imma try to find the mp3 of this somewhere and link it.
فرشي التراب يضمني وهو غطائي
حولي الرمال تلفني بل من ورائي
واللحد يحكي ظلمة فيها ابتلائي
والنور خط كتابه أنسى لقائي
والأهل اين حنانهم باعوا وفائي
والصحب اين جموعهم تركوا اخائي
والمال اين هناءه صار ورائي
والاسم اين بريقه بين الثناءِ
هذي نهاية حالي فرشي الترابِ
والحب ودّع شوقه وبكى رثائي
والدمع جف مسيره بعد البكاء
والكون ضاق بوسعه ضاقت فضائي
فاللحد صار بجثتي أرضي سمائي
هذي نهاية حالي فرشي الترابِ
والخوف يملأ غربتي والحزن دائي
أرجو الثبات وإنه قسما دوائي
والرب أدعو مخلصا أنت رجائي
أبغي إلهي جنة فيها هنائي
Rough translation I found on the net (some of it doesn't make sense):
Dust is my bed, embraces me and it’s my cover now
The sand surrounds me even behind my back
And the grave tells a dankness of my affliction
And the brightness draws a line……………
Where is my family’s love? They sold my loyalty!
And where is my group of friends? They left my brotherhood!
Where is the bliss of money? It’s behind my back now
And my name (reputation) where is it shine between praises
This is my end and this is my bed
And love farewells its longing and my elegizing cried
And the tears went dry after crying
And the universe became narrow and so is my space
And the grave became my ground and sky
This is my end and this is my bed
Fear fills my estrangement and sadness is my illness
I expect firmness and I swear it’s my cure
And for Allah i pray faithfully, you are my hope
Allah! I desire heaven, to find bliss in it
And for Allah i pray faithfully, you are my hope
Allah! I desire heaven, to find bliss in it
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
no countdowns here
assalaamu alaikum
tonight was the 29th night (for some of us) and theres only at the most, 2 days left in ramadan. i was chilling with my boy earlier and i kept hearing him say, "finally, ramadan is almost over. i can't wait for eid man." i usually feel the same way. i did last year, and all the years before that. this ramadan is different. and you know whats funny is that while we were having our bootleg MSA meetings early on in the month, we had a lil discussion about how this ramadan was different from all the rest, or if it even was different at all. well at that time, i wasn't sure if it was different at all. i was just getting through each day and night one by one, and it didn't seem any different. but now i can honestly say that this is the first time where i REALLY do NOT want the month to end. i wish ramadan went on for the rest of the year. i wish it never stopped.
i wish taraweeh could go on for the rest of the year. i wish the rest of the months and every single day of the year could go by like a day of ramadan, drenched and surrounded by the recitation of Quran. i finished the Quran on the 25th night in annapolis, and the morning after, i was straight depressed. and just a few hours ago, we finished again at ISB, and i got that feeling again.
i could describe it as fear. fear of getting high off ramadan, and then hitting the low in the months following. i never really made ramadan or post-ramadan resolutions or any of that stuff, but this time... i dunno. i just wanna keep this up.
taraweeh man.
my arabic is garbage. but its 20 times better than last year, and recitation was the funnest thing in the world, cuz i was actually understanding it. my goal for next year (if i live that long) is to have arabic down, insha Allah. im gonna be studying it either way in the darul uloom, but i really wanna study it WELL. i wanna KNOW the language and be able to speak it, so basically that means that i wont be just "barely getting by" with my hour of studying a week or the way i usually procrastinate.
i got so much stuff to do and improve on. will i do it tho? i think bout all this stuff constantly, but i dont really act on it. today while i was waiting at the MVA for *4* hours, i was chillin in the car listening to Ghamdi's, Muhammad Jebril's, and Ajmy's khatm duah, and asked Allah to give me death right there if there was nothing good for me any more. basically, like if i was gonna slip up and become more worthless than i already am this following year, save me from it. and then i was thinking, i need to constantly make duah for Allah to make me die in a state of Islam, and the best state possible. almost like, oh Allah, if this state that i am in right now is the best state i will EVER be in, make me die in it. no i'm not wishing for death, but i'm juss saying that i'd rather die while i'm ahead rather than go backwards and die in an unfortunate situation.
Allahumma innaa na'oothu bika min 'AINIL LAA TUDMA'.
"Oh Allah, surely we seek refuge in You from the eye that doesn't tear."
* * * * * * * * *
oh, but i am looking forward to this sunday. tackle football, cedar lane park. i feel like merkin some cats. insha Allah.
tonight was the 29th night (for some of us) and theres only at the most, 2 days left in ramadan. i was chilling with my boy earlier and i kept hearing him say, "finally, ramadan is almost over. i can't wait for eid man." i usually feel the same way. i did last year, and all the years before that. this ramadan is different. and you know whats funny is that while we were having our bootleg MSA meetings early on in the month, we had a lil discussion about how this ramadan was different from all the rest, or if it even was different at all. well at that time, i wasn't sure if it was different at all. i was just getting through each day and night one by one, and it didn't seem any different. but now i can honestly say that this is the first time where i REALLY do NOT want the month to end. i wish ramadan went on for the rest of the year. i wish it never stopped.
i wish taraweeh could go on for the rest of the year. i wish the rest of the months and every single day of the year could go by like a day of ramadan, drenched and surrounded by the recitation of Quran. i finished the Quran on the 25th night in annapolis, and the morning after, i was straight depressed. and just a few hours ago, we finished again at ISB, and i got that feeling again.
i could describe it as fear. fear of getting high off ramadan, and then hitting the low in the months following. i never really made ramadan or post-ramadan resolutions or any of that stuff, but this time... i dunno. i just wanna keep this up.
taraweeh man.
my arabic is garbage. but its 20 times better than last year, and recitation was the funnest thing in the world, cuz i was actually understanding it. my goal for next year (if i live that long) is to have arabic down, insha Allah. im gonna be studying it either way in the darul uloom, but i really wanna study it WELL. i wanna KNOW the language and be able to speak it, so basically that means that i wont be just "barely getting by" with my hour of studying a week or the way i usually procrastinate.
i got so much stuff to do and improve on. will i do it tho? i think bout all this stuff constantly, but i dont really act on it. today while i was waiting at the MVA for *4* hours, i was chillin in the car listening to Ghamdi's, Muhammad Jebril's, and Ajmy's khatm duah, and asked Allah to give me death right there if there was nothing good for me any more. basically, like if i was gonna slip up and become more worthless than i already am this following year, save me from it. and then i was thinking, i need to constantly make duah for Allah to make me die in a state of Islam, and the best state possible. almost like, oh Allah, if this state that i am in right now is the best state i will EVER be in, make me die in it. no i'm not wishing for death, but i'm juss saying that i'd rather die while i'm ahead rather than go backwards and die in an unfortunate situation.
