assalaamu alaikum
inshaAllah, i will be leaving Bmore for NY tomorrow at 12:30PM. make duah that i have a safe trip there and back, and that my Hajj and Umrah is accepted by the mercy of Allah, ameen. i won't have my phone on me, and probably won't touch a computer for 3 weeks, so right now, i want to ask anybody and everybody who knows me, if i have done or said anything against you, please forgive me, as i have done for everybody, and Allah will reward you.
Jazaakumullahu Khairan.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Monday, December 26, 2005
'tis a sad day
assalaamu alaikum
i played ball today, came home, showered, and cut my hair. man, it was like parting with an old friend, cuz this was the first time that my hair got a little long without me getting dandruff, head getting all dry and itchy, and just being forced to cut it from frustration. it was nice hair. and long hair. i hadn't had long hair for a few years actually. and now its gone. back to the shape-up sized hair, just with no shape-up (i was lazy). but yeah, my intention of growing my hair out sunnah style is still on, but the reason i cut it was cuz i was going to have to cut it anyways for hajj. and since i'm about to travel, long journeys and the works, i don't need to make it worse by having long hair that's gonna get all dirty. so its gone.
my head is cold.
s-m-h
i played ball today, came home, showered, and cut my hair. man, it was like parting with an old friend, cuz this was the first time that my hair got a little long without me getting dandruff, head getting all dry and itchy, and just being forced to cut it from frustration. it was nice hair. and long hair. i hadn't had long hair for a few years actually. and now its gone. back to the shape-up sized hair, just with no shape-up (i was lazy). but yeah, my intention of growing my hair out sunnah style is still on, but the reason i cut it was cuz i was going to have to cut it anyways for hajj. and since i'm about to travel, long journeys and the works, i don't need to make it worse by having long hair that's gonna get all dirty. so its gone.
my head is cold.
s-m-h
Sunday, December 18, 2005
MARRIAGE post #1
SIKE...made ya look.
assalaamu alaikum
Imam Irfan mentioned something very interesting the other day, and it really scared me:
(paraphrased)
Imam Suyuti mentions that when the Prophets die, their miracles go up with them and are no more. for example, Musa AS's staff that he could throw down and turn it into a serpent; once he died, that miracle was also lifted up. when the Prophet Muhammad SAW died however, 2 miracles were left in this dunya after he departed, the first of which is obviously the Quran.
the second miracle has to do with the stoning of the Jamarat, the stone pillars that we pelt during hajj that represent the three places Shaitan came to Ibrahim AS. now for the servents of Allah who's Hajj is accepted, angels come down and take away the pebbles that they have thrown. that is why you are not supposed to pick up pebbles from the area of jamarat itself, because these are the pebbles that have been rejected.
and just think about it. if each and every one of the hujjaj throws around 49 pebbles into this same area, shouldn't there be mountains of pebbles piling up? even if before we didn't have the same number of people performing Hajj, say it wasn't in the millions, but still tens of thousands right? shouldn't the pebbles have started to pile up with all these people throwing them into the same place? but the saudi government has never had to do anything about this pile, because it simply never existed. until now. and thats the scary part. just recently, the saudi government has been required to remove the pebbles from the area of the jamarat, because the piles have begun to grow.
ya Allah, accept our Hajj and Umrah, and do not make us from those who's Hajj or Umrah has been rejected. Ameen ya rabbal Aalameen.
assalaamu alaikum
Imam Irfan mentioned something very interesting the other day, and it really scared me:
(paraphrased)
Imam Suyuti mentions that when the Prophets die, their miracles go up with them and are no more. for example, Musa AS's staff that he could throw down and turn it into a serpent; once he died, that miracle was also lifted up. when the Prophet Muhammad SAW died however, 2 miracles were left in this dunya after he departed, the first of which is obviously the Quran.
the second miracle has to do with the stoning of the Jamarat, the stone pillars that we pelt during hajj that represent the three places Shaitan came to Ibrahim AS. now for the servents of Allah who's Hajj is accepted, angels come down and take away the pebbles that they have thrown. that is why you are not supposed to pick up pebbles from the area of jamarat itself, because these are the pebbles that have been rejected.
and just think about it. if each and every one of the hujjaj throws around 49 pebbles into this same area, shouldn't there be mountains of pebbles piling up? even if before we didn't have the same number of people performing Hajj, say it wasn't in the millions, but still tens of thousands right? shouldn't the pebbles have started to pile up with all these people throwing them into the same place? but the saudi government has never had to do anything about this pile, because it simply never existed. until now. and thats the scary part. just recently, the saudi government has been required to remove the pebbles from the area of the jamarat, because the piles have begun to grow.
ya Allah, accept our Hajj and Umrah, and do not make us from those who's Hajj or Umrah has been rejected. Ameen ya rabbal Aalameen.
