and shape up my pretty little name
for some street fame
and i play this like a trivial video game
and I say I'm sincere?
I got heart right?
i just gotta do my share and my part right?
but i like it, why? because I get to fight
and I get to tell my brothers the wrong from the right
I grew up on a playground, so I can throw some fists
and speech is easy, i've taken classes for this
so with hands and words, i fight this evil
and with my hands and words, i abuse the people
no i fight the people
but do i fight myself?
now thats an odd thing
for that I can procrastinate and wait for the last possible date
as long as my chest got breath and my soul got flesh, I'm straight
so I can come back to myself
cuz thats an easy win
for now its these heathens
and theyre lack of fear
i got so many questions for 'em, it'd take a couple of years
for for now, heres one, for right now and right here
why is the applause always louder than the takbeers?
* * * * * * *
.... im in trouble man. tomorrow after fajr, inshaAllah.
so much. but for now, im trying to finish up a poem that I have to perform tomorrow at the mas-camp. i dont know why i said yes to this, but now its late night, and I have yet to finish up my poem....and it seems to keep getting longer and longer, and it doesn't want to finish. or i dont know how to finish.
here it is so far:
the mind is a terrible thing to waste
but most wait and waste their time
in supposed liesure, while we find
that most minds, and these minds both
continue to wither and die
spiritually, if not at the intellectual level
hearts like metal, only brief envy
for hearts that bubble, at the briefest,
slightest mention of their Lord
just a thin sheer sheet of silk wrapped around steel
one verse, and they're already bored
and whats worse, than a hard heart
that curses its own roots
that yearn for these divine verses
but he pines to break loose
and he dies, trynna sever ties
that cannot be severed
bonds that cannot be broken
lineage that cannot be better
because in the end
we all came from the same person
we from the same place
the same hood
so then why is it, that when the hood's real low
the fitted cap fit, fit to the absolute lowest
and your eyes won't show
without you having to lean back real slow
and it might hurt you so
because my back might break my pride
when I lean down to prostrate to the Divine
and when I say salaams to my brother
why does it gotta be with the thug mug
and the sweeping eyes
or from afar, the gaze of Hasad, the icy stares
break ice with more ice, now its only icy care
only numbs the pain, and you have yet to realize
see me through real eyes
because I'm just you're brother
bonds of blood
just a different father and mother
but my arrogance, refusal to see my sins
suck it up, give in, and give greetings to kin
its not hard
just impossible for the same reason
that it seems not possible
to wake up for a single prayer on time
but pray late, no sleep, cuz we were stuck online
the night before
missed congregation Salaat
so for this we vaguely hate ourselves for,
but the effort is too great
so we grate and grind our teeth for the next time
and we eat, sleep, live, and forget our meaning for being,
our meeting with the Benevolent Being
the next morning we do the same
shed no tears but show a little shame
with a sham of a frown made possible
by the tear in my gown or the brown stain
on my jeans, while we look in the mirror
and shave and shape up my pretty little name
for some street fame
and i play this like a trivial video game
and I say I'm sincere?
I got heart right?
i just gotta do my share and my part right?
but i like it, why? because I get to fight
and I get to tell my brothers the wrong from the right
I grew up on a playground, so I can throw some fists
and speech is easy, i've taken classes for this
so with hands and words, i fight this evil
and with my hands and words, i abuse the people
no i fight the people
but do i fight myself?
now thats an odd thing
for that I can procrastinate and wait for the last possible date
as long as my chest got breath and my soul got flesh, I'm straight
so I can come back to myself
cuz thats an easy win
for now its these heathens
and theyre lack of fear
i got so many questions for 'em, it'd take a couple of years
for for now, heres one, for right now and right here
why is the applause always louder than the takbeers?
* * * * * * *
.... im in trouble man. tomorrow after fajr, inshaAllah.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Salaamu Alaikum
WOW, its 12:53 afternoon, and its been a lonnnng day. this is gonna require a brief history lesson. earlier this year, while the spring semester was drawing to a close, my 98 nissan sentra died. inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'oon. i killed it. by accident. really. there was nothing i could have done to avoid it >_> ...except maybe not go on the road. but whatever, Allah is the best of Planners. so i survive the rest of the semester without a car, getting rides from friends, and nearly walking home from work (out of boredom and lack of patience to wait for a ride) a couple of times.
so we're looking around for another car. we go to this local public auction. its vicious cuz im seeing some good cars for like 100 bucks n what not. this part is a whole nother in itself, so im gonna just go to the end. i bought a Lincoln Mark VIII, and my dad who was pretty angry that i did that went ahead and got a 87 volvo station wagon, talkin bout volvos are the best and what not. the Lincoln served a purpose, basically i traded it for the Max that i got now, alhamdulillah. but for the volvo, somehow we managed to lose the keys the first day. it wasnt me, but i still took the heat for it. by the time we went to the dealer and got another copy of the keys and came back (a few days) the car was stolen. police report. they didnt find it. whatever. i didnt want the volvo anyways.