Allahumma innaa na'oothu bika min 'AINIL LAA TUDMA'.
"Oh Allah, surely we seek refuge in You from the eye that doesn't tear."
* * * * * * * * *
oh, but i am looking forward to this sunday. tackle football, cedar lane park. i feel like merkin some cats. insha Allah.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
juss a lil bit
salaamu alaikum
gotta let out a big: WOOOOOOO (loud sighing "woo" o_0)
i. am. beat. yo.
we ended just now, 2:00AM man. its like coming back from a good hard game of ball. it feels good. but you're straight mopped.
gotta let out a big: WOOOOOOO (loud sighing "woo" o_0)
i. am. beat. yo.
we ended just now, 2:00AM man. its like coming back from a good hard game of ball. it feels good. but you're straight mopped.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
the green ranger
salaamu alaikum
http://thatvideosite.com/view/969.html
aw man i would put this up on islamica, but the site that its on has some haramish ads.
ahh the old school days of saturday morning cartoons... :faint:
http://thatvideosite.com/view/969.html
aw man i would put this up on islamica, but the site that its on has some haramish ads.
ahh the old school days of saturday morning cartoons... :faint:
Friday, October 21, 2005
oh so close...
salaamu alaikum
i think there was a topic on islamica about where you see yourself in 10 years. i dunno, but my initial response was: prolly be dead. i dunno, is it just me, or does anybody else get the feeling that theyre gonna die real young? i do. the other day i was so tired when i was driving, i almost got into a nasty car accident, but alhamdulillah Allah saved me, and my car. but after that i was thinking, you know, that coulda been IT. and i wudda died in Ramadan. how many close calls have i had? im thinking about it, and im like, every day, im dodging bullets. we all are. its so easy to die.
i was planning on going for Hajj this year, thinking hey, if i have the money, let me do it, fulfill my obligation, and be ready to "die". but now im not going, cuz i asked the shaykh about students who wanted to go to hajj (in the aalim program) and he was like nah, theyll miss too much. ALTHOUGH, now that i think about it, since i HAVE already somewhat studied Nahw and Sarf (sure its garbage but hey i did take the course) i might be allowed to kinda miss a lil bit since im "ahead" right? at least this first year. im starting late anyways tho. its starting after ramadan, and im not gonna come in until my semesters over. i dunno.
im gonna start rambling now.
past few weeks ive been thinkin bout this stuff a lot, dunno why tho. but the whole notion of living this life as a traveler seems so hard in todays society, where you're grounded to this dunya by so many things. all these shiny things we have, fancy homes and clothes and cars, just tie us down. it seems almost impossible to truly "live this life as a traveler".
but im beginning to think, sure its got to do with material things, but also nonmaterial things, like attitudes. sometimes we take things so seriously. little dents in our egoes or emotions, and we get hurt so bad. is it really gonna kill us? even if it does, it doesn't matter, we're just travelers. people get caught up in dramas to such an extent that it affects their health and its all they think or talk about. dude you're a traveler.
now that might sound like im holding an opinion that you shouldnt get attached to people in this life, and that feelings dont matter because in the end, everybodys gonna hurt you and you will only be truly happy in the afterlife, inshaAllah. the latter part may be true, but i dont doubt things like sincerity, brother/sisterhood (such a powerful thing), piety, being TRUE and REAL and all that good green stuff. im tellin you, that stuff is real. its not imaginary. and just because we one day come into contact with the "real world" where things are ugly and gritty, we forget all these things and say "i have never experienced any good."
middle path.
sure we're all gonna die. the Prophet SAW knew that better than anyone, and yet the amount of love and genuine compassion he showed towards mankind in general was nothing short of amazing. why spend hours upon hours of qiyam at night time until his heels would bleed, begging Allah to help and save this Ummah - THIS UMMAH, that means every single one of us, you and I - why would anybody do that if "lifes a [bleep] and then you die"?
...[more if it comes to me]
i think there was a topic on islamica about where you see yourself in 10 years. i dunno, but my initial response was: prolly be dead. i dunno, is it just me, or does anybody else get the feeling that theyre gonna die real young? i do. the other day i was so tired when i was driving, i almost got into a nasty car accident, but alhamdulillah Allah saved me, and my car. but after that i was thinking, you know, that coulda been IT. and i wudda died in Ramadan. how many close calls have i had? im thinking about it, and im like, every day, im dodging bullets. we all are. its so easy to die.
i was planning on going for Hajj this year, thinking hey, if i have the money, let me do it, fulfill my obligation, and be ready to "die". but now im not going, cuz i asked the shaykh about students who wanted to go to hajj (in the aalim program) and he was like nah, theyll miss too much. ALTHOUGH, now that i think about it, since i HAVE already somewhat studied Nahw and Sarf (sure its garbage but hey i did take the course) i might be allowed to kinda miss a lil bit since im "ahead" right? at least this first year. im starting late anyways tho. its starting after ramadan, and im not gonna come in until my semesters over. i dunno.
im gonna start rambling now.
past few weeks ive been thinkin bout this stuff a lot, dunno why tho. but the whole notion of living this life as a traveler seems so hard in todays society, where you're grounded to this dunya by so many things. all these shiny things we have, fancy homes and clothes and cars, just tie us down. it seems almost impossible to truly "live this life as a traveler".
but im beginning to think, sure its got to do with material things, but also nonmaterial things, like attitudes. sometimes we take things so seriously. little dents in our egoes or emotions, and we get hurt so bad. is it really gonna kill us? even if it does, it doesn't matter, we're just travelers. people get caught up in dramas to such an extent that it affects their health and its all they think or talk about. dude you're a traveler.
now that might sound like im holding an opinion that you shouldnt get attached to people in this life, and that feelings dont matter because in the end, everybodys gonna hurt you and you will only be truly happy in the afterlife, inshaAllah. the latter part may be true, but i dont doubt things like sincerity, brother/sisterhood (such a powerful thing), piety, being TRUE and REAL and all that good green stuff. im tellin you, that stuff is real. its not imaginary. and just because we one day come into contact with the "real world" where things are ugly and gritty, we forget all these things and say "i have never experienced any good."
middle path.
sure we're all gonna die. the Prophet SAW knew that better than anyone, and yet the amount of love and genuine compassion he showed towards mankind in general was nothing short of amazing. why spend hours upon hours of qiyam at night time until his heels would bleed, begging Allah to help and save this Ummah - THIS UMMAH, that means every single one of us, you and I - why would anybody do that if "lifes a [bleep] and then you die"?