Friday, December 16, 2005
six feet deep
assalaamu alaikum
dr. iqbal passed away yesterday. inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi Raji'oon. he was in a coma for nearly a year and just recently woke up a few months ago, only to have a heart attack. may Allah make his sickness and suffering a means for his Forgiveness and grant him the highest of ranks in Jannah, Ameen. his family is awesome. his sons are all huffadh, 2 of them still studying their aalim course in buffalo, and one of them already a mufti in his twenties. he's my teacher and brother. we play football and basketball together. he would always be coming back and forth from the hospital, spending the entire day by his father's side and would only leave to come and teach us fiqh. inshaAllah, he will be one of the teachers in the Dar-ul-Uloom, may Allah bless him.
the janazah was today after jumu'ah. we went to the graveyard for the burial. there were so many people there, and not only from our community but from other communities in silver spring and laurel too. i was thinking about the concept of brotherhood, and how Allah could take into account the shere number of people attending a janazah to forgive His servants sins. when the Sahabah were asked about their fellow Muslim brothers, what would they say? "We know NOTHING about him but GOOD." really, how many of us can do this? and its such a big deal, because when a person dies, and people talk about him, Allah takes that into account as well.
i dunno, its always good to visit the graveyard and see the dirt that will become our bed very soon. the craziest thing is when you're actually inside the grave and helping prop the body up on its right side. sure, the 6 feet high walls of dirt that are surrounding you, the limp body (man dead weight is really heavy) draped in white sheets right next to you, the sides crumbling as dirt and mud fall into the hole as people try to get in and out have their affects, but what you won't notice until you are inside the grave is all the insects. there are so many insects, roaches, centi/milipedes, all those multi legged things you see on fear factor n stuff, they're crawling down there. waiting. just waiting for the body so they can feast on it. and you realize that that is what is going to happen to your body as well. you're gonna be eaten by tiny roaches in your grave. your mouth, ears, nose, hair, is going to decay and be food for the insects in the dirt.
"Every soul shall taste death."
check it out though. i got this problem every time i go to the graveyard, and its always clawing at the back of my mind. aren't we supposed to bury our own dead? aren't we supposed to bury the muslims? the muslims bury the muslims? if we are not even supposed to bury the muslims along with non muslims, should we let non muslims bury our dead?
...
then why do we let them use the machines to finish up what we started? after the body is placed into the hole, everybody is told to take 3 handfuls of dirt and throw it in, reading the ayah:
Minhaa Khalaqnakum, wa feeha nu'eedukum, wa minha nukhrijukum taaratan ukhra.
"From it We created you, and into it We shall return you, and from it We shall bring you out once again."
and then after that, they take shovels and start dropping down the dirt. it only lasts like 5 minutes tho before random uncles are like, "beta, leave it, they will do the rest." c'mon now. are you serious? we got like 100 heads over here! how long and how hard can it be to just finish the job? it seems so superficial to do a lil bit and then QUIT, and let the graveyard ppl come with the machines to finish it! whats that mean? we just wanted to feel good by thinking we were making a difference by scooping in a few shovelfuls of dirt?
i've felt this way ever since i followed a random janazah to the graveyard. it was still during my days in quran class. after prayer, my teacher told me to go to the graveyard with the janazah because there were only a handful of people going. literally, i could count them on a hand (and a half) if i wanted to. but anyways, we went to the graveyard, and after we put the body in, we started filling up the grave. after five minutes, the machine dudes came, but this handful of brothers i was with told him that they would do it themselves. it took a good 30 minutes of just shoveling dirt, but we did it. and wallahi, it feels so much more real and doing justice to the deceased by letting the muslims bury them. and its not hard or impossible. we did it with a few brothers. but when it comes to janazahs that have so many people, we can't take a few minutes and just finish the job instead of leaving it half done and giving up.
i dunno if i'm just making it unnecessarily hard on myself and others, but thats how i feel. i know that i would want to be buried by the people i knew and loved, and not some bobcat machine.
dr. iqbal passed away yesterday. inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi Raji'oon. he was in a coma for nearly a year and just recently woke up a few months ago, only to have a heart attack. may Allah make his sickness and suffering a means for his Forgiveness and grant him the highest of ranks in Jannah, Ameen. his family is awesome. his sons are all huffadh, 2 of them still studying their aalim course in buffalo, and one of them already a mufti in his twenties. he's my teacher and brother. we play football and basketball together. he would always be coming back and forth from the hospital, spending the entire day by his father's side and would only leave to come and teach us fiqh. inshaAllah, he will be one of the teachers in the Dar-ul-Uloom, may Allah bless him.
the janazah was today after jumu'ah. we went to the graveyard for the burial. there were so many people there, and not only from our community but from other communities in silver spring and laurel too. i was thinking about the concept of brotherhood, and how Allah could take into account the shere number of people attending a janazah to forgive His servants sins. when the Sahabah were asked about their fellow Muslim brothers, what would they say? "We know NOTHING about him but GOOD." really, how many of us can do this? and its such a big deal, because when a person dies, and people talk about him, Allah takes that into account as well.
i dunno, its always good to visit the graveyard and see the dirt that will become our bed very soon. the craziest thing is when you're actually inside the grave and helping prop the body up on its right side. sure, the 6 feet high walls of dirt that are surrounding you, the limp body (man dead weight is really heavy) draped in white sheets right next to you, the sides crumbling as dirt and mud fall into the hole as people try to get in and out have their affects, but what you won't notice until you are inside the grave is all the insects. there are so many insects, roaches, centi/milipedes, all those multi legged things you see on fear factor n stuff, they're crawling down there. waiting. just waiting for the body so they can feast on it. and you realize that that is what is going to happen to your body as well. you're gonna be eaten by tiny roaches in your grave. your mouth, ears, nose, hair, is going to decay and be food for the insects in the dirt.
"Every soul shall taste death."
check it out though. i got this problem every time i go to the graveyard, and its always clawing at the back of my mind. aren't we supposed to bury our own dead? aren't we supposed to bury the muslims? the muslims bury the muslims? if we are not even supposed to bury the muslims along with non muslims, should we let non muslims bury our dead?