2-3 months go by, i manage to get this Maxima of mine, things are settling down. yesterday, we get a letter from some impound place talkin bout your car has been sitting here for this many days, and you have to pay this much money. today, we gotta go take care of this.
thats the history. this is today:
so im up early and i take my dad to the MVA, where I wait in line for like 40 mins. we're trynna get temp tags so we can move the car once we claim it. but when we first got the car, we already GOT temp tags, and when it got stolen, we returned the tags, not before they expired tho. so the ppl at MVA are like you already got tags once, you can't get em again. blah blah, so the trip to the MVA proves useless, and now its to the impound place. i take my dad there, and we claim the car, show the title, ID, and that it got stolen and what not. they show us the car, i try to turn it on and it needs a jump. my dad still wants it. im still wondering what were gonna do with another car? especially since this thing is an 87 and it probably wont pass inspection without us dishing out a good amount of money. but my dad wants it. we cant get tags. we gotta get it towed.
lines and more lines. dude offers to tow. they dont take credit cards, we gotta go get cash. their "detectives" have to double check to make sure the car was stolen, cuz then we wont have to pay the 300 dollars worth of storage fees. this and that. just running around everywhere.
anyways, by the TIME we have some cash and are ready to pay to release the car and get it towed to an inspection center, a cop is there. and they're like, "you cant get the car."
what? why?
it was used in a homicide.
GREAT.
may Allah take forgive our sins and alleviate our hardships and make us from among the Dwellers of Paradise. Ameen.
* * * * * *
2 of my college classes got cut cuz of insufficient enrollment. man they were gonna be the 2 easy classes too. one of them was about islam and muslims in the west, and the other was some community service thing (both of which I DO need as electives :D) but now im gonna have to replace them with something harder. i gotta do that today.
what else.....Fiqh of Love. haha thoughts on this one later.
Allahumma Inni Astaghfiruka bi Rahmatika, Yaa Arham al-Rahimeen.
WOW, its 12:53 afternoon, and its been a lonnnng day. this is gonna require a brief history lesson. earlier this year, while the spring semester was drawing to a close, my 98 nissan sentra died. inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'oon. i killed it. by accident. really. there was nothing i could have done to avoid it >_> ...except maybe not go on the road. but whatever, Allah is the best of Planners. so i survive the rest of the semester without a car, getting rides from friends, and nearly walking home from work (out of boredom and lack of patience to wait for a ride) a couple of times.
so we're looking around for another car. we go to this local public auction. its vicious cuz im seeing some good cars for like 100 bucks n what not. this part is a whole nother in itself, so im gonna just go to the end. i bought a Lincoln Mark VIII, and my dad who was pretty angry that i did that went ahead and got a 87 volvo station wagon, talkin bout volvos are the best and what not. the Lincoln served a purpose, basically i traded it for the Max that i got now, alhamdulillah. but for the volvo, somehow we managed to lose the keys the first day. it wasnt me, but i still took the heat for it. by the time we went to the dealer and got another copy of the keys and came back (a few days) the car was stolen. police report. they didnt find it. whatever. i didnt want the volvo anyways.
2-3 months go by, i manage to get this Maxima of mine, things are settling down. yesterday, we get a letter from some impound place talkin bout your car has been sitting here for this many days, and you have to pay this much money. today, we gotta go take care of this.
thats the history. this is today:
so im up early and i take my dad to the MVA, where I wait in line for like 40 mins. we're trynna get temp tags so we can move the car once we claim it. but when we first got the car, we already GOT temp tags, and when it got stolen, we returned the tags, not before they expired tho. so the ppl at MVA are like you already got tags once, you can't get em again. blah blah, so the trip to the MVA proves useless, and now its to the impound place. i take my dad there, and we claim the car, show the title, ID, and that it got stolen and what not. they show us the car, i try to turn it on and it needs a jump. my dad still wants it. im still wondering what were gonna do with another car? especially since this thing is an 87 and it probably wont pass inspection without us dishing out a good amount of money. but my dad wants it. we cant get tags. we gotta get it towed.
lines and more lines. dude offers to tow. they dont take credit cards, we gotta go get cash. their "detectives" have to double check to make sure the car was stolen, cuz then we wont have to pay the 300 dollars worth of storage fees. this and that. just running around everywhere.
anyways, by the TIME we have some cash and are ready to pay to release the car and get it towed to an inspection center, a cop is there. and they're like, "you cant get the car."
what? why?
it was used in a homicide.
GREAT.
may Allah take forgive our sins and alleviate our hardships and make us from among the Dwellers of Paradise. Ameen.
* * * * * *
2 of my college classes got cut cuz of insufficient enrollment. man they were gonna be the 2 easy classes too. one of them was about islam and muslims in the west, and the other was some community service thing (both of which I DO need as electives :D) but now im gonna have to replace them with something harder. i gotta do that today.
what else.....Fiqh of Love. haha thoughts on this one later.