...[more if it comes to me]
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
comedian
salaamu alaikum
so yesterday after coming back from the district court and receiving my penalty/fine/wutever, i went through a depression that lasted a few hours while i slept, went to school for class, but decided not to go and just sat on the computer for 2 hours bored as crap in K building. alhamdulillah tho, iftar time rolled thru, i came back to the masjid and played playground football with the hafidh school kids, and realizing that i hadn't reviewed for the day, ate iftar, took a shower, and crammed in the juz at the last second. then after taraweeh, i went to the gym and lost in a game of basketball (now wait and calm down, because obviously, ShakirSahab doesn't lose games of basketball, so one must understand the underlying notions that ShakirSahab actually let whoever he was playing win, and then everything fits in place again.)
but anyways, now that im not as blown as before, ill relate how it went. first of all, i should be a comedian, because i had the entire court room laughing (with me >_>) and im pretty sure i made the judge's - who was a pretty ok lady (dont wanna say "nice" cuz she did give me that point at the end) - day. im serious, she shoulda dropped the thing just for being funny.
so i go up and start talking. i had written something down the night before, but when i went up there, any coherency i had on paper was lost.
i was like look, i know i shouldn't have been speeding, but i was on 29, and it was completely empty, im driving my dad's car, and i was late for a class, so i didn't notice how fast i was going. she asks me:
* * *
you have a class at 9:00PM?
yea, and class at my local community center.
at 9:00??? what kind of class is this?
an arabic class.
oh really? when does it end though?
around 11.
oh ok (satisfied)
* * *
so then im like, see the thing is I NEVER SPEED, i just get caught at the worst times. everybody starts laughing. so does the judge. im thinking 'good'. so then im like LOOK, i KNOW that 29 is the LAST place i wanna speed, cuz thats where the cops camp out, i KNOW THAT, so i dont even think bout going over the speed limit on that highway, especially when its empty, its just that that day, i was late for a class and i was just trying to make it on time.
meanwhile theyre all having a pretty good laugh, and shes like, "oh so you never speed but you get caught at the worst times?" im like yea. at this point im thinking, man i gotta use everything i got. so i pull the "i was going with the flow of traffic" card, and everybody is laughing at my great excuses. im like whatever, no use stopping now. so then i tell her how my 18 months are gonna be over in 2 months, and she just simply says, "not any more". i was like barrrrrrrrrr. bastard lady.
so as a final resort, before she can issue a sentencing i pick up the citation and im like, YO, (i actually did say YO in the court room by accident while i was explaining how i never speed and am such a good driver) my name is MISSPELLED on the citation, so TECHNICALLY, i dont even know who this guy is!!!
shes like, oh really, how do you spell ur name. i tell her, she writes it down somewhere, and says, they got ur last name right right? "yes". its all good then.
then she asks bout my previous ticket, and im like i got none. and shes like yea you do. and i go i was not guilty for that. and shes like yea you were. i go no i wasnt. and she goes did you pay a fine? i say yes. and she says that if you paid, then you were found guilty, but were on probation.
and then she says so youre on your provisionals? yes.
you're under 18????? yes.
so you know your parents were supposed to be notified about this? yes.
do they know? yea.
where are they? uhh, at home?
so they know about the ticket? yeaa (wth does she want?)
what did they say? to come here
(audience laughs)
SMH, what the hell do my parents have to do with anything. anyways, that was it. in the end, she said shed bring the speed down to 64 and that makes it one point, and that i should be careful. i stepped away from the podium thing and half expected applause and was thinking about bowing, but i decided not to...
instead i walked into the middle of the room and yelled, "[bleep] THE POLICE NIGGGAAAA!!@!!!" then stole their donuts and ran away.
EDIT: i just posted this on islamica, lets see if i get rep points.....
so yesterday after coming back from the district court and receiving my penalty/fine/wutever, i went through a depression that lasted a few hours while i slept, went to school for class, but decided not to go and just sat on the computer for 2 hours bored as crap in K building. alhamdulillah tho, iftar time rolled thru, i came back to the masjid and played playground football with the hafidh school kids, and realizing that i hadn't reviewed for the day, ate iftar, took a shower, and crammed in the juz at the last second. then after taraweeh, i went to the gym and lost in a game of basketball (now wait and calm down, because obviously, ShakirSahab doesn't lose games of basketball, so one must understand the underlying notions that ShakirSahab actually let whoever he was playing win, and then everything fits in place again.)
but anyways, now that im not as blown as before, ill relate how it went. first of all, i should be a comedian, because i had the entire court room laughing (with me >_>) and im pretty sure i made the judge's - who was a pretty ok lady (dont wanna say "nice" cuz she did give me that point at the end) - day. im serious, she shoulda dropped the thing just for being funny.
so i go up and start talking. i had written something down the night before, but when i went up there, any coherency i had on paper was lost.
i was like look, i know i shouldn't have been speeding, but i was on 29, and it was completely empty, im driving my dad's car, and i was late for a class, so i didn't notice how fast i was going. she asks me:
* * *
you have a class at 9:00PM?
yea, and class at my local community center.
at 9:00??? what kind of class is this?
an arabic class.
oh really? when does it end though?
around 11.
oh ok (satisfied)
* * *
so then im like, see the thing is I NEVER SPEED, i just get caught at the worst times. everybody starts laughing. so does the judge. im thinking 'good'. so then im like LOOK, i KNOW that 29 is the LAST place i wanna speed, cuz thats where the cops camp out, i KNOW THAT, so i dont even think bout going over the speed limit on that highway, especially when its empty, its just that that day, i was late for a class and i was just trying to make it on time.