...
then why do we let them use the machines to finish up what we started? after the body is placed into the hole, everybody is told to take 3 handfuls of dirt and throw it in, reading the ayah:
Minhaa Khalaqnakum, wa feeha nu'eedukum, wa minha nukhrijukum taaratan ukhra.
"From it We created you, and into it We shall return you, and from it We shall bring you out once again."
and then after that, they take shovels and start dropping down the dirt. it only lasts like 5 minutes tho before random uncles are like, "beta, leave it, they will do the rest." c'mon now. are you serious? we got like 100 heads over here! how long and how hard can it be to just finish the job? it seems so superficial to do a lil bit and then QUIT, and let the graveyard ppl come with the machines to finish it! whats that mean? we just wanted to feel good by thinking we were making a difference by scooping in a few shovelfuls of dirt?
i've felt this way ever since i followed a random janazah to the graveyard. it was still during my days in quran class. after prayer, my teacher told me to go to the graveyard with the janazah because there were only a handful of people going. literally, i could count them on a hand (and a half) if i wanted to. but anyways, we went to the graveyard, and after we put the body in, we started filling up the grave. after five minutes, the machine dudes came, but this handful of brothers i was with told him that they would do it themselves. it took a good 30 minutes of just shoveling dirt, but we did it. and wallahi, it feels so much more real and doing justice to the deceased by letting the muslims bury them. and its not hard or impossible. we did it with a few brothers. but when it comes to janazahs that have so many people, we can't take a few minutes and just finish the job instead of leaving it half done and giving up.
i dunno if i'm just making it unnecessarily hard on myself and others, but thats how i feel. i know that i would want to be buried by the people i knew and loved, and not some bobcat machine.
back to the future
assalaamu alaikum
alhamdulillah, i'm done with finals. finally. the last few weeks i haven't been able to think. like my mind is just foggy for some reason, and i'm just waiting for the semester to be over so bad that it just numbs my brain. i couldn't even get as hyped as i should be about going to hajj. iA tho, i can start now.
my body felt so bogged down during the week, and today we played some serious ball for the first time in a good 3 weeks. my legs are shot. i was out of breath. sweating. bout to have a heart attack. the whole works. it felt so good. came home. hot shower. fresh clothes. and it feels like i just released a whole lotta pent up something. stress? maybe or maybe not, cuz i don't think i was stressed out. more like i was in the slums. lack of stress or activity. i hate having nothing to do and just sitting in the house. i gotta be busy. i feel the best after a long (somewhat) productive tiring day.
alhamdulillah, i'm done with finals. finally. the last few weeks i haven't been able to think. like my mind is just foggy for some reason, and i'm just waiting for the semester to be over so bad that it just numbs my brain. i couldn't even get as hyped as i should be about going to hajj. iA tho, i can start now.
my body felt so bogged down during the week, and today we played some serious ball for the first time in a good 3 weeks. my legs are shot. i was out of breath. sweating. bout to have a heart attack. the whole works. it felt so good. came home. hot shower. fresh clothes. and it feels like i just released a whole lotta pent up something. stress? maybe or maybe not, cuz i don't think i was stressed out. more like i was in the slums. lack of stress or activity. i hate having nothing to do and just sitting in the house. i gotta be busy. i feel the best after a long (somewhat) productive tiring day.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
all-nighters
after being super lazy for maybe a year now, i finally decided to go ahead and install photoshop again. so now those MIST pictures that are like 4 megs each can be easily cropped and resized for normal human viewing.
this was our MIST banner. a masterpiece that is no longer with us today. i believe it was flushed down the toilet or used to soak up a basement flood. (wussup iboo)
after some photoshopping:
this was our MIST banner. a masterpiece that is no longer with us today. i believe it was flushed down the toilet or used to soak up a basement flood. (wussup iboo)
after some photoshopping:
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
no countdowns here
assalaamu alaikum
tonight was the 29th night (for some of us) and theres only at the most, 2 days left in ramadan. i was chilling with my boy earlier and i kept hearing him say, "finally, ramadan is almost over. i can't wait for eid man." i usually feel the same way. i did last year, and all the years before that. this ramadan is different. and you know whats funny is that while we were having our bootleg MSA meetings early on in the month, we had a lil discussion about how this ramadan was different from all the rest, or if it even was different at all. well at that time, i wasn't sure if it was different at all. i was just getting through each day and night one by one, and it didn't seem any different. but now i can honestly say that this is the first time where i REALLY do NOT want the month to end. i wish ramadan went on for the rest of the year. i wish it never stopped.
i wish taraweeh could go on for the rest of the year. i wish the rest of the months and every single day of the year could go by like a day of ramadan, drenched and surrounded by the recitation of Quran. i finished the Quran on the 25th night in annapolis, and the morning after, i was straight depressed. and just a few hours ago, we finished again at ISB, and i got that feeling again.
i could describe it as fear. fear of getting high off ramadan, and then hitting the low in the months following. i never really made ramadan or post-ramadan resolutions or any of that stuff, but this time... i dunno. i just wanna keep this up.
taraweeh man.
my arabic is garbage. but its 20 times better than last year, and recitation was the funnest thing in the world, cuz i was actually understanding it. my goal for next year (if i live that long) is to have arabic down, insha Allah. im gonna be studying it either way in the darul uloom, but i really wanna study it WELL. i wanna KNOW the language and be able to speak it, so basically that means that i wont be just "barely getting by" with my hour of studying a week or the way i usually procrastinate.