Allahumma Inni Astaghfiruka bi Rahmatika, Yaa Arham al-Rahimeen.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Assalaamu Alaikum
these last few days i started going back to quran class in the morning. to review. cuz i got time. cuz one of my friends has just started hifdh school elsewhere and sorta motivated me. and cuz RAMADAN is around the corner! and this is precious review time right here. 2 weeks off? i wont have this type of time for a MINUTE once the semester starts. just yesterday after maghrib, the brother who did the hadith (the imam is away on vacation in south africa, back in his hood where he studied at, where his wife is from, and where his father in law lives (basically mashaAllah HES CHILLING - and he definitely deserved it) so the hadith was the famous hadith where the Prophet SAW mentions that there are two things that people dont take advantage of when they have them. Free time, and Health. Its usually one or the other. in youth, you got health, but you're at school and work all day. then you get married. providing for a family. etc etc. then you get old, and you got the time, but not the health. its truly a blessing to have BOTH free time and health, and an infinitely more precious blessing to have the tawfeeq to CHOOSE TO DO GOOD and sacrifice your health and time for the sake of Allah.
so anyways, i dont know HOW i overslept today. i went to sleep a lil bit after fajr, and woke up at dhuhr! 0_0 then i was at the MVA. ALHAMDULILLAH, i got the maxima is inspected, and i JUST GOT TAGS, and things with the car are finally seeming to fall into place. alhamdulillah. one of my friends offered to get me a super NICE CD player for the car for reallll cheap. like 50 bones. but im still thinkin bout it, since i know his hookups are kinda shady. i remember in fiqh class we talked bout that, i asked if it was jaa'iz to buy like a laptop off a crackhead for 50 bucks, even though it was obviously stolen. he said something bout benefit of the doubt (haha) but im not sure. though this is indirect...soooo....maybe i wont even get a CD player and juss hook my ipod up to the car. then ill have complete control over whats being played and random cats wont come in the car wit their Jada CDs like o_0?
i think imma go make a quick appearance at the masjid. :D im like alumni up there. i can still give the kids orders n stuff. tell em to read, stop talking. go get me a soda. haha. sike nah.
Rabbanaa Aatina fid Dunya Hasanah, wa fil Akhirati Hasanah, WaQinaa 'Athaaban Naar. Ameen.
these last few days i started going back to quran class in the morning. to review. cuz i got time. cuz one of my friends has just started hifdh school elsewhere and sorta motivated me. and cuz RAMADAN is around the corner! and this is precious review time right here. 2 weeks off? i wont have this type of time for a MINUTE once the semester starts. just yesterday after maghrib, the brother who did the hadith (the imam is away on vacation in south africa, back in his hood where he studied at, where his wife is from, and where his father in law lives (basically mashaAllah HES CHILLING - and he definitely deserved it) so the hadith was the famous hadith where the Prophet SAW mentions that there are two things that people dont take advantage of when they have them. Free time, and Health. Its usually one or the other. in youth, you got health, but you're at school and work all day. then you get married. providing for a family. etc etc. then you get old, and you got the time, but not the health. its truly a blessing to have BOTH free time and health, and an infinitely more precious blessing to have the tawfeeq to CHOOSE TO DO GOOD and sacrifice your health and time for the sake of Allah.
so anyways, i dont know HOW i overslept today. i went to sleep a lil bit after fajr, and woke up at dhuhr! 0_0 then i was at the MVA. ALHAMDULILLAH, i got the maxima is inspected, and i JUST GOT TAGS, and things with the car are finally seeming to fall into place. alhamdulillah. one of my friends offered to get me a super NICE CD player for the car for reallll cheap. like 50 bones. but im still thinkin bout it, since i know his hookups are kinda shady. i remember in fiqh class we talked bout that, i asked if it was jaa'iz to buy like a laptop off a crackhead for 50 bucks, even though it was obviously stolen. he said something bout benefit of the doubt (haha) but im not sure. though this is indirect...soooo....maybe i wont even get a CD player and juss hook my ipod up to the car. then ill have complete control over whats being played and random cats wont come in the car wit their Jada CDs like o_0?
i think imma go make a quick appearance at the masjid. :D im like alumni up there. i can still give the kids orders n stuff. tell em to read, stop talking. go get me a soda. haha. sike nah.
Rabbanaa Aatina fid Dunya Hasanah, wa fil Akhirati Hasanah, WaQinaa 'Athaaban Naar. Ameen.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Assalaamu Alaikum
last night after isha, a brother I know personally told me that his wife was having complications with her pregnancy. man i cannot describe how my heart went out to him. Allah can test us with so many things, and it seems like the longer we live, the more we get nailed down to this earth, and the harder the tests become. Allah might test us with marriage. and then once we are married, Allah might test us with our kids.
Inna Maa Amwaalukum wa Awladukum Fitnah.