meanwhile theyre all having a pretty good laugh, and shes like, "oh so you never speed but you get caught at the worst times?" im like yea. at this point im thinking, man i gotta use everything i got. so i pull the "i was going with the flow of traffic" card, and everybody is laughing at my great excuses. im like whatever, no use stopping now. so then i tell her how my 18 months are gonna be over in 2 months, and she just simply says, "not any more". i was like barrrrrrrrrr. bastard lady.
so as a final resort, before she can issue a sentencing i pick up the citation and im like, YO, (i actually did say YO in the court room by accident while i was explaining how i never speed and am such a good driver) my name is MISSPELLED on the citation, so TECHNICALLY, i dont even know who this guy is!!!
shes like, oh really, how do you spell ur name. i tell her, she writes it down somewhere, and says, they got ur last name right right? "yes". its all good then.
then she asks bout my previous ticket, and im like i got none. and shes like yea you do. and i go i was not guilty for that. and shes like yea you were. i go no i wasnt. and she goes did you pay a fine? i say yes. and she says that if you paid, then you were found guilty, but were on probation.
and then she says so youre on your provisionals? yes.
you're under 18????? yes.
so you know your parents were supposed to be notified about this? yes.
do they know? yea.
where are they? uhh, at home?
so they know about the ticket? yeaa (wth does she want?)
what did they say? to come here
(audience laughs)
SMH, what the hell do my parents have to do with anything. anyways, that was it. in the end, she said shed bring the speed down to 64 and that makes it one point, and that i should be careful. i stepped away from the podium thing and half expected applause and was thinking about bowing, but i decided not to...
instead i walked into the middle of the room and yelled, "[bleep] THE POLICE NIGGGAAAA!!@!!!" then stole their donuts and ran away.
EDIT: i just posted this on islamica, lets see if i get rep points.....
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
cuz i'm young and i'm black and my hats real low...
salaamu alaikum
man one of these days imma run from the police, just so i can provoke them to DO SOMETHING while theyre on the job and getting paid besides sitting and chilling in their fancy crown vics and clocking people for going 2 miles over the speed limit. bastards. no really, they dont do anything but sit on the side of the highway and give ppl tickets. go stop violence, stop the drug traffic, do something else besides exploiting other ppl's misfortunes. SMH
yes, i just got back from the court house after a near accident and death experience (another story) trying to fight my ticket. FIRST OF ALL, they had my name wrong on the citation. i tried that card but the judge lady was like, well ur last name is correct, so its all good. nice excuse eh, not my fault the officer can't spell my friggin name. technically i dunno who the hell HAMMOND HAI is...
to make a long story short, even though i had the entire court room laughing at my pretty elaborate excuse for speeding, she didnt drop it. instead she took it down to 1 point. SOOOO, that means that my 18 months are gonna start over again!!! bastards.
and soon i got the court thing for the old geezer lady thats sueing me after half a year. 10,000 dollars, mashaAllah. you old rich lady, what do you need all that money for!?!??!?!?!??!? to give to your son so he can go to a fancy private school!?!??! maybe im wrong and shes not rich. either way, shes exploiting me. i wouldnt have sued her. cuz shes old.
lemme go play some killer instinct to vent this frustration.
lets go fulgore.
man one of these days imma run from the police, just so i can provoke them to DO SOMETHING while theyre on the job and getting paid besides sitting and chilling in their fancy crown vics and clocking people for going 2 miles over the speed limit. bastards. no really, they dont do anything but sit on the side of the highway and give ppl tickets. go stop violence, stop the drug traffic, do something else besides exploiting other ppl's misfortunes. SMH
yes, i just got back from the court house after a near accident and death experience (another story) trying to fight my ticket. FIRST OF ALL, they had my name wrong on the citation. i tried that card but the judge lady was like, well ur last name is correct, so its all good. nice excuse eh, not my fault the officer can't spell my friggin name. technically i dunno who the hell HAMMOND HAI is...
to make a long story short, even though i had the entire court room laughing at my pretty elaborate excuse for speeding, she didnt drop it. instead she took it down to 1 point. SOOOO, that means that my 18 months are gonna start over again!!! bastards.
and soon i got the court thing for the old geezer lady thats sueing me after half a year. 10,000 dollars, mashaAllah. you old rich lady, what do you need all that money for!?!??!?!?!??!? to give to your son so he can go to a fancy private school!?!??! maybe im wrong and shes not rich. either way, shes exploiting me. i wouldnt have sued her. cuz shes old.
lemme go play some killer instinct to vent this frustration.
lets go fulgore.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
reminiscing on the past times
salaamu alaikum
ahh today i went and beat killer instinct and super street fighter 2 on Super Nintendo. i used to play those games like a fiend. i swear, me and my boy would ditch taraweeh to come and play video games for hours n hours. good times.
that was back when i had enough sleep that i could wake up at 7 AM automatically and watch sonic or ronin warriors or something. man im laggin on sleep, and its bad. cuz its not the "no sleep in 3 days" type of thing, its the "too little sleep over the course of about 2 weeks now", and i know its hittin me now cuz the other day, while driving, i got spots in my vision. it looked like how when rain hits the windshield, cept there was no rain or water, and it didnt happen on my windshield, just random spots in my vision and then they disappeared. 3 of em. pop pop pop, and then gone.
and today, during taraweeh, all of a sudden i couldn't feel my legs. my entire lower body became "detached" and i was having an outer body experience. im serious, i could feel my (upper) body still while it was reading quran (im still reading while this whole bizarre thing is happening) and it feels like "I" am spinning slowly in circles, away from my body, and outside of it. then the fan came around towards my body and blew air at me, and i almost stumbled. i was like whoa man, lemme hurry up and go into ruku so i can feel my legs again.
never happened to me before in my life man. and now imma go and do my homework for tomorrow.
ahh today i went and beat killer instinct and super street fighter 2 on Super Nintendo. i used to play those games like a fiend. i swear, me and my boy would ditch taraweeh to come and play video games for hours n hours. good times.
that was back when i had enough sleep that i could wake up at 7 AM automatically and watch sonic or ronin warriors or something. man im laggin on sleep, and its bad. cuz its not the "no sleep in 3 days" type of thing, its the "too little sleep over the course of about 2 weeks now", and i know its hittin me now cuz the other day, while driving, i got spots in my vision. it looked like how when rain hits the windshield, cept there was no rain or water, and it didnt happen on my windshield, just random spots in my vision and then they disappeared. 3 of em. pop pop pop, and then gone.
and today, during taraweeh, all of a sudden i couldn't feel my legs. my entire lower body became "detached" and i was having an outer body experience. im serious, i could feel my (upper) body still while it was reading quran (im still reading while this whole bizarre thing is happening) and it feels like "I" am spinning slowly in circles, away from my body, and outside of it. then the fan came around towards my body and blew air at me, and i almost stumbled. i was like whoa man, lemme hurry up and go into ruku so i can feel my legs again.
never happened to me before in my life man. and now imma go and do my homework for tomorrow.