i got so much stuff to do and improve on. will i do it tho? i think bout all this stuff constantly, but i dont really act on it. today while i was waiting at the MVA for *4* hours, i was chillin in the car listening to Ghamdi's, Muhammad Jebril's, and Ajmy's khatm duah, and asked Allah to give me death right there if there was nothing good for me any more. basically, like if i was gonna slip up and become more worthless than i already am this following year, save me from it. and then i was thinking, i need to constantly make duah for Allah to make me die in a state of Islam, and the best state possible. almost like, oh Allah, if this state that i am in right now is the best state i will EVER be in, make me die in it. no i'm not wishing for death, but i'm juss saying that i'd rather die while i'm ahead rather than go backwards and die in an unfortunate situation.
Allahumma innaa na'oothu bika min 'AINIL LAA TUDMA'.
"Oh Allah, surely we seek refuge in You from the eye that doesn't tear."
* * * * * * * * *
oh, but i am looking forward to this sunday. tackle football, cedar lane park. i feel like merkin some cats. insha Allah.
tonight was the 29th night (for some of us) and theres only at the most, 2 days left in ramadan. i was chilling with my boy earlier and i kept hearing him say, "finally, ramadan is almost over. i can't wait for eid man." i usually feel the same way. i did last year, and all the years before that. this ramadan is different. and you know whats funny is that while we were having our bootleg MSA meetings early on in the month, we had a lil discussion about how this ramadan was different from all the rest, or if it even was different at all. well at that time, i wasn't sure if it was different at all. i was just getting through each day and night one by one, and it didn't seem any different. but now i can honestly say that this is the first time where i REALLY do NOT want the month to end. i wish ramadan went on for the rest of the year. i wish it never stopped.
i wish taraweeh could go on for the rest of the year. i wish the rest of the months and every single day of the year could go by like a day of ramadan, drenched and surrounded by the recitation of Quran. i finished the Quran on the 25th night in annapolis, and the morning after, i was straight depressed. and just a few hours ago, we finished again at ISB, and i got that feeling again.
i could describe it as fear. fear of getting high off ramadan, and then hitting the low in the months following. i never really made ramadan or post-ramadan resolutions or any of that stuff, but this time... i dunno. i just wanna keep this up.
taraweeh man.
my arabic is garbage. but its 20 times better than last year, and recitation was the funnest thing in the world, cuz i was actually understanding it. my goal for next year (if i live that long) is to have arabic down, insha Allah. im gonna be studying it either way in the darul uloom, but i really wanna study it WELL. i wanna KNOW the language and be able to speak it, so basically that means that i wont be just "barely getting by" with my hour of studying a week or the way i usually procrastinate.
i got so much stuff to do and improve on. will i do it tho? i think bout all this stuff constantly, but i dont really act on it. today while i was waiting at the MVA for *4* hours, i was chillin in the car listening to Ghamdi's, Muhammad Jebril's, and Ajmy's khatm duah, and asked Allah to give me death right there if there was nothing good for me any more. basically, like if i was gonna slip up and become more worthless than i already am this following year, save me from it. and then i was thinking, i need to constantly make duah for Allah to make me die in a state of Islam, and the best state possible. almost like, oh Allah, if this state that i am in right now is the best state i will EVER be in, make me die in it. no i'm not wishing for death, but i'm juss saying that i'd rather die while i'm ahead rather than go backwards and die in an unfortunate situation.
Allahumma innaa na'oothu bika min 'AINIL LAA TUDMA'.
"Oh Allah, surely we seek refuge in You from the eye that doesn't tear."
* * * * * * * * *
oh, but i am looking forward to this sunday. tackle football, cedar lane park. i feel like merkin some cats. insha Allah.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
juss a lil bit
salaamu alaikum
gotta let out a big: WOOOOOOO (loud sighing "woo" o_0)
i. am. beat. yo.
we ended just now, 2:00AM man. its like coming back from a good hard game of ball. it feels good. but you're straight mopped.
gotta let out a big: WOOOOOOO (loud sighing "woo" o_0)
i. am. beat. yo.
we ended just now, 2:00AM man. its like coming back from a good hard game of ball. it feels good. but you're straight mopped.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
the green ranger
salaamu alaikum
http://thatvideosite.com/view/969.html
aw man i would put this up on islamica, but the site that its on has some haramish ads.
ahh the old school days of saturday morning cartoons... :faint:
http://thatvideosite.com/view/969.html
aw man i would put this up on islamica, but the site that its on has some haramish ads.
ahh the old school days of saturday morning cartoons... :faint:
Friday, October 21, 2005
oh so close...
salaamu alaikum
i think there was a topic on islamica about where you see yourself in 10 years. i dunno, but my initial response was: prolly be dead. i dunno, is it just me, or does anybody else get the feeling that theyre gonna die real young? i do. the other day i was so tired when i was driving, i almost got into a nasty car accident, but alhamdulillah Allah saved me, and my car. but after that i was thinking, you know, that coulda been IT. and i wudda died in Ramadan. how many close calls have i had? im thinking about it, and im like, every day, im dodging bullets. we all are. its so easy to die.