"surely your wealth and your children are trials."
man i can NOT IMAGINE how I would react in a situation like that. Allah does not burden a person beyond his scope, and this bro is one of the strongest ppl i know.
may Allah give this brother a fully healthy child and protect both him and his wife, Ameen.
may Allah protect us all from having to go through something similar, Ameen.
* * * * * *
this is the Ba'dal Fajr crew. everyone on my buddy list is away. o_0 inshaAllah my car should be ready by today, inspected n all that. i got these two weeks off before the fall semester starts, and im gonna have to get everything down and ready. they should be pretty chill, but man, i am not really looking forward to classes starting.
last night after isha, a brother I know personally told me that his wife was having complications with her pregnancy. man i cannot describe how my heart went out to him. Allah can test us with so many things, and it seems like the longer we live, the more we get nailed down to this earth, and the harder the tests become. Allah might test us with marriage. and then once we are married, Allah might test us with our kids.
Inna Maa Amwaalukum wa Awladukum Fitnah.
"surely your wealth and your children are trials."
man i can NOT IMAGINE how I would react in a situation like that. Allah does not burden a person beyond his scope, and this bro is one of the strongest ppl i know.
may Allah give this brother a fully healthy child and protect both him and his wife, Ameen.
may Allah protect us all from having to go through something similar, Ameen.
* * * * * *
this is the Ba'dal Fajr crew. everyone on my buddy list is away. o_0 inshaAllah my car should be ready by today, inspected n all that. i got these two weeks off before the fall semester starts, and im gonna have to get everything down and ready. they should be pretty chill, but man, i am not really looking forward to classes starting.
Friday, July 29, 2005
i just came back from crazy rays. crazy rays is basically a huuuuuge junk lot, with junked, wrecked, salvaged etc cars just lying in rows and rows and rows. theres like thousands of cars over there, and basically what you do is you look for whatever part you want, take it out, and go and pay for it. ridiculous prices. and even then, i managed to waste my money. so i went there to get a hazard switch for my maxima. when the dude broke in, he didnt do any damage (besides a shattered window) to the wires and stuff, but when he ripped out the dashboard, he broke my hazard switch. so the car's turn signals wouldn't work. first i thought it was a short, but asking around, they said it might be the hazard switch. okay.
so i went to the junkyard to find a hazard switch, found one off a sentra in the first five mins. decided to keep lookin around, maybe some CD set was still in one of these cars right? well yea, all the CD systems were gone, but there were plenty of nice tape decks. so i took one out of a maxima, and then went on ahead to take off its windshield wipers too. my car's wipers are kinda messed up, so that if you close the hood of the car, they get stuck under them. so these wipers were a lil smaller, and they were off a nissan (not a maxima tho) so i said hey, whatever. i payed 36 bucks for the switch, two windshield wipers, and the nice tape deck, which also had like those sound manipulaters with all the lil switches and guages, kinda like what ull see at a studio o_0. GOOD PRICE? YEA! IF THEY WORKED!
its a junkyard. everything is as-is condition. no refunds, returns, etc. alhamdulillah the hazard switch worked perfectly, and i now have my turn signals again. but the tape deck doesnt work, i guess its broken. and the wipers are too small to hook into the motors. woohoo. i cudda got the switch in five bucks, but instead i used another 30, that cudda went to gas. i always look for lessons in things, you know something Allah wants to teach me. or maybe this is the Jazaa' of something i did earlier. but the only thing i cud get out of this was, "only get what you came for"?
yea, the summer is almost over, and i have no choice but to keep this car and fix it. i dont have the time, money, or energy to look for another one, and when the fall semester starts, we are going to NEED all 3 cars, running. so while i was figuring out how bad i wasted my 30 bucks, this brother who im real cool with and whos a mechanic, recently sold his shop though, came up and was like thats what you bought? im like mhm. i tell him the story, what it needs n wut not, and how im waiting for some guy to tell me his price to fix it up. i show him the inspection papers, and he had pretty much the same reaction i had. the guy who did the inspection overreacted like retard, and if i took it to someone else, they wudda passed that thing. so anyways, he was like, why dont YOU fix it? i was like, you wanna teach me? he goes, sure.
Ya Allah, please take care of all my affairs, ameen.
Inna ma'al 'Usri Yusraa.
so i went to the junkyard to find a hazard switch, found one off a sentra in the first five mins. decided to keep lookin around, maybe some CD set was still in one of these cars right? well yea, all the CD systems were gone, but there were plenty of nice tape decks. so i took one out of a maxima, and then went on ahead to take off its windshield wipers too. my car's wipers are kinda messed up, so that if you close the hood of the car, they get stuck under them. so these wipers were a lil smaller, and they were off a nissan (not a maxima tho) so i said hey, whatever. i payed 36 bucks for the switch, two windshield wipers, and the nice tape deck, which also had like those sound manipulaters with all the lil switches and guages, kinda like what ull see at a studio o_0. GOOD PRICE? YEA! IF THEY WORKED!