Friday, October 14, 2005
salaamu alaikum
man im so screwed today. thanks to a certain classmate of mine, yesterday i got no sleep, "studying" for our philo discussion today. ya right. just killed brain cells trynna argue with him. and this morning? no suhoor. why? first 100 cars at the shell on 40 today got free gas. starting at 5AM, i was waiting in line for an hour. suhoor time is over, and i drive out of there with 20 bucks of free gas. was it worth it? i dunno
i just woke up from about 45 minutes of sleep, which is the worst, and i dunno if i should be operating machinery. oh well, time to go ahead and try.
man im so screwed today. thanks to a certain classmate of mine, yesterday i got no sleep, "studying" for our philo discussion today. ya right. just killed brain cells trynna argue with him. and this morning? no suhoor. why? first 100 cars at the shell on 40 today got free gas. starting at 5AM, i was waiting in line for an hour. suhoor time is over, and i drive out of there with 20 bucks of free gas. was it worth it? i dunno
i just woke up from about 45 minutes of sleep, which is the worst, and i dunno if i should be operating machinery. oh well, time to go ahead and try.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
salaamu alaikum
my plan failed. :-(
i read pretty slow today, hoping that the same uncles that were talkin to me yesterday bout going too fast would get tired of standing the whole time and ask me to speed up a lil bit. after 4 rakahs i heard them talking in the back, saying SOMEthing about the length of the rakahs, but then they just said that it was a good pace. something something something. we only finished like maybe 10 minutes later than usual too. i guess thats just how its gonna be now. its cool with me, the only thing that semi-not-even-really bothers me is that they got me.
yup, they got me.
my plan failed. :-(
i read pretty slow today, hoping that the same uncles that were talkin to me yesterday bout going too fast would get tired of standing the whole time and ask me to speed up a lil bit. after 4 rakahs i heard them talking in the back, saying SOMEthing about the length of the rakahs, but then they just said that it was a good pace. something something something. we only finished like maybe 10 minutes later than usual too. i guess thats just how its gonna be now. its cool with me, the only thing that semi-not-even-really bothers me is that they got me.
yup, they got me.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
salaamu alaikum
so today after Taraweeh, some dude kinda "went off" on me in a milder sense tho, about how i should slow down my recitation and how im reading too fast and stuff. first of all, i try to read as fast as i can WITH ALL the tajweed rules INTACT. second of all, what am I supposed to do? they only give me 12 raka'at, and i gotta read the wholeJUZ and a HALF in those 12. the first 8 they give to the students of their sunday school, and they read random short surahs from random places, and then when theyre done, then i get to lead the remaining 12.
honestly, i dont care. if they want me to read slower, ILL READ SLOWER. the ONLY reason i try to read fast is for THEIR sake, because the Raka's are ridiculously long even with the speed im reciting at. if they want me to read slower, they better be prepared for some reallllllllly long raka's. when i told them this, they were like you don't even have to read a juz and a half! just read a QUARTER!? its not fard to finish the quran! thats just desi mentality.
after that i stopped talking and just gave them the stoneface. -_-
i remember they told me that last year when they first met me. i was like yo, im finishing the quran. no its not cuz i think its fard. but because its a goal for ME. it superglues my quran back together.
on a sidenote: im on a ramadan high.
so today after Taraweeh, some dude kinda "went off" on me in a milder sense tho, about how i should slow down my recitation and how im reading too fast and stuff. first of all, i try to read as fast as i can WITH ALL the tajweed rules INTACT. second of all, what am I supposed to do? they only give me 12 raka'at, and i gotta read the wholeJUZ and a HALF in those 12. the first 8 they give to the students of their sunday school, and they read random short surahs from random places, and then when theyre done, then i get to lead the remaining 12.
honestly, i dont care. if they want me to read slower, ILL READ SLOWER. the ONLY reason i try to read fast is for THEIR sake, because the Raka's are ridiculously long even with the speed im reciting at. if they want me to read slower, they better be prepared for some reallllllllly long raka's. when i told them this, they were like you don't even have to read a juz and a half! just read a QUARTER!? its not fard to finish the quran! thats just desi mentality.
after that i stopped talking and just gave them the stoneface. -_-
i remember they told me that last year when they first met me. i was like yo, im finishing the quran. no its not cuz i think its fard. but because its a goal for ME. it superglues my quran back together.
on a sidenote: im on a ramadan high.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
salaamu alaikum :D
ahh, always good and bad.
good news: i just got a whole rack of 50$ gas cards, so I won't have to worry bout paying for gas for a while.
bad news: the old lady involved in my accident from a while back finally decides she wants to sue me.
Ya Allah, please correct my affairs in the best of ways. Ameen.
ahh, always good and bad.
good news: i just got a whole rack of 50$ gas cards, so I won't have to worry bout paying for gas for a while.
bad news: the old lady involved in my accident from a while back finally decides she wants to sue me.
Ya Allah, please correct my affairs in the best of ways. Ameen.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Salaamu Alaikum
posted this on Islamica just now:
Assalaamu Alaikum
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
Al Hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Aalameen.
Islamicans, I need your help in refining this argument. Basically the other day in my philosophy class, the professor was talking about how God is associated with certain attributes, such as All-Good, All-Powerful, All-Knowing. And he was like, even if you could prove the existence of some diety out there, how would you prove that he has such qualities? Thing is, he uses Christianity as an example of ridiculous claims a lot, and sometimes he'll talk about Judaism, and it looks like he actually knows some stuff about both. But he has not mentioned Islam yet, and I'm beginning to think that he hasn't studied or looked into Islam yet. Either way, I wanted to form an argument about the existance of God along with His attributes by using the Quran:
Before I start, I just wanna say that these are numbered cuz thats the order. Until I establish each one, I would not go to the next one, because it would circle back to an earlier point. I'm sure everybody knew that.