i was planning on going for Hajj this year, thinking hey, if i have the money, let me do it, fulfill my obligation, and be ready to "die". but now im not going, cuz i asked the shaykh about students who wanted to go to hajj (in the aalim program) and he was like nah, theyll miss too much. ALTHOUGH, now that i think about it, since i HAVE already somewhat studied Nahw and Sarf (sure its garbage but hey i did take the course) i might be allowed to kinda miss a lil bit since im "ahead" right? at least this first year. im starting late anyways tho. its starting after ramadan, and im not gonna come in until my semesters over. i dunno.
im gonna start rambling now.
past few weeks ive been thinkin bout this stuff a lot, dunno why tho. but the whole notion of living this life as a traveler seems so hard in todays society, where you're grounded to this dunya by so many things. all these shiny things we have, fancy homes and clothes and cars, just tie us down. it seems almost impossible to truly "live this life as a traveler".
but im beginning to think, sure its got to do with material things, but also nonmaterial things, like attitudes. sometimes we take things so seriously. little dents in our egoes or emotions, and we get hurt so bad. is it really gonna kill us? even if it does, it doesn't matter, we're just travelers. people get caught up in dramas to such an extent that it affects their health and its all they think or talk about. dude you're a traveler.
now that might sound like im holding an opinion that you shouldnt get attached to people in this life, and that feelings dont matter because in the end, everybodys gonna hurt you and you will only be truly happy in the afterlife, inshaAllah. the latter part may be true, but i dont doubt things like sincerity, brother/sisterhood (such a powerful thing), piety, being TRUE and REAL and all that good green stuff. im tellin you, that stuff is real. its not imaginary. and just because we one day come into contact with the "real world" where things are ugly and gritty, we forget all these things and say "i have never experienced any good."
middle path.
sure we're all gonna die. the Prophet SAW knew that better than anyone, and yet the amount of love and genuine compassion he showed towards mankind in general was nothing short of amazing. why spend hours upon hours of qiyam at night time until his heels would bleed, begging Allah to help and save this Ummah - THIS UMMAH, that means every single one of us, you and I - why would anybody do that if "lifes a [bleep] and then you die"?
...[more if it comes to me]
i think there was a topic on islamica about where you see yourself in 10 years. i dunno, but my initial response was: prolly be dead. i dunno, is it just me, or does anybody else get the feeling that theyre gonna die real young? i do. the other day i was so tired when i was driving, i almost got into a nasty car accident, but alhamdulillah Allah saved me, and my car. but after that i was thinking, you know, that coulda been IT. and i wudda died in Ramadan. how many close calls have i had? im thinking about it, and im like, every day, im dodging bullets. we all are. its so easy to die.
i was planning on going for Hajj this year, thinking hey, if i have the money, let me do it, fulfill my obligation, and be ready to "die". but now im not going, cuz i asked the shaykh about students who wanted to go to hajj (in the aalim program) and he was like nah, theyll miss too much. ALTHOUGH, now that i think about it, since i HAVE already somewhat studied Nahw and Sarf (sure its garbage but hey i did take the course) i might be allowed to kinda miss a lil bit since im "ahead" right? at least this first year. im starting late anyways tho. its starting after ramadan, and im not gonna come in until my semesters over. i dunno.
im gonna start rambling now.
past few weeks ive been thinkin bout this stuff a lot, dunno why tho. but the whole notion of living this life as a traveler seems so hard in todays society, where you're grounded to this dunya by so many things. all these shiny things we have, fancy homes and clothes and cars, just tie us down. it seems almost impossible to truly "live this life as a traveler".
but im beginning to think, sure its got to do with material things, but also nonmaterial things, like attitudes. sometimes we take things so seriously. little dents in our egoes or emotions, and we get hurt so bad. is it really gonna kill us? even if it does, it doesn't matter, we're just travelers. people get caught up in dramas to such an extent that it affects their health and its all they think or talk about. dude you're a traveler.
now that might sound like im holding an opinion that you shouldnt get attached to people in this life, and that feelings dont matter because in the end, everybodys gonna hurt you and you will only be truly happy in the afterlife, inshaAllah. the latter part may be true, but i dont doubt things like sincerity, brother/sisterhood (such a powerful thing), piety, being TRUE and REAL and all that good green stuff. im tellin you, that stuff is real. its not imaginary. and just because we one day come into contact with the "real world" where things are ugly and gritty, we forget all these things and say "i have never experienced any good."
middle path.
sure we're all gonna die. the Prophet SAW knew that better than anyone, and yet the amount of love and genuine compassion he showed towards mankind in general was nothing short of amazing. why spend hours upon hours of qiyam at night time until his heels would bleed, begging Allah to help and save this Ummah - THIS UMMAH, that means every single one of us, you and I - why would anybody do that if "lifes a [bleep] and then you die"?