its a junkyard. everything is as-is condition. no refunds, returns, etc. alhamdulillah the hazard switch worked perfectly, and i now have my turn signals again. but the tape deck doesnt work, i guess its broken. and the wipers are too small to hook into the motors. woohoo. i cudda got the switch in five bucks, but instead i used another 30, that cudda went to gas. i always look for lessons in things, you know something Allah wants to teach me. or maybe this is the Jazaa' of something i did earlier. but the only thing i cud get out of this was, "only get what you came for"?
yea, the summer is almost over, and i have no choice but to keep this car and fix it. i dont have the time, money, or energy to look for another one, and when the fall semester starts, we are going to NEED all 3 cars, running. so while i was figuring out how bad i wasted my 30 bucks, this brother who im real cool with and whos a mechanic, recently sold his shop though, came up and was like thats what you bought? im like mhm. i tell him the story, what it needs n wut not, and how im waiting for some guy to tell me his price to fix it up. i show him the inspection papers, and he had pretty much the same reaction i had. the guy who did the inspection overreacted like retard, and if i took it to someone else, they wudda passed that thing. so anyways, he was like, why dont YOU fix it? i was like, you wanna teach me? he goes, sure.
Ya Allah, please take care of all my affairs, ameen.
Inna ma'al 'Usri Yusraa.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
As Salaamu Alaikum
just came back from the gym, played a lil ball. this is my second day of playing after like a month and a half of laying off my legs due to my ankle injury. man my legs are so weak now. two weeks of crutches and another month of just laying off of them really made them weak, so now when im playin, im puttin all this tension on them all of a sudden. so i feel like i ran a mile after one game. hows my ankle feel? its funny cuz my weak legs are bothering me more than my ankle.
so sunday (playoffs) is still in question. i was telling dude today that i probably wouldnt be able to play, cuz even though im moving normally, everthing is at like 70% speed. he said i was playin fine, but i know myself that i cant play at that level where i can help the team, take over, blow by someone, etc against a real defense.
honestly though, the ISB league isnt even that serious. its not something so important that im gonna risk myself gettin injured again just to play. if i feel good, ill play. if not, im not gonna risk anything. its just a summer league. but alhamdulillah im playin again. and inshaAllah, imma get back to my previous level and come back better.
may Allah give me a full recovery. Ameen.
just came back from the gym, played a lil ball. this is my second day of playing after like a month and a half of laying off my legs due to my ankle injury. man my legs are so weak now. two weeks of crutches and another month of just laying off of them really made them weak, so now when im playin, im puttin all this tension on them all of a sudden. so i feel like i ran a mile after one game. hows my ankle feel? its funny cuz my weak legs are bothering me more than my ankle.
so sunday (playoffs) is still in question. i was telling dude today that i probably wouldnt be able to play, cuz even though im moving normally, everthing is at like 70% speed. he said i was playin fine, but i know myself that i cant play at that level where i can help the team, take over, blow by someone, etc against a real defense.
honestly though, the ISB league isnt even that serious. its not something so important that im gonna risk myself gettin injured again just to play. if i feel good, ill play. if not, im not gonna risk anything. its just a summer league. but alhamdulillah im playin again. and inshaAllah, imma get back to my previous level and come back better.
may Allah give me a full recovery. Ameen.
salaamu alaikum
i dunno what the hype is about. i finally had to use our new ORECK vacuum cleaner, and im convinced that my sister, mom and dad are all delusional. this thing sucks. you cant even move it properly. u try to go straight up, it goes right. its like at random times, it grows a brain, or maybe its supposed to be "smart" and has some type of "sensors" (which I doubt cuz its so skinny and raggety looking that i wonder how it costs so much) but it goes in wierd directions. and its supposed to be lightweight? what good is that if you can't manuever it properly. ok im done with that. here is one of my posts on islamica reflecting my thoughts lately:
* * * * * * *
alright, then can somebody please tell me
HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO RAISE YOUR KIDS!?
i mean, you can only do so much, and at the end, you just have to hope they have enough taqwa to make the right choices. but now theres children from "pious" families who don't give a crap about their religion, let alone practice. and then theres the brothers and sisters from completely non-muslim or culturafied households who are striving sincerely at such young ages? its scary to think that after everything you do for your child, they could end up either way? or is there something that these families are missing that the other ones are doing?
see i'm rambling, cuz i don't know exactly what i'm asking. but have you ever been at the masjid and you see the little kid who comes to the masjid with his father just out of love for the masjid? and you talk to him and he is just oveflowing with life and love for the sunnah? and you just wanna go up to his father and be like, how have you raised your kid?
wallahi i was thinking about this today in BIO class, where we were talking about recessive and dominant diseases. how would you feel if your child was born with a disease like that? and i got to thinking, what if they have an even greater disease? the disease of Nifaaq and hypocrisy?
aight ill stop now. may Allah give us all righteous offspring. ameen.