1. First thing I would establish is that the Prophet Muhammad SAW was an unlettered man, and maybe throw in a bit about his character. But really establishing that he was no philosopher or anything like that; he could neither read nor write. I wouldn't go past this issue until it was established and agreed upon, and for that I'd need outside historical sources. Where would I find those?
2. The Arabs lived in an isolated society. They were not advanced in their thinking, but were sinking into ignorance and vice. Again, outside historical proofs would be needed so these things can be established. Basically establish the scenario in which Islam popped off.
3. The Quran: How it has been unchanged for 1400 years. How the Prophet could not have written it. How his companions could not have got together and written it. How the Muslims in later times could not have slowly completed it, adding things here and there. How it is memorized and preserved.
4. Because it is unchanged and original, then discuss its miracles such as the prophecies that have came true. The scientific facts it provides that have only recently been discovered. The challenge that it has issued and which still remains today.
Thus, ESTABLISHING the legitimacy of the Quran, and proving it could NOT have been written by Men. Now here, I'm kinda confused as to how to make the leap from "Not Man Made" to "Divinely Revealed by God". The line of logic I was planning on using was like this:
Everything that can be proved true or false in the Quran, (such as the prophecies, scientific facts) have been proven true, and none have been proven false. So as for the things that cannot be scientifically TESTED, like God being Allah, Allah being One, His Attributes, it would be unfair/unethical/dishonest (dunno the correct word that I'm trying to use) to say that these parts are FALSE based on mere POSSIBILITY. Because if everything else in the book is true, why say these parts are false without proof? (Makes sense in my head.)
SO THUS:
5. Since the Quran is true, the Quran claims that there is a God, and that God is Allah, and Allah has such and such attributes.
I asked a brother bout this logic and if it was flawed, and he said yes it was. I'm not sure how exactly, so maybe somebody can explain. InshaAllah, I'm hoping you guys can help me with a few things.
1. The argument. Flaws. Help me refine it. Anything at all.
2. The Proofs. HOW do I ESTABLISH beyond argument that the Prophet SAW was unlettered. And the Arabs lived in such a society. And that the Quran has been unchanged. I can't use religious proofs like the Hadith for the Prophet's life. I would need outside sources. Same for the Arab lifestyle. What's good Islamica?
WHATS GOOD!?!?!??
Oh, and try and keep it simple for me, please. I'm really pretty stupid, so if you decide to go Russell status on me, I'm gonna hafto skip your post.
Jazaakumullahu Khairan.
posted this on Islamica just now:
Assalaamu Alaikum
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
Al Hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Aalameen.
Islamicans, I need your help in refining this argument. Basically the other day in my philosophy class, the professor was talking about how God is associated with certain attributes, such as All-Good, All-Powerful, All-Knowing. And he was like, even if you could prove the existence of some diety out there, how would you prove that he has such qualities? Thing is, he uses Christianity as an example of ridiculous claims a lot, and sometimes he'll talk about Judaism, and it looks like he actually knows some stuff about both. But he has not mentioned Islam yet, and I'm beginning to think that he hasn't studied or looked into Islam yet. Either way, I wanted to form an argument about the existance of God along with His attributes by using the Quran:
Before I start, I just wanna say that these are numbered cuz thats the order. Until I establish each one, I would not go to the next one, because it would circle back to an earlier point. I'm sure everybody knew that.
1. First thing I would establish is that the Prophet Muhammad SAW was an unlettered man, and maybe throw in a bit about his character. But really establishing that he was no philosopher or anything like that; he could neither read nor write. I wouldn't go past this issue until it was established and agreed upon, and for that I'd need outside historical sources. Where would I find those?
2. The Arabs lived in an isolated society. They were not advanced in their thinking, but were sinking into ignorance and vice. Again, outside historical proofs would be needed so these things can be established. Basically establish the scenario in which Islam popped off.
3. The Quran: How it has been unchanged for 1400 years. How the Prophet could not have written it. How his companions could not have got together and written it. How the Muslims in later times could not have slowly completed it, adding things here and there. How it is memorized and preserved.
4. Because it is unchanged and original, then discuss its miracles such as the prophecies that have came true. The scientific facts it provides that have only recently been discovered. The challenge that it has issued and which still remains today.
Thus, ESTABLISHING the legitimacy of the Quran, and proving it could NOT have been written by Men. Now here, I'm kinda confused as to how to make the leap from "Not Man Made" to "Divinely Revealed by God". The line of logic I was planning on using was like this:
Everything that can be proved true or false in the Quran, (such as the prophecies, scientific facts) have been proven true, and none have been proven false. So as for the things that cannot be scientifically TESTED, like God being Allah, Allah being One, His Attributes, it would be unfair/unethical/dishonest (dunno the correct word that I'm trying to use) to say that these parts are FALSE based on mere POSSIBILITY. Because if everything else in the book is true, why say these parts are false without proof? (Makes sense in my head.)
SO THUS:
5. Since the Quran is true, the Quran claims that there is a God, and that God is Allah, and Allah has such and such attributes.
I asked a brother bout this logic and if it was flawed, and he said yes it was. I'm not sure how exactly, so maybe somebody can explain. InshaAllah, I'm hoping you guys can help me with a few things.
1. The argument. Flaws. Help me refine it. Anything at all.
2. The Proofs. HOW do I ESTABLISH beyond argument that the Prophet SAW was unlettered. And the Arabs lived in such a society. And that the Quran has been unchanged. I can't use religious proofs like the Hadith for the Prophet's life. I would need outside sources. Same for the Arab lifestyle. What's good Islamica?
WHATS GOOD!?!?!??
Oh, and try and keep it simple for me, please. I'm really pretty stupid, so if you decide to go Russell status on me, I'm gonna hafto skip your post.
Jazaakumullahu Khairan.