...[more if it comes to me]
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
comedian
salaamu alaikum
so yesterday after coming back from the district court and receiving my penalty/fine/wutever, i went through a depression that lasted a few hours while i slept, went to school for class, but decided not to go and just sat on the computer for 2 hours bored as crap in K building. alhamdulillah tho, iftar time rolled thru, i came back to the masjid and played playground football with the hafidh school kids, and realizing that i hadn't reviewed for the day, ate iftar, took a shower, and crammed in the juz at the last second. then after taraweeh, i went to the gym and lost in a game of basketball (now wait and calm down, because obviously, ShakirSahab doesn't lose games of basketball, so one must understand the underlying notions that ShakirSahab actually let whoever he was playing win, and then everything fits in place again.)
but anyways, now that im not as blown as before, ill relate how it went. first of all, i should be a comedian, because i had the entire court room laughing (with me >_>) and im pretty sure i made the judge's - who was a pretty ok lady (dont wanna say "nice" cuz she did give me that point at the end) - day. im serious, she shoulda dropped the thing just for being funny.
so i go up and start talking. i had written something down the night before, but when i went up there, any coherency i had on paper was lost.
i was like look, i know i shouldn't have been speeding, but i was on 29, and it was completely empty, im driving my dad's car, and i was late for a class, so i didn't notice how fast i was going. she asks me:
* * *
you have a class at 9:00PM?
yea, and class at my local community center.
at 9:00??? what kind of class is this?
an arabic class.
oh really? when does it end though?
around 11.
oh ok (satisfied)
* * *
so then im like, see the thing is I NEVER SPEED, i just get caught at the worst times. everybody starts laughing. so does the judge. im thinking 'good'. so then im like LOOK, i KNOW that 29 is the LAST place i wanna speed, cuz thats where the cops camp out, i KNOW THAT, so i dont even think bout going over the speed limit on that highway, especially when its empty, its just that that day, i was late for a class and i was just trying to make it on time.
meanwhile theyre all having a pretty good laugh, and shes like, "oh so you never speed but you get caught at the worst times?" im like yea. at this point im thinking, man i gotta use everything i got. so i pull the "i was going with the flow of traffic" card, and everybody is laughing at my great excuses. im like whatever, no use stopping now. so then i tell her how my 18 months are gonna be over in 2 months, and she just simply says, "not any more". i was like barrrrrrrrrr. bastard lady.
so as a final resort, before she can issue a sentencing i pick up the citation and im like, YO, (i actually did say YO in the court room by accident while i was explaining how i never speed and am such a good driver) my name is MISSPELLED on the citation, so TECHNICALLY, i dont even know who this guy is!!!
shes like, oh really, how do you spell ur name. i tell her, she writes it down somewhere, and says, they got ur last name right right? "yes". its all good then.
then she asks bout my previous ticket, and im like i got none. and shes like yea you do. and i go i was not guilty for that. and shes like yea you were. i go no i wasnt. and she goes did you pay a fine? i say yes. and she says that if you paid, then you were found guilty, but were on probation.
and then she says so youre on your provisionals? yes.
you're under 18????? yes.
so you know your parents were supposed to be notified about this? yes.
do they know? yea.
where are they? uhh, at home?
so they know about the ticket? yeaa (wth does she want?)
what did they say? to come here
(audience laughs)
SMH, what the hell do my parents have to do with anything. anyways, that was it. in the end, she said shed bring the speed down to 64 and that makes it one point, and that i should be careful. i stepped away from the podium thing and half expected applause and was thinking about bowing, but i decided not to...
instead i walked into the middle of the room and yelled, "[bleep] THE POLICE NIGGGAAAA!!@!!!" then stole their donuts and ran away.
EDIT: i just posted this on islamica, lets see if i get rep points.....
so yesterday after coming back from the district court and receiving my penalty/fine/wutever, i went through a depression that lasted a few hours while i slept, went to school for class, but decided not to go and just sat on the computer for 2 hours bored as crap in K building. alhamdulillah tho, iftar time rolled thru, i came back to the masjid and played playground football with the hafidh school kids, and realizing that i hadn't reviewed for the day, ate iftar, took a shower, and crammed in the juz at the last second. then after taraweeh, i went to the gym and lost in a game of basketball (now wait and calm down, because obviously, ShakirSahab doesn't lose games of basketball, so one must understand the underlying notions that ShakirSahab actually let whoever he was playing win, and then everything fits in place again.)
but anyways, now that im not as blown as before, ill relate how it went. first of all, i should be a comedian, because i had the entire court room laughing (with me >_>) and im pretty sure i made the judge's - who was a pretty ok lady (dont wanna say "nice" cuz she did give me that point at the end) - day. im serious, she shoulda dropped the thing just for being funny.
so i go up and start talking. i had written something down the night before, but when i went up there, any coherency i had on paper was lost.
i was like look, i know i shouldn't have been speeding, but i was on 29, and it was completely empty, im driving my dad's car, and i was late for a class, so i didn't notice how fast i was going. she asks me:
* * *
you have a class at 9:00PM?
yea, and class at my local community center.
at 9:00??? what kind of class is this?
an arabic class.
oh really? when does it end though?
around 11.
oh ok (satisfied)
* * *
so then im like, see the thing is I NEVER SPEED, i just get caught at the worst times. everybody starts laughing. so does the judge. im thinking 'good'. so then im like LOOK, i KNOW that 29 is the LAST place i wanna speed, cuz thats where the cops camp out, i KNOW THAT, so i dont even think bout going over the speed limit on that highway, especially when its empty, its just that that day, i was late for a class and i was just trying to make it on time.
meanwhile theyre all having a pretty good laugh, and shes like, "oh so you never speed but you get caught at the worst times?" im like yea. at this point im thinking, man i gotta use everything i got. so i pull the "i was going with the flow of traffic" card, and everybody is laughing at my great excuses. im like whatever, no use stopping now. so then i tell her how my 18 months are gonna be over in 2 months, and she just simply says, "not any more". i was like barrrrrrrrrr. bastard lady.
so as a final resort, before she can issue a sentencing i pick up the citation and im like, YO, (i actually did say YO in the court room by accident while i was explaining how i never speed and am such a good driver) my name is MISSPELLED on the citation, so TECHNICALLY, i dont even know who this guy is!!!