* * * * * *
i dunno what the hype is about. i finally had to use our new ORECK vacuum cleaner, and im convinced that my sister, mom and dad are all delusional. this thing sucks. you cant even move it properly. u try to go straight up, it goes right. its like at random times, it grows a brain, or maybe its supposed to be "smart" and has some type of "sensors" (which I doubt cuz its so skinny and raggety looking that i wonder how it costs so much) but it goes in wierd directions. and its supposed to be lightweight? what good is that if you can't manuever it properly. ok im done with that. here is one of my posts on islamica reflecting my thoughts lately:
* * * * * * *
alright, then can somebody please tell me
HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO RAISE YOUR KIDS!?
i mean, you can only do so much, and at the end, you just have to hope they have enough taqwa to make the right choices. but now theres children from "pious" families who don't give a crap about their religion, let alone practice. and then theres the brothers and sisters from completely non-muslim or culturafied households who are striving sincerely at such young ages? its scary to think that after everything you do for your child, they could end up either way? or is there something that these families are missing that the other ones are doing?
see i'm rambling, cuz i don't know exactly what i'm asking. but have you ever been at the masjid and you see the little kid who comes to the masjid with his father just out of love for the masjid? and you talk to him and he is just oveflowing with life and love for the sunnah? and you just wanna go up to his father and be like, how have you raised your kid?
wallahi i was thinking about this today in BIO class, where we were talking about recessive and dominant diseases. how would you feel if your child was born with a disease like that? and i got to thinking, what if they have an even greater disease? the disease of Nifaaq and hypocrisy?
aight ill stop now. may Allah give us all righteous offspring. ameen.
* * * * * *
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Salaamu alaikum
heh, can't say its been uneventful lately. weddings, halaqas, tests, cars gettin broken into, etc. but right now, this is about the Khutbah i gave at Dar ul Taqwa. First of all, it was for the kids of the summer camp, so it wasn't like anything big. yea it was the first khutbah i've given, and i started losing my voice throughout the middle of it like a retard. but I did actually get through the whole thing and finish it off. Alhamdulillah.
i started writing it the night before and finished it in the morning of Friday. it was all a jumble of stuff, but alhamdulillah most of the stuff was just things on my mind that i wanted to say, so I didn't have to look at the paper at all until the very end. so now that ive gone and fixed it up so that its readable to the human eye, im gonna post it here. note: it LOOKS long, but it really didn't take that long when delivering. also, I didn't include the usual Duaa that you say during the Khutbah, and I didn't include the Duaas at the end. so here it is:
* * * * * * * * *
heh, can't say its been uneventful lately. weddings, halaqas, tests, cars gettin broken into, etc. but right now, this is about the Khutbah i gave at Dar ul Taqwa. First of all, it was for the kids of the summer camp, so it wasn't like anything big. yea it was the first khutbah i've given, and i started losing my voice throughout the middle of it like a retard. but I did actually get through the whole thing and finish it off. Alhamdulillah.
i started writing it the night before and finished it in the morning of Friday. it was all a jumble of stuff, but alhamdulillah most of the stuff was just things on my mind that i wanted to say, so I didn't have to look at the paper at all until the very end. so now that ive gone and fixed it up so that its readable to the human eye, im gonna post it here. note: it LOOKS long, but it really didn't take that long when delivering. also, I didn't include the usual Duaa that you say during the Khutbah, and I didn't include the Duaas at the end. so here it is:
* * * * * * * * *
Assalaamu Alaikum Wa
Allah SWT says in the Quran:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ اتَّقُواْ اللّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِ وَلاَ تَمُوتُنَّ إِلاَّ وَأَنتُم مُّسْلِمُونَ
“O you who believe! Fear Allah as He should be feared. And die not except in a state of Islam with complete submission to Allah.”
Today, I wanted to talk about a topic that is discussed many times and constantly. And although, Masha’Allah I don’t think that any of you over here will learn anything new from what I am going to say, it will serve as a reminder. And this reminder is first and foremost to myself, because this is something that I need to be reminded about constantly. This topic is Taqwa.
Now what is Taqwa? I’m sure that all of the brothers and sisters here already know what Taqwa is: fear of Allah. Or that is the basic definition used by most people. And then if we go deeper into the meaning of Taqwa, we all know that it is not just fear of Allah, but it is a state between fear and hope. Fear of Allah’s displeasure, and hope for His pleasure and His Mercy. To lean too far on either side, for us to simply fear, and leave out the hope part, or for us to become so hopeful that we leave out the fear part, is incorrect and can be very dangerous.
So now for one to say that Allah is Al-Ghafoor and Al-Raheem. At least 17 times a day, I would hope more, but at the least, 17 times a day, we read Surah Fatiha. And in the second Ayah of Surah Fatiha, we say Al-Rahmanir Raheem. The Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful. Now some people, Subhan Allah, they take this to such a level that they say Allah is the Most Merciful, so why would he ever punish me. I am not like most of the people out there, going out, drinking, partying. I’m just a regular Muslim doing my part, so why would Allah punish me? They feel content with their deeds and Akhirah. This is incorrect. Of course, Allah says he is Al-Ghafoor and Al-Raheem, but then do we forget the verse where Allah SWT says:
وَلَكِنَّ عَذَابَ اللَّهِ شَدِيدٌ
“But Surely, the Punishment of Allah is severe!”