Monday, October 03, 2005
salaamu alaikum
so since the maxima broke down on me (transmission died) we had it towed from the highway where it left us stranded to some gas station. after finding out how much a new tranny plus labor would cost, (starting from a G and going up) we decided we wouldn't bother with it, and its going to the junk yard. so im like, hell no im not donating the speakers to a junkyard so some random fiend can go and pick em for 10 bones. so me and a friend go to the gas station to take out the nice, Pioneer, aftermarket speakers (which i never really got to use cuz i never installed a tape deck OR CD player after the first one got stolen). so ive opened up the door panel before to fix the busted window motor, so i know where the door speakers are. i take those out easily. almost there.
the ones in the back however, i have absolutely no idea how to take out. you can see them if you open the trunk - thats where the wires all all hooked up - but theyre screwed in from the top. and when you go from inside to somehow remove the top, its like impossible. it just wasnt happening. so my friend has the ingenius idea to "take out the back windshield" so we have more room to work with. so he unscrews some random screws n stuff, and then starts peeling away at the rubber lining surrounding the glass. he takes a flathead and tries to prop the windshield up. meanwhile, im still trynna figure out how to remove the top without using an axe or something. all i hear is BOOOM, like somebody juss busted a cap into the windshield, and this big piece of glass falls on me and the place im workin. i jump back, look up and theres a huge hole in the glass, and the rest of it is just splintering and getting ready to shatter. you can see the lines snake thru the wholllle thing, and you can hear the tiny cackles and cracking.
woohoo. whats done is done. i was actually thinking about maybe selling the car for parts, like you know, get 100 or 200 bucks off the vehicle, but now i was juss like whatever, this thing is junk. oh and we were getting raped by mosquitos this whole time too, and since the doors were open, im pretty sure they found a whole lot of new places to live. anyways, so he busts out his phone that has a slick lil recording camera thing, and records us taking screwdrivers and just busting thru the rest of the glass, then we proceed to rip apart the top thats denying us access to the speakers, while shards of glass are falling all over us and our hands are getting lil tiny cuts everywhere.
in the end, we did remove the speakers safely. alhamdulillah. :D
so since the maxima broke down on me (transmission died) we had it towed from the highway where it left us stranded to some gas station. after finding out how much a new tranny plus labor would cost, (starting from a G and going up) we decided we wouldn't bother with it, and its going to the junk yard. so im like, hell no im not donating the speakers to a junkyard so some random fiend can go and pick em for 10 bones. so me and a friend go to the gas station to take out the nice, Pioneer, aftermarket speakers (which i never really got to use cuz i never installed a tape deck OR CD player after the first one got stolen). so ive opened up the door panel before to fix the busted window motor, so i know where the door speakers are. i take those out easily. almost there.
the ones in the back however, i have absolutely no idea how to take out. you can see them if you open the trunk - thats where the wires all all hooked up - but theyre screwed in from the top. and when you go from inside to somehow remove the top, its like impossible. it just wasnt happening. so my friend has the ingenius idea to "take out the back windshield" so we have more room to work with. so he unscrews some random screws n stuff, and then starts peeling away at the rubber lining surrounding the glass. he takes a flathead and tries to prop the windshield up. meanwhile, im still trynna figure out how to remove the top without using an axe or something. all i hear is BOOOM, like somebody juss busted a cap into the windshield, and this big piece of glass falls on me and the place im workin. i jump back, look up and theres a huge hole in the glass, and the rest of it is just splintering and getting ready to shatter. you can see the lines snake thru the wholllle thing, and you can hear the tiny cackles and cracking.
woohoo. whats done is done. i was actually thinking about maybe selling the car for parts, like you know, get 100 or 200 bucks off the vehicle, but now i was juss like whatever, this thing is junk. oh and we were getting raped by mosquitos this whole time too, and since the doors were open, im pretty sure they found a whole lot of new places to live. anyways, so he busts out his phone that has a slick lil recording camera thing, and records us taking screwdrivers and just busting thru the rest of the glass, then we proceed to rip apart the top thats denying us access to the speakers, while shards of glass are falling all over us and our hands are getting lil tiny cuts everywhere.
in the end, we did remove the speakers safely. alhamdulillah. :D
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
salaamu alaikum
"pocket qurans are cool but how do you manage to carry it around so taht it doesnt suffer any disrespect? loosely being thrown around, etC? isnt it kinda hard? ive been wanting to bring a quraan with me to school but its semi risky i feel. "
i used to have the same dilemma. how to carry it around without disrespecting it? i was always taught to not even hold the quran like any other book, and hold it up to my chest with my right hand, just for respect. for pocket qurans tho, its all gravy if you got the upper shirt pockets, as long as you dont go in the bathroom n stuff, but i dont always rock shirts with pockets up there. i usually dont actually. so for me, its a matter of necessity. i havent been reviewing lately, at all, and ramadan is less than a week away. i dont put the quran in my bookbag cuz that thing gets thrown around, put on the ground, etc. not in my back pocket cuz id sit on it. i do put it in my regular side pocket, and i try to take as much care of it as possible.
an extreme example is the super glorified, glitterified, shrined Qurans that adorn the top of people's shelves, but theyre never taken down. never read through even once. They just collect dust. i think thats the greatest disrespect. you see a student of quran's Mus'haf, and you can tell how many juz they know. Because half the pages will be in perfect shape, and then when it gets near the end, the pages are ripped, half coming out, SWOLLEN. because these pages are sifted through everyday, all the time. they are read, all the time. the Quran is not just the book, but the words.
WALLAHI, i'm not any more attached to the quran than anybody else. and of all people, I should be. but i'm not. during the time of the sahaba, if you would walk through the streets at nighttime, the houses would be radiating with the recitation of Quran, during tahajjud hours. like the buzzing of bees. i remember a brother gave a small talk on how the sahaba would review their quran. they would have a set amount they would read every NIGHT, and finish every week. this is only how they would review. recitation was their passtime, their hobby. Imam Shafii read the quran like six times in a day JUST to find an ayah that was proof for Qiyas. these people lived the quran. and today, we can barely read a few ayat besides what we read in prayer without feeling tired.
yea, so i kinda went off on a tangent. it wasnt aimed at anybody but me though. i gotta say this stuff sometimes so i can get affected too. but back to the topic, i need this pocket quran to review. i keep it in my pocket, and even though thats not the best place, its better than me not reading at all. especially during ramadan.
ramadan: here comes the challenges i was talking about earlier. i cant refuse challenges. basically, a brother came up to me last night at isha, and told me to finish taraweeh in annapolis early. like the 21st or something. then come back to ISB, and do a late session taraweeh for the cats who are gonna be staying in I'tikaaf. last year, this one brother did that. his taraweeh would be after the main taraweeh ended, starting at like 11:00 and ending around 1 or 2. but he read 5 juz the first night. 3 the second. etc. finished in 10 days.