shes like, oh really, how do you spell ur name. i tell her, she writes it down somewhere, and says, they got ur last name right right? "yes". its all good then.
then she asks bout my previous ticket, and im like i got none. and shes like yea you do. and i go i was not guilty for that. and shes like yea you were. i go no i wasnt. and she goes did you pay a fine? i say yes. and she says that if you paid, then you were found guilty, but were on probation.
and then she says so youre on your provisionals? yes.
you're under 18????? yes.
so you know your parents were supposed to be notified about this? yes.
do they know? yea.
where are they? uhh, at home?
so they know about the ticket? yeaa (wth does she want?)
what did they say? to come here
(audience laughs)
SMH, what the hell do my parents have to do with anything. anyways, that was it. in the end, she said shed bring the speed down to 64 and that makes it one point, and that i should be careful. i stepped away from the podium thing and half expected applause and was thinking about bowing, but i decided not to...
instead i walked into the middle of the room and yelled, "[bleep] THE POLICE NIGGGAAAA!!@!!!" then stole their donuts and ran away.
EDIT: i just posted this on islamica, lets see if i get rep points.....
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
cuz i'm young and i'm black and my hats real low...
salaamu alaikum
man one of these days imma run from the police, just so i can provoke them to DO SOMETHING while theyre on the job and getting paid besides sitting and chilling in their fancy crown vics and clocking people for going 2 miles over the speed limit. bastards. no really, they dont do anything but sit on the side of the highway and give ppl tickets. go stop violence, stop the drug traffic, do something else besides exploiting other ppl's misfortunes. SMH
yes, i just got back from the court house after a near accident and death experience (another story) trying to fight my ticket. FIRST OF ALL, they had my name wrong on the citation. i tried that card but the judge lady was like, well ur last name is correct, so its all good. nice excuse eh, not my fault the officer can't spell my friggin name. technically i dunno who the hell HAMMOND HAI is...
to make a long story short, even though i had the entire court room laughing at my pretty elaborate excuse for speeding, she didnt drop it. instead she took it down to 1 point. SOOOO, that means that my 18 months are gonna start over again!!! bastards.
and soon i got the court thing for the old geezer lady thats sueing me after half a year. 10,000 dollars, mashaAllah. you old rich lady, what do you need all that money for!?!??!?!?!??!? to give to your son so he can go to a fancy private school!?!??! maybe im wrong and shes not rich. either way, shes exploiting me. i wouldnt have sued her. cuz shes old.
lemme go play some killer instinct to vent this frustration.
lets go fulgore.
man one of these days imma run from the police, just so i can provoke them to DO SOMETHING while theyre on the job and getting paid besides sitting and chilling in their fancy crown vics and clocking people for going 2 miles over the speed limit. bastards. no really, they dont do anything but sit on the side of the highway and give ppl tickets. go stop violence, stop the drug traffic, do something else besides exploiting other ppl's misfortunes. SMH
yes, i just got back from the court house after a near accident and death experience (another story) trying to fight my ticket. FIRST OF ALL, they had my name wrong on the citation. i tried that card but the judge lady was like, well ur last name is correct, so its all good. nice excuse eh, not my fault the officer can't spell my friggin name. technically i dunno who the hell HAMMOND HAI is...
to make a long story short, even though i had the entire court room laughing at my pretty elaborate excuse for speeding, she didnt drop it. instead she took it down to 1 point. SOOOO, that means that my 18 months are gonna start over again!!! bastards.
and soon i got the court thing for the old geezer lady thats sueing me after half a year. 10,000 dollars, mashaAllah. you old rich lady, what do you need all that money for!?!??!?!?!??!? to give to your son so he can go to a fancy private school!?!??! maybe im wrong and shes not rich. either way, shes exploiting me. i wouldnt have sued her. cuz shes old.
lemme go play some killer instinct to vent this frustration.
lets go fulgore.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
reminiscing on the past times
salaamu alaikum
ahh today i went and beat killer instinct and super street fighter 2 on Super Nintendo. i used to play those games like a fiend. i swear, me and my boy would ditch taraweeh to come and play video games for hours n hours. good times.
that was back when i had enough sleep that i could wake up at 7 AM automatically and watch sonic or ronin warriors or something. man im laggin on sleep, and its bad. cuz its not the "no sleep in 3 days" type of thing, its the "too little sleep over the course of about 2 weeks now", and i know its hittin me now cuz the other day, while driving, i got spots in my vision. it looked like how when rain hits the windshield, cept there was no rain or water, and it didnt happen on my windshield, just random spots in my vision and then they disappeared. 3 of em. pop pop pop, and then gone.
and today, during taraweeh, all of a sudden i couldn't feel my legs. my entire lower body became "detached" and i was having an outer body experience. im serious, i could feel my (upper) body still while it was reading quran (im still reading while this whole bizarre thing is happening) and it feels like "I" am spinning slowly in circles, away from my body, and outside of it. then the fan came around towards my body and blew air at me, and i almost stumbled. i was like whoa man, lemme hurry up and go into ruku so i can feel my legs again.
never happened to me before in my life man. and now imma go and do my homework for tomorrow.
ahh today i went and beat killer instinct and super street fighter 2 on Super Nintendo. i used to play those games like a fiend. i swear, me and my boy would ditch taraweeh to come and play video games for hours n hours. good times.