How can we be so bold to say that Allah will never punish us? We have to go back and look at the attitude that the Companions had. The Companions of the Prophet SAW were the very people who were given a status unequaled by others in the Quran. Allah says about them:
رَّضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمْوَرَضُوا عَنْهُ
“Allah is pleased with them, and they are pleased with him.”
For Allah to say in his Book, Al-Quran, the absolute Truth, that he is pleased with a group of people is nothing to shrug off. It is a very big deal. During the second generation of Muslims, when the Sahabah started dying off, they were considered gems in the Ummah. If a group of people had the Sahabah on their side, it gave their position so much more weight. The Sahabah had a level of their own. And then even within themselves, there were ranks amongst them. The likes of Abu Bakr Al-Siddiq, Umar bin Khattab, Uthman bin Affan, and Ali ibn Abi Talib, (RA) along with the rest of the ten that were given the glad tidings of paradise in one sitting, had their own status. Imagine that, the Prophet (SAW) listing ten Companions, one by one by one, saying they will be in Jannah. And everything the Prophet (SAW) said, came from Allah, so they are getting a guarantee that they will be in the highest place in Jannah along with the Prophet SAW. And yet these same people, who knew that when they died, they were going to heaven, used to spend their entire nights in Tahajjud prayer, crying until their beards would drip with tears. These same people gave all of their wealth in the path of Allah. These same people use to fear that they were hypocrites.
Uthman bin Affan (RA), who was the third Khalifa of the Muslims, was murdered by the hypocrites of his time. The night before he was killed, he had a dream where he saw the Prophet SAW, sitting with Abu Bakr and Umar (RA), and he told him that tomorrow, you will break your fast with us. So that morning when he went out of the house, he was fasting. He has just received confirmation from the Prophet that he is going to be with him in Jannah. And this is the same person for whom the Prophet SAW said that “after today, Uthman can do no wrong.” And this is the same person for whom one day, when the Prophet SAW was reclining with his companions, just chilling, and some of his clothing had slipped and uncovered part of his leg, and Uthman walked into the gathering. The Prophet SAW immediately got up and fixed his clothing. The Companions asked why he did that. And he said, “Should I not be shy in front of the person whom even the Angels are shy of?” Even the Angels were shy to be in the presence of Uthman (RA). And this same person, when he was dying, what did he say?
“There is no god but You (Allah), Glory be to You, Surely I am from the wrongdoers.”
* * * * * * *
قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَى أَنفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِن رَّحْمَةِ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ
Say: "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves! Despair not of the mercy of Allah, verily, Allah forgives all sins, Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
[وَمَن يَعْمَلْ سُوءاً أَوْ يَظْلِمْ نَفْسَهُ ثُمَّ يَسْتَغْفِرِ اللَّهَ يَجِدِ اللَّهَ غَفُوراً رَّحِيماً ]
“And whoever does evil or wrongs himself but afterwards seeks Allah's forgiveness, he will find Allah Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful”
Allah is describing someone disobeying Him as doing Dhulm (Oppression) upon themselves, because that is the actuality of it. We are oppressing ourselves when we choose to disobey Allah, because no one else will feel the ramifications of our deeds on the Day of Judgment but ourselves. And yet Allah is saying that those who have transgressed against their own souls, or wrong their souls and commit evils, to the point where they think they have mountains of sins on their scales, “but afterwards seek Allah’s forgiveness, he will find Allah Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful.” And in the first Ayah, Allah says, “Do NOT despair in the mercy of Allah, Verily Allah is will forgive ALL sins, and he is Al-Ghafoor and Al-Raheem.” To despair in the hope of Allah’s forgiveness is only weakness of faith. And it is wrong to do so. Why? Because think about it. Allah is describing himself with His attributes as the Most Merciful of all, and the Most Forgiving of all. So when we say that Allah can never forgive me, we are actually limiting the mercy and attributes of Allah SWT! He is saying he will do something, and we are saying he cannot. That’s a very big deal! InshaAllah I will end with a Hadith of the Prophet SAW:
Imam Ahmad recorded that Anas bin Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah , say:
«وَالَّذِي نَفْسِي بِيَدِهِ لَوْ أَخْطَأْتُمْ حَتْى تَمْلَأَ خَطَايَاكُمْ مَا بَيْنَ السَّمَاءِ وَالْأَرْضِ، ثُمَّ اسْتَغْفَرْتُمُ اللهَ تَعَالَى لَغَفَرَ لَكُمْ، وَالَّذِي نَفْسُ مُحَمَّدٍبِيَدِهِ لَوْ لَمْ تُخْطِئُوا لَجَاءَ اللهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ بِقَوْمٍ يُخْطِئُونَ، ثُمَّ يَسْتَغْفِرُونَ اللهَ فَيَغْفِرُ لَهُم»
(By the One in Whose Hand is my soul, if you were to commit sin until your sins filled the space between heaven and earth, then you were to ask Allah for forgiveness, He would forgive you. By the One in Whose Hand is the soul of Muhammad, if you did not commit sin, Allah would bring other people who would commit sins and then ask Allah for forgiveness so that He could forgive them.)