yall are prolly like why? basically, even though it isnt required, people wanna hear the entire quran during Ramadan. but they also wanna go masjid hopping and hear different ppl. different masajid go at different paces. so if they leave one night to go to a different place, and they come back, they might miss a small portion, because the two jama'ahs might be at different places. so they just wanna finish the quran, so then they can go around and go to any taraweeh they want. something like that. cept this is not gonna be in the beginning, but at the end. so its more for the ppl of i'tikaaf.
but dude asked me to do that. finish in annapolis, then come to ISB and do these late night sessions and finish again in a few days for the brothers in i'tikaaf. they will listen to an entire quran. they wont be up at night gossiping like little girls (it happens). and itll be a form of tahajjud. and itll only help me as well. i was like hey
i'm game.
i gotta talk to my teacher about it today so he can talk to the annapolis ppl and tell them when im finishing n stuff. but about challenges, theyre fun. occasionally, i like pushing myself. (not in school tho, god forbid 0_0) its the priceless feeling of adrenaline as youre scrambling to make ends meet, get ready, be ready, and make it thru, and then relaxing afterwards. the best time of the day during ramadan is RIGHT after you finish witr. like yessss, i actually made it thru THIS juz! its all easy from here. then the next morning youre worried bout that night.
haha, funny how i started this off as a comment to the previous post and it turned into this. i got class in 20 mins. so imma end this off riiiiight here.
walaikum assalaam
EDIT: i just read thru this, and i realize how incoherent this whole thing was. s-m-h.
"pocket qurans are cool but how do you manage to carry it around so taht it doesnt suffer any disrespect? loosely being thrown around, etC? isnt it kinda hard? ive been wanting to bring a quraan with me to school but its semi risky i feel. "
i used to have the same dilemma. how to carry it around without disrespecting it? i was always taught to not even hold the quran like any other book, and hold it up to my chest with my right hand, just for respect. for pocket qurans tho, its all gravy if you got the upper shirt pockets, as long as you dont go in the bathroom n stuff, but i dont always rock shirts with pockets up there. i usually dont actually. so for me, its a matter of necessity. i havent been reviewing lately, at all, and ramadan is less than a week away. i dont put the quran in my bookbag cuz that thing gets thrown around, put on the ground, etc. not in my back pocket cuz id sit on it. i do put it in my regular side pocket, and i try to take as much care of it as possible.
an extreme example is the super glorified, glitterified, shrined Qurans that adorn the top of people's shelves, but theyre never taken down. never read through even once. They just collect dust. i think thats the greatest disrespect. you see a student of quran's Mus'haf, and you can tell how many juz they know. Because half the pages will be in perfect shape, and then when it gets near the end, the pages are ripped, half coming out, SWOLLEN. because these pages are sifted through everyday, all the time. they are read, all the time. the Quran is not just the book, but the words.
WALLAHI, i'm not any more attached to the quran than anybody else. and of all people, I should be. but i'm not. during the time of the sahaba, if you would walk through the streets at nighttime, the houses would be radiating with the recitation of Quran, during tahajjud hours. like the buzzing of bees. i remember a brother gave a small talk on how the sahaba would review their quran. they would have a set amount they would read every NIGHT, and finish every week. this is only how they would review. recitation was their passtime, their hobby. Imam Shafii read the quran like six times in a day JUST to find an ayah that was proof for Qiyas. these people lived the quran. and today, we can barely read a few ayat besides what we read in prayer without feeling tired.
yea, so i kinda went off on a tangent. it wasnt aimed at anybody but me though. i gotta say this stuff sometimes so i can get affected too. but back to the topic, i need this pocket quran to review. i keep it in my pocket, and even though thats not the best place, its better than me not reading at all. especially during ramadan.
ramadan: here comes the challenges i was talking about earlier. i cant refuse challenges. basically, a brother came up to me last night at isha, and told me to finish taraweeh in annapolis early. like the 21st or something. then come back to ISB, and do a late session taraweeh for the cats who are gonna be staying in I'tikaaf. last year, this one brother did that. his taraweeh would be after the main taraweeh ended, starting at like 11:00 and ending around 1 or 2. but he read 5 juz the first night. 3 the second. etc. finished in 10 days.
yall are prolly like why? basically, even though it isnt required, people wanna hear the entire quran during Ramadan. but they also wanna go masjid hopping and hear different ppl. different masajid go at different paces. so if they leave one night to go to a different place, and they come back, they might miss a small portion, because the two jama'ahs might be at different places. so they just wanna finish the quran, so then they can go around and go to any taraweeh they want. something like that. cept this is not gonna be in the beginning, but at the end. so its more for the ppl of i'tikaaf.
but dude asked me to do that. finish in annapolis, then come to ISB and do these late night sessions and finish again in a few days for the brothers in i'tikaaf. they will listen to an entire quran. they wont be up at night gossiping like little girls (it happens). and itll be a form of tahajjud. and itll only help me as well. i was like hey
i'm game.
i gotta talk to my teacher about it today so he can talk to the annapolis ppl and tell them when im finishing n stuff. but about challenges, theyre fun. occasionally, i like pushing myself. (not in school tho, god forbid 0_0) its the priceless feeling of adrenaline as youre scrambling to make ends meet, get ready, be ready, and make it thru, and then relaxing afterwards. the best time of the day during ramadan is RIGHT after you finish witr. like yessss, i actually made it thru THIS juz! its all easy from here. then the next morning youre worried bout that night.
haha, funny how i started this off as a comment to the previous post and it turned into this. i got class in 20 mins. so imma end this off riiiiight here.
walaikum assalaam
EDIT: i just read thru this, and i realize how incoherent this whole thing was. s-m-h.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
salaamu alaikum
i was actually gonna come in here and post something real. about challenges that i got presented with today. but i dont feel it right now. it would only be half hearted. ive been staring at this screen for maybe half an hour already. completely lost my appetite for this.
i did get a pocket 15 liner (quran) today. but that wudda been part of the stuff i was going to talk about.
its whatever.
Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah.
i was actually gonna come in here and post something real. about challenges that i got presented with today. but i dont feel it right now. it would only be half hearted. ive been staring at this screen for maybe half an hour already. completely lost my appetite for this.
i did get a pocket 15 liner (quran) today. but that wudda been part of the stuff i was going to talk about.
its whatever.
Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah.
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