that was back when i had enough sleep that i could wake up at 7 AM automatically and watch sonic or ronin warriors or something. man im laggin on sleep, and its bad. cuz its not the "no sleep in 3 days" type of thing, its the "too little sleep over the course of about 2 weeks now", and i know its hittin me now cuz the other day, while driving, i got spots in my vision. it looked like how when rain hits the windshield, cept there was no rain or water, and it didnt happen on my windshield, just random spots in my vision and then they disappeared. 3 of em. pop pop pop, and then gone.
and today, during taraweeh, all of a sudden i couldn't feel my legs. my entire lower body became "detached" and i was having an outer body experience. im serious, i could feel my (upper) body still while it was reading quran (im still reading while this whole bizarre thing is happening) and it feels like "I" am spinning slowly in circles, away from my body, and outside of it. then the fan came around towards my body and blew air at me, and i almost stumbled. i was like whoa man, lemme hurry up and go into ruku so i can feel my legs again.
never happened to me before in my life man. and now imma go and do my homework for tomorrow.
Friday, October 14, 2005
salaamu alaikum
man im so screwed today. thanks to a certain classmate of mine, yesterday i got no sleep, "studying" for our philo discussion today. ya right. just killed brain cells trynna argue with him. and this morning? no suhoor. why? first 100 cars at the shell on 40 today got free gas. starting at 5AM, i was waiting in line for an hour. suhoor time is over, and i drive out of there with 20 bucks of free gas. was it worth it? i dunno
i just woke up from about 45 minutes of sleep, which is the worst, and i dunno if i should be operating machinery. oh well, time to go ahead and try.
man im so screwed today. thanks to a certain classmate of mine, yesterday i got no sleep, "studying" for our philo discussion today. ya right. just killed brain cells trynna argue with him. and this morning? no suhoor. why? first 100 cars at the shell on 40 today got free gas. starting at 5AM, i was waiting in line for an hour. suhoor time is over, and i drive out of there with 20 bucks of free gas. was it worth it? i dunno
i just woke up from about 45 minutes of sleep, which is the worst, and i dunno if i should be operating machinery. oh well, time to go ahead and try.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
salaamu alaikum
my plan failed. :-(
i read pretty slow today, hoping that the same uncles that were talkin to me yesterday bout going too fast would get tired of standing the whole time and ask me to speed up a lil bit. after 4 rakahs i heard them talking in the back, saying SOMEthing about the length of the rakahs, but then they just said that it was a good pace. something something something. we only finished like maybe 10 minutes later than usual too. i guess thats just how its gonna be now. its cool with me, the only thing that semi-not-even-really bothers me is that they got me.
yup, they got me.
my plan failed. :-(
i read pretty slow today, hoping that the same uncles that were talkin to me yesterday bout going too fast would get tired of standing the whole time and ask me to speed up a lil bit. after 4 rakahs i heard them talking in the back, saying SOMEthing about the length of the rakahs, but then they just said that it was a good pace. something something something. we only finished like maybe 10 minutes later than usual too. i guess thats just how its gonna be now. its cool with me, the only thing that semi-not-even-really bothers me is that they got me.
yup, they got me.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
salaamu alaikum
so today after Taraweeh, some dude kinda "went off" on me in a milder sense tho, about how i should slow down my recitation and how im reading too fast and stuff. first of all, i try to read as fast as i can WITH ALL the tajweed rules INTACT. second of all, what am I supposed to do? they only give me 12 raka'at, and i gotta read the wholeJUZ and a HALF in those 12. the first 8 they give to the students of their sunday school, and they read random short surahs from random places, and then when theyre done, then i get to lead the remaining 12.
honestly, i dont care. if they want me to read slower, ILL READ SLOWER. the ONLY reason i try to read fast is for THEIR sake, because the Raka's are ridiculously long even with the speed im reciting at. if they want me to read slower, they better be prepared for some reallllllllly long raka's. when i told them this, they were like you don't even have to read a juz and a half! just read a QUARTER!? its not fard to finish the quran! thats just desi mentality.
after that i stopped talking and just gave them the stoneface. -_-
i remember they told me that last year when they first met me. i was like yo, im finishing the quran. no its not cuz i think its fard. but because its a goal for ME. it superglues my quran back together.
on a sidenote: im on a ramadan high.
so today after Taraweeh, some dude kinda "went off" on me in a milder sense tho, about how i should slow down my recitation and how im reading too fast and stuff. first of all, i try to read as fast as i can WITH ALL the tajweed rules INTACT. second of all, what am I supposed to do? they only give me 12 raka'at, and i gotta read the wholeJUZ and a HALF in those 12. the first 8 they give to the students of their sunday school, and they read random short surahs from random places, and then when theyre done, then i get to lead the remaining 12.
honestly, i dont care. if they want me to read slower, ILL READ SLOWER. the ONLY reason i try to read fast is for THEIR sake, because the Raka's are ridiculously long even with the speed im reciting at. if they want me to read slower, they better be prepared for some reallllllllly long raka's. when i told them this, they were like you don't even have to read a juz and a half! just read a QUARTER!? its not fard to finish the quran! thats just desi mentality.
after that i stopped talking and just gave them the stoneface. -_-
i remember they told me that last year when they first met me. i was like yo, im finishing the quran. no its not cuz i think its fard. but because its a goal for ME. it superglues my quran back together.
on a sidenote: im on a ramadan high.
Friday, October 07, 2005
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