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
hehe, i was chillin wit the imam after isha' prayer today, juss talkin bout when he's leaving for his trip and some questions and answers, and well, he mentioned the Usool exam. basically it was confirmation that I passed, kinda. He was like, "I would have never given you guys that exam if I had had time to prepare my own. I just took the south africa exam and gave it to you guys. it was too easy. over there they don't even teach qiyas, that is why there were no questions from qiyas. and you guys saw, it was the easiest test yet."
i'm thinking, ALHAMDULILLAH.
so I have to give a khutbah to the kids at the Dar ul Taqwa summer camp this friday. I'm still trying to decide what to do it on. i'll prolly use this thing to brainstorm, when i'm not feeling so lazy. oh yea, mechanic dude was trynna rip me off. im like o_0, how bout no buddy.
i'm thinking, ALHAMDULILLAH.
so I have to give a khutbah to the kids at the Dar ul Taqwa summer camp this friday. I'm still trying to decide what to do it on. i'll prolly use this thing to brainstorm, when i'm not feeling so lazy. oh yea, mechanic dude was trynna rip me off. im like o_0, how bout no buddy.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
so i took my usool test today.
...
i dont think I failed as bad as last time. cuz this time, i actually understood the ibarah which i was answering, i just didn't go into detail. i finished the test in like an hour. the other two brothers took like 3 hours, prolly writing details after details about the masaa'ilah, their objections, and the objections' answers.
"Guess I'm just gonna have to write reallllly general statements. 'Aam. So that they cover everything, and I can't get anything "wrong". " ~ Me, before the test.
...
i dont think I failed as bad as last time. cuz this time, i actually understood the ibarah which i was answering, i just didn't go into detail. i finished the test in like an hour. the other two brothers took like 3 hours, prolly writing details after details about the masaa'ilah, their objections, and the objections' answers.
"Guess I'm just gonna have to write reallllly general statements. 'Aam. So that they cover everything, and I can't get anything "wrong". " ~ Me, before the test.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
excerpt from sunnipath...
وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ فَلْيَسْتَجِيبُوا لِي وَلْيُؤْمِنُوا بِي لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْشُدُونَ (186)
"And when My servants ask you concerning Me, then surely I am close. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he cries unto Me[9]."
This verse is very unique because it is the only verse in the Qur'an where a person came to the Prophet (sa) and asked him a question about Allah (swt). Usually when such and event happened, the revelation would be sent instructing the Prophet (sa) to, "Say or Qul." However, this verse was sent because the people were enquiring about supplication, thus the response did not come through the Prophet (sa) but Allah (swt) answered them in the first person! Again, as the scholars have commented, this was done to show the special relationship between Allah and His servants. It is so close that He did not answer through the Prophet (sa), but answered it directly. Thus when one realizes this, there will be no further loneliness, because Allah is with His servants, listening to them and taking care of them.
* * * * * *
-unrelated- been feeling wierd lately.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
arrogance is disgusting.
and I disgust myself sometimes.
I really think that this ankle injury was kind of Allah tugging at my leash, cuz these last couple of weeks it seemed like I was at the peak of my ball game, and was seriously beginning to become unstoppable, at least over at the ISB league. I'm still trying to draw the line between talking trash and becoming too cocky. And between being confident and aggressive, and arrogant in my game. I dunno, I guess its a learning process, and these injuries are for me to take a step back and analyze my situation and what not.
I just wrote like 4 other paragraphs but deleted them, cuz I'm trynna make these posts only useful thoughts, not stuff thats goin down.
and I disgust myself sometimes.
I really think that this ankle injury was kind of Allah tugging at my leash, cuz these last couple of weeks it seemed like I was at the peak of my ball game, and was seriously beginning to become unstoppable, at least over at the ISB league. I'm still trying to draw the line between talking trash and becoming too cocky. And between being confident and aggressive, and arrogant in my game. I dunno, I guess its a learning process, and these injuries are for me to take a step back and analyze my situation and what not.
I just wrote like 4 other paragraphs but deleted them, cuz I'm trynna make these posts only useful thoughts, not stuff thats goin down.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
its back
So after a few months, (maybe only 1 or 2 actually) this blog is back. InshaAllah, this time it won't be just me "indirectly" complaining bout how busy/tired/hard my days are and what not.
Or I will try my best.
walaikum assalaam
Or I will try my best.
walaikum assalaam